Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I don't have family or friends to talk to about this and I don't know what to do.
I'm a 26 year old female, I live in Flint MI with my bf of two years. I love him very much and we are compatible, however he never wants to have sex with me and it has ruined my self esteem. I look in the mirror and I feel like the ugliest girl. It has been over 4 months since we have had sex...yes I have told him my concerns and he always says the same thing. He apologizes and just says it is because he isn't in the mood ever. It makes me feel like what is the point? Why does he even want me to be his gf if he is not interested in me sexually? He's 15+ years older than me and says I am the best and sweetest gf that he has ever had. He pays everything for me and we never argue. Should I just let this go? Should I get a job as a stripper or something so that I can get some type of sexual attention from a guy? It has made me feel so depressed and makes me feel like giving up on life.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
In the meantime, keep your sensuality in tact. Dress nice, smell nice and get out and strut your stuff!!!
Do you see any signs of addiction with him?
I guess all you can do is tell him you'd like more intimacy, and that you'd like him to address whatever the issue is. Decide how much longer you can live like this, if he won't or can't address the issue.
I would ask him if he has been this way his whole life, or when did his low sex drive start.... try to find some clue as to what the reason is.
Maybe he has something where once it turns into a more serious relationship, that he looks at his partner differently? More of a friend and not a sexual partner?
You'll have to talk to him. Don't let him brush you off with "I'm tired", etc. Then say "Fine, we'll do it tomorrow when you're not tired, say in the morning".... You need to express to him that this is important to you and that you want to work on it with him but that he has to be willing to try.
You say he pays for everything. This is bad. If you're not working, yes--I think you should work, maybe not as a stripper, but something. It'll take up some of your time and mental energy, give you something to think about besides sex, it'll make you a little more tired, so you'll understand why he's tired, and it'll put extra money on the table so he doesn't have to work so much.
There's a reason this is happening maybe physical or might be mental... He's a young man so there's a reason
I agree with koolman that you getting out and being productive may really help you and your self esteem.....xo
You might want to discuss couples counseling with him. If you want to see your relationship grow then finding out why he doesn't want to be intimate is important for your well-being and his. God has a specific person for each of us. He may not be the one for you. However, if he is the one, then he needs to heal from whatever is holding him back from enjoying you intimately. I will be praying for you and you are able to find out what is holding him back from desiring you. Remember it is not you, it is his problem. Lots of Hugs!