Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
It's like I have 'run out of gas'. Been fighting an up-hill battle with debt and working towards getting out of an emotionally abusive, unfulfilling marriage.
My husband knew I was unhappy, what my intentions were and LIED to me about being unemployed for EIGHT MONTHS (he got dressed, left, and acted like he was going into work all that time).
I found out --- he's not remorseful. Really only cares about himself. Fine. I've come to expect that with him.
Now I'm at a point where I'm emotionally and financially exhausted. I can't pick myself up and do what I need/want to do !
I'm not working and have cc and student loan debts. From all the stress, belive I'm suffering from major depression.
He is now back working and has much cc debt from being unemployed for so long. He also spent through a large chunk of his 401k (!)
Could I even dream of getting spousal support ? When I try to discuss how we will make our living arrangements, we don't resolve anything. He goes back and forth saying - 'you take the house' (which I can't afford right now) --- to - 'there's the door'
Frustrating and scary. I would like to get out of his presence, but he pays the mortgage and health insurance right now. He sabbotaged me when I was making the $$$ to do so last year, what a moronic jerk.
Can anyone help me with what to do ??? And how ??
BTW he was a forgein exchange student who doesn't want to return to his home country because he says 'he think he would be killed or put into jail'. He is abusive and not close with his family from his country.
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
And virtually every place we went to we were told that we were the best tenants that they ever had. Took care of rodent and bug issues ourselves, etc. Having a friend that did Terminix work was handy, and well I've always known to set mouse traps in Pennsylvania winters. It's nothing to fix a leaky faucet when you know how...definitely easier to do it ourselves than to call anyone, etc. My ex also knew how to do more advanced plumbing/electrical.
In any case, all I can say is that wherever you go, be thankful for whoever will let you bring your dog...and show it with hundreds of dollars in appreciation a month...if not in cash, than in things that you will do around the house to fix things.
Worked for us anyway. But I think that we were really, really, really lucky.
I have a chronic disease so I get the fatigue when the disease is not controlled. Maybe you can only work part time. Maybe it can only be jobs where you would need to sit. But if you can hang in there, working and earning even a little money, and being around others, can really start to give you strength, confidence and power.
You really have to just start at the very least taking steps to get a plan in place. That is something you have absolute control over.
There is a lot to be said for peace of mind though..... Do you want to be living like this in 5 years or not??... You have decide what's most important to you.... Big hug.....xo