Did she do something that has caused you not to trust her when she goes out?

Not really, she goes to a bar that a ex hangs out., besides that nothing big.

is it controlling or is it a fear that she may not be trustworthy? past experiences my be preventing you from taking control of your emotions in a positive way.

That fine line between caring and obsessing...yes...I know it well.

You have to learn the art of attach...and then detach. You have to learn to not care so much.

Why see a girl who frequents bars anyway? Nothing good can come of that environment. She'll either come home drunk or laid. A dance club is a little better, because at least she'll be getting exercise and you can dance with her.

I'm sure she's very sexy...

Go for a hot girl and you'll always wonder who else is descending upon her like a hawk besides you. It's the price of admission.

lol koolman... That is messed up ( your comment about "the hot girl" )
I get the point that you're trying to make, but really? Should mystery man pick a bowzer next time so he can send her out into the world knowing she won't attract anyone? lol

Anywho.. To Mystery Man. It sucks to feel insecure. I hate when it happpens to me. I snap out of it by realizing that if a person wants to cheat they are going to.. it is out of our control. So I might as well maintain my dignity and self-esteem by not acting like an insecure wacko.. because it is wasted energy. Sometimes we have to know when it's out of our hands. Now if the signs are there and/or you catch her in the "act" You have the choice to leave. You are free. That is the wonderful part

If you two are dating exclusive and she goes out drinking fairly often without you, unless you do the same, I would say that is a big red flag anyway.

You may want to find a woman that doesn't do the bar thing to have a relationship with. I know, easier said that done...

I always heard that a couple that plays together stays together. Why would someone want to go to a bar without their partner?

I agree, a couple that plays togetger stays together, I too eould wonder what she is doing at the bar scene without you. With whom, and why? But at the same tine, I am wondering how long you have been seeing each other, and have you had excludivity talk yet. For example, if you've only known each other s couple weeks, is much different than if you have known each other a couple months or year. She may not be ready to commit now, if she doesn't know much about you, but might be ready later. Go with your gut, keep your eyes wide open.

christy: (sigh) The downside of posting in a public forum.

No, I think he SHOULD go for a woman he (and others) find attractive. The main thing is to go for a woman who has some self-control.