Communicate your needs to him.

If i see that someone is agitated i dont try to talk back.
When the person calms down, then i lay it out about how this person's ranting makes me feel.

I basically do what Aronia does. Basically back off, dont say anything, until after the person is calmed down (more likely to listen). Trying to reason with someone, while they are in a bad mood, just prolongs it, inflame/ escalates it.

However, iff the vent is not directed at you (or one of your loved one), just allow them to vent, let it go. Avoid giving advice, unless they ask for it. My rule of thumb on giving advice, dont give it more than once or twice. Beyond that, it is going to fall on deaf ears. They need to do the leg work to fix it, not you.

If the vents (or criticism), are over something that has a significant impact to both of you, like child rearing, or finances, set a time to calmly talk this out (without distractions), do you research, work out a plan, try and reach a compromise, but set realistic goals.

If hes venting about you, is about something he can do himself (cooking or cleaning or certain way), tell him youd love it if hed help, and keep doing it the way you were doing. If you have the money, hire a housekeeper, or eat out.

If hes nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking, like forgetting to turn off a light, left the cap off the toothpaste (absent minded stuff, versus intentional crap), I don't bother responding to that kind of stuff.

oh, I forgot to mention, if the vents are directed at you, below he belt-stuff, like picking on your weight/ looks, name calling you, saying you are bad, well, tell him those types of comments are very hurtful, tell him to not do it again, and demand an apology. If he doesn't acknowledge it is hurtful, doesn't show any remorse, turns it back on you (does the crazy making, humiliation thing), I'd seriously consider the direction of your relationship (start making an exit plan). If he appear remorseful, makes a sincere attempt to change, I'd maybe give it a couple months. Not sure, I tend to have zero tolerance for that kind of stuff.

Just agree with him on every single one of the points he's ranting about. Lets him know, if he's looking for an argument, he's come to the wrong place.

I have to agree with TTM and Aronia. I do stay away from someone getting angry i walk away but communication is so important in a relationship so talk talk talk. Hugs

I read that if you are in a relationship that makes you feel "stressed" or "drained", then it isn't a good relationship. The person you are with should make you feel empowered and let you grow as a person. I agree with communication with him. Alot of communication. But if it doesn't work.......move on.

All good advice so far: communicate your needs, don't engage or escalate when he's on a rant, and if the "ranting" is abusive remove yourself from the environment permanently (abusers only escalate the abuse, they almost never "recover" because they are fundamentally unable to empathize or accept personal responsibility).