Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Well its been a while DS friends.
I have been trying to focus on myself and getting myself together.
Which I feel like I have done somewhat. I have started some re-training and have a new career for 2016 so its looking good.
I have been re-reading my posts on here over the last few years, nothing much has changed. I still feel very dissatisfied with life and with my situation and relationship.
I don't feel inclined to leave or want to stay.
I am pretty sure I don't love him.
Im not even sure I like him!
The issue of not feeling at home in this house is still there - is that whats causing me so much discomfort?
( My H works from home and we have staff who work within the home office every day, I don't feel I can relax at all! I have no privacy and I struggle to focus on my stuff with people in my house, its hard to explain!)
The issue of him doing strange and hurtful things is still there.
Yesterday he tad me he had decided to take a third pay cut. When I asked him why he didn't discuss it with me and he said 'what was the point I wouldn't understand' I felt so angry and sad that he had that impression of me.
He asked me to keep today free so we could spend some time together as I have been on a course this weekend and then last night he told me he was on a training course all day and wouldn't see me til 8pm tonight. That sort of thoughtless actions hurt me and make me feel insignificant.
I am now really bored with our sex life, no matter how much I have tried to spice it up! He just doesn't turn me on really. I suppose because Im not in love with him and have all these other feelings buzzing around my head.
Im feeling really unsettled, not knowing which way to jump. Should I leave or should I go. He sears he loves me and Im sure he thinks he does. His actions don't say that to me and I have become more and more disillusioned as time goes by.
Any advice? How do I start to work out what I want or how I feel?
I have been trying to focus on myself and getting myself together.
Which I feel like I have done somewhat. I have started some re-training and have a new career for 2016 so its looking good.
I have been re-reading my posts on here over the last few years, nothing much has changed. I still feel very dissatisfied with life and with my situation and relationship.
I don't feel inclined to leave or want to stay.
I am pretty sure I don't love him.
Im not even sure I like him!
The issue of not feeling at home in this house is still there - is that whats causing me so much discomfort?
( My H works from home and we have staff who work within the home office every day, I don't feel I can relax at all! I have no privacy and I struggle to focus on my stuff with people in my house, its hard to explain!)
The issue of him doing strange and hurtful things is still there.
Yesterday he tad me he had decided to take a third pay cut. When I asked him why he didn't discuss it with me and he said 'what was the point I wouldn't understand' I felt so angry and sad that he had that impression of me.
He asked me to keep today free so we could spend some time together as I have been on a course this weekend and then last night he told me he was on a training course all day and wouldn't see me til 8pm tonight. That sort of thoughtless actions hurt me and make me feel insignificant.
I am now really bored with our sex life, no matter how much I have tried to spice it up! He just doesn't turn me on really. I suppose because Im not in love with him and have all these other feelings buzzing around my head.
Im feeling really unsettled, not knowing which way to jump. Should I leave or should I go. He sears he loves me and Im sure he thinks he does. His actions don't say that to me and I have become more and more disillusioned as time goes by.
Any advice? How do I start to work out what I want or how I feel?
It sounds to me like you've gotten very little positive attention from your parents and your husband. You've made a habit of making excuses for all of them. I think finding a good therapist and getting to know what you really want out of life is key.