My husband is so secretive it drives me nuts. we have only been married 10 years but since day one he has hidden things from me. He would take his mail to work unopened etc parcel would arrive but he would again take them to his work unopened.

I then started to snoop, his phone, his computer etc. I feel a bad person doing this but i felt something was not right.

i found out that he had taken out a credit card and ran up £3k of debt on it, an overdraft which was in joint names was owing £2k. He had a bank loan from his past which he had chosen to hide from me. etc etc. we have a good income and lifestyle but he doesnt pay off one thing before he takes out something else.

Then last week i found out that he has gone guarantor on a 6k loan for his son. I am really upset about this as his son has twice already lost his job and it will take 4 years to pay off when we will nearly be at retiring age. I am upset as again he has not told me or asked me about it , i feel that it is lack of respect.

when i told him about it he doesnt even say sorry or give any explaination. he just goes quiet and then turns it around like he is the injured party.

To add to that he consistently has nude women on his phone and laptop. he knows that these videos and pictures make me feel worthless as i have told him but he continues to do it. The only thing that gets turned on in our bedroom is the tv which he refuses not to have on.

when we go out he is like an owl with his head twirling around looking at anyone but me.  He never shows any interest in my life or health, even when i have been to the hospital he doesnt ask. i have told him that i am depressed - how does he react - silence.

i feel invisible as he goes around making eye contact with any young woman that passes. I know he cant go about with his eyes shut but you know what i mean. he stares and smiles - only at the young pretty ones of course.

He is obsessed with tv and his hobbies, he barely looks at me if i talk. in fact he will hand me a drink while looking the other way. 

Now he acts like he has done nothing wrong and i am at the stage where i just wish he would disappear and then i again feel like a bad person.

I told him that i wanted to end our marriage but all he said was ok. However he acts like nothing has happened and that things are normal. This is what he does.

I feel like i am going off my head with this man. He honestly gives me nothing emotionally or physically. I am so alone and depressed but have no one to talk to about it. 

I feel like i need some straight talking to get it straight into my thick skull. I have a history of abusive relationships too so I am aware that i do tend to let people treat me badly.

what do you think ?