True. I'll be bicycling 10 more miles tomorrow. All except for the part about "when you're healthy, you attract healthy people to you". I've found it to be quite the opposite. When I'm healthy, all the UNHEALTHY people come out of the woodwork wanting to hang out with me, dragging me down into their black hole, stepping over my lifeless corpse as they stew in drunkenness, negativity and misery. Most of the time I have a good sense of humor about it. Other times, I tell them "Get away from me!", to no avail.

This is because unfortunately there are more unhealthy people in the world than there are healthy people.. You are healthy, so you can weed through them better than those who are unhealthy, make sense? :)

May I also add (with respect) that if one chooses to hangout where those kind of people hangout, what business do we have in telling them to go away...? Maybe we ought to think more about the places we choose to hangout and then we might find the people we would prefer to associate and communicate and build relationship with..

One of the things that helped me with this years ago is to make up a template of my values - if others don't fit what's fundamentally important to me then usually I choose to not hang out with them. Not because I want everyone to be like me but what I found is this:

Where your treasure is there your heart is

I don't value alcohol (for example) so I don't hang around pubs, instead I would catch up with friends who value similar things to me such as going to the beach, bush walking, creative activites etc...

This is a good post. Lots of wise advice.

Fawn2015. I couldn't agree more with your post. You are absolutely right in my opinion

That is True Fawn.
You gotta take care of yourself and meet your own needs.

I think I will assume a healthy relationship is anything that is opposite what I just dealt with for 13 years.

I need to start with me.

Any advice on how that happens? How do you say "I will put myself first, no matter what?"

You just do, you start everyday with this question, "what can I do today to male my life a little better?" Maybe I'll go for a walk, talk a nice hot bath." it doesn't have to be expensive. But you are treating yourself. YOu also do this in your everyday decisions, such as "will what I'm about to do, be a good positive thing for me? Is that person I want to hang out with going to up life me, or drag me down?" instead of feeling guilty for wanting for you, embrace what you want! and know that you deserve it!!! YOU are worth more!! :)

I met some guys who do exercise, claiming of living balanced, active, healthy lifestyle, but be totally screwed up in their souls or minds.
I heard that healthy attracts healthy, but never saw a true proof to it and what is healthy in anyway? Person may be healthy physically, but rotten inside or unhealthy for you after all.
I go from my gut feeling, it usually tells me right, even if some healthy or normal "eggs are not all in the basket". I think friendship without co-dependency, similar likes and views and attraction to each other is the key. And of course, I do agree, you do have to like yourself in order of someone else liking you for who you are.
For me when someone is genuine and kind that is healthy. Hard to find this days.

I'm not talking just healthy on the outside, you must be healthy on the inside before you can attract healthy, Believe me, it works, I used to have real low self worth, and had attracted lots of unhealthy men. Once I went to counseling, worked on my self worth, my self image changed, I became a more positive person. Yes, I still attracted unhealthy, but I could see how unhealthy they were, and I could weed them out. Then I met someone as healthy as me. We have been together 5 years, we never yell, we never call each other names, we always talk things through when we argue. We lift each other up. cheer each other on. Support each other no matter what. We are in a very healthy relationship with unconditional love. Believe me. this can happen for anyone! I had to deal with abuse from my father, school teachers, ex-husband and exboyfriends,and ex female friends. I even weeded out family members. Once I got healthy, I found a love for myself I never realized I had! I wouldn't tolerate abuse from anyone anymore, and if they couldn't accept me for who I am, then they can hit the road. Life is really better once you can get to that healthy place. YOu get your self worth healthy, then it becomes easy to get healthy on the outside. beauty is within!!

"May I also add (with respect) that if one chooses to hangout where those kind of people hangout, what business do we have in telling them to go away...? Maybe we ought to think more about the places we choose to hangout and then we might find the people we would prefer to associate and communicate and build relationship with.."

Roots, that's true, and I don't go to "those" places, but alcoholism, for example, is not confined to bars and pubs, and "those" people find me anyway, because we share a mutual acquaintenance. People get drunk inside their own homes too, y'know. And smoke weed.

I agree that it doesn't help that sometimes I drink too much too. I'm working on it.

Even when I'm clean and sober, when I've bested my own temptation to drink, I find it very difficult to associate with another person who is drunk. Looking at it from the outside, it's disgusting. The reek of alcohol, the slurred speech, the hours of black-out unconsciousness. It's not exactly what I'd call inspiring, positive or healthy. Seeing it from the outside makes me all the more willing to just drink water and juice.

I have to simply get myself away from the person, get out and physically exercise or do something else that is positive and healthy for me. That's the only way for me to retain control of myself and not lose my temper at the person or be miserably depressed.

I like the "body is healthy but the mind and soul are twisted" comment too. That is so true! I can be in some pretty dark funks myself. How I choose to fill them, create in them, is what matters. Some of the greatest creativity comes from those very dark places! A buddy and I are making a short film about suicide and the person who committed suicide by cutting his wrists is asking God's forgiveness while he's bleeding out.

The bottom line is: None of us is perfect! Which begs the question: Can we still LOVE each other IN SPITE OF, or even CELEBRATING our imperfections, and in the process, do we form a healthier whole that is greater than the unhealthy parts? I think, yes.

Definitely!!! :) :) :)

absolutely!!!