Went on three dates with three men this past week. And I have to be honest, all my vibes before I met them about them turned out to be right on. Online dating is very hard. I'm bi and has been very hard for me to meet someone I like. So this past year, I have been working hard on healing myself. The healthier I am the better person I will attract and the less crap I will allow myself to get involved with. Maybe try that approach. It seems to be really working for me. I met a really great guy, who is respectful, has a great job and great love for his family and dog. I don't think I would have given him a chance in the past due to my low self esteem, but now-I'm boldly going there and excited to see what happens. So look for a woman who says your same interests and beliefs and if you see or feel red flags-DON"T IGNORE THEM. What you accept is what you get. :)

I am very curious to know what you saw or she said in those 60 seconds. :)

amaxfield, I totally agree with you, that one needs to be healthy to ensure the people they attract are healthy, however there are those that are unhealthy that want a relationship with you and it's important to let those people go.

Liannme, yes 60 seconds, first the internet picture was not close to what she looked like, and her initial attitude was a downer. Right away I said this isn't the person I would want to date. The real clincher was when I asked her how long she's been divorced, and she stated she was not divorce but has been seperated for the past 8 years and her husband comes from another state to see the kids every 2 wks. This date went from bad to worse. Needless to say I don't plan on asking her for another date.
That's why I'd rather meet someone the old fashion way.

Wow so many things all at once! I do wonder what people think will happen when the meet a person if they have used a photo that doesn't look like their current self, not even divorced after 8 years!
Now I wanna know if you paid for the date? lol
Just kidding.
I met someone online once and pretty much everything was a lie- or more some half truth anyway. He lived in a 3 bedroom place- I thought it was a house, turns out if was a trailer that he shared with his mom and two brothers!
Of course I don't seem to do any better meeting guys in person either- last week I went for a bone scan- maybe I will call back and ask if they can see a giant magnet in there that attracts loses/users! :)

LiannaMe, unfortuantely I did pay for the coffee, however on the positive side I found an awesome coffee shop to hang out at in the future. LOL
I believe like you I may want to also get a checkup to see if I have a loser magnet some place in my body. After my last two relationships ended I ask myself "What the hell was I thinking to get involved with these women?"

At least you can see the positive in this experience- you went out had some conversation with someone different- saw it would be a disaster and didn't get involved further which should give you the confidence that you aren't a total sucker for wackadoos! AND you found a new place for coffee- plus you are a good guy for buying the coffee, a small price to pay for an enlightening experience :)

I hear this from lots of men.....that the women don't look like their pictures.
For the life of me I do not understand what these people are thinking!
I mean eventually you have to meet people and then they will find out you don't look like the pic! DUH!

I have been on many dating sites, most recently e-harmony....IMO they are ALL a huge waste of time and money.

I am hoping to meet someone the old fashioned way too!

Linna, yes I saw disaster, and that was an easy one, however the hard ones are the ones that sneek up on you. It's when you think you're dating the right person who has not displayed any wacko behavior, and then 6 months down the road something triggers them and the wacko comes out big time.

Onetoomany, I have to agree with you Eharmony is not what they advertise. I'm really questioning if the results of finding a person on that site is very realistic,in addition it's not inexpensive.

I'm thinking it would be less expensive & more productive to place an ad in the paper with my picture/description "Looking for The One" Wackos please not apply". LOL

I just recently found a section of kijiji of people just wanted to make new friends, expand their social life- probably that's not a bad way to do it. I see there are lots of people saying they just don't know how to meet new people anymore, event to make friends. Seems I am not the only person that just doesn't have "friends" anymore. I am single and the people I have met since moving here have been married and couples want other couples to do things with. So it's not just hard to meet a man to date it's hard just to make a really good friend.

Clearly my mom did not teach me not to talk to strangers because I do it all the time! If I am in a long line I almost always say something to who ever is close to me!
But it is true- people don't show their true selves until you really get to know them. I didn't know my first bf's ugly side until we were living together- just happy that we weren't legally married. I also am not the same person I used to be- maybe I'm just now finding out about my wacko side? lol Crap now I've got to hide it from potential dates until I suck them in!

Even on meetup.com I find many people (guys included) don't post recent pictures of themselves.
As you say it makes no sense because people are going to see them at the meetups anyway so why try to make out that you are this young hot thing when in fact you are at least ten years older and look nothing like you used to.
Do you think it is wishful thinking? Hoping they can regain their youth by some miracle?

o.m.g. it's frustrating.... I deal with it by not dating, and now I'm contemplating dating again but waiting til after holidays again so I have one less thing to worry about with gifts, parties, etc.

New2free, in regards to people not posting an updated photo on dating sites, I feel it's very deceiving, especially when the picture was taken several yrs. ago.

As to why someone would do that, I can only speculate that they're in denial. As I'm becoming more mature (older) I've had to learn acceptance with the aging process, and that it's part of life, and being in deinal you're only fooling yourself.

Yes, it's frustrating for me, and, like cheaplove, I try to convince myself, when I meet someone, that it's not a "date" at all (undue pressure) and that this is just a meeting, which will hopefully inspire another meeting.

Hell, I'm just trying to pursue my own bliss and adventures, welcoming any others into that who would like to come. Bike-riding at a park, anyone?

I tend to push myself, and others, pretty hard, in physical, and intellectual challenges/situations! A certain competitive nature and anger emerges in me at times. I recognize that, in a sensitive relationship, this pushes another away, and I don't want to be alone forever, so I'm trying to be calm and patient with others' issues.