Healthy Relationships Support Group
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My "boyfriend" seems only want to talk to me the most when I DON'T want to talk to him. And the reason that I get in my moods of not wanting to talk to him is when I text him, and he takes forever to reply I get fed up with trying to communicate with him so eventually I stop trying to reach out to him and take time to myself. And then that's when he decides to try to talk to me and I quote "It's only when you don't text me do I feel I want you to more lol" I thought I was hott and cold with what I wanted..... I'm getting extrememly fed up lately with everything and approaching the end of my shtick here quickly. I don't know where we stand any longer and I don't like it. We've talked about everything over and over continously, but nothing is changing. I'm going to be moving to Vermont for college soon and if nothing changes soon, I'm not going to keep putting myself through this for something that will get me no where for someone who doesn't give two words about this, whatever it is, when I could find the love of my life as soon as I step foot out of my car. I won't pass up opportunity for something that could make me happy for something that messed it up the first time.
Although, from what I gather, It sounds like the communication in your relationship with your bf is not in sync, and it's creating a lot of frustration? Or maybe there is some type of texting game playing going on that you're not interested in?
It also sounds like you're pretty young, and there are some big life changes coming - like moving away to college & etc?
Sounds like it might just be time to move on, and meet some new people that are more in sync with you.
Constantly being frustrated is no way to continue on in a relationship.
Move on. Meet some new people. Maybe some space may help you to see things more clearly and identify what you want?
Best of luck
Seriously.
Idk how people use it as a main way to communicate. It just blows my mind.
I, like others, are of the mindset that texts are not urgent, and an immediate reply is not warranted. If you NEED me, you'll call me.
I hate to say it, but I had a 20+ year friendship go down over texts. She refused to call me, and I drew the line there. Sad, cuz we grew up in the days before personal cell phones when everything was via land line.
90% of what we say is in how we say it. This is lost over text. That means 90% of what you say isn't conveyed over a text. So for pete's sake, pick up the damn phone. Go to his house. Have a little one on one interaction.
How long does it take for him to respond to one of your messages? A couple hours? A couple days? A week?
ive only seen him once in the past year and a half. our relationship has been extremely strained because of a bad breakup weve had.
and him not replying to me can go on for hours. and he'll say he missed my text......which i frankly dont buy. especially since he uses it so often, but i could be wrong on that part. but like today. he said goodmorning. i said goodmorning. asked a little bit later what i was doing. told him so, havent heard from him since. its been 2hours :| see where im getting at? on the phone it seems that im at fault because i dont talk enough and on this it seems the other way around because he can take as long as he wants to reply back to me. its just the lack of communication, im really getting fed up with.
I think it is best that you take some time to explore your feelings and I think if you are calm his actions will not affect you the way the are now. Plus you will not have any regrets later because you will not be inclined to say things out of anger. Anyway take a deep breath and try and get yourself in a comfortable position before talking with him at all. Wishing you the very best:)