Always be honest. If they do not like that you aren't exclusive, then that's on them.

Yep..always be honest. Clarify too, if that means sleeping with people. I am not going to be exclusive with anyone for a while..and I tell them..but I also mention that I am not up for sleeping with multiple people. Although, that might not be necessary information..a lot of men think that if you are dating many men..you are sleeping with all of those men. Not the case at all.

Panther - excellent point. People do assume sex is always involved.

Honesty is always the best policy, and to ensure you are not deceiving your dates, keep a strict code of conduct, and keep it intact.

My guidelines for dating are:

Never date more than one person at a time, as it diminishes your intentions of getting to know this person, and it diminishes their importance to you.

Telling your date that you are dating others makes you sound like you're presently interviewing and will get back to them with your final decision if they meet your standards, and this is no way to start a relationship.

Date only one person at a time, and make a decision by the end of your third or forth date as to whether the person is worthwhile going forward. Don't second-guess yourself, don't cut them any slack, and don't drag it on beyond its expiry date, just make a final decision, yes or no.

If you have met others you are interested in meeting, or have others in the works, keep it at a chatting/emailing/texting level, and do not meet with them in person until you are completely free and committed. One can often learn a lot about a person via chats and conversations without meeting in person.

Once you have gone beyond the third or forth date, and have decided to further pursue them, let all of your chatting persons know that you are interested in someone at the moment, and would like to take a break from having contact with them so that you can give your date of interest your full undivided attention. Your chatting persons will admire this act of integrity and will think well of you, as this is how they would want to be treated.

If your date does not work out, you can contact your chatting persons and let them know you are now free to see them, or continue chatting, whichever suits your situation best. If they are no longer available or become incensed, so be it, life goes on, as should you.

No one likes to be second fiddle, and dating more than one person can confuse you and your dates. It can be misconstrued as being disrespectful and uncaring, and it often causes more turmoil down the road, and less than successful results.

But these are purely my guidelines for dating, and they have served me well

I disagree
Not an expert but I think dating is to get to know several people until you decide who is best for you
Nothing wrong with thst as long as there's no sex involved

Honesty will keep you from possible large mistakes you spend with the wrong person for lengths of time that are precious . I speak from experience . After joining a reliable dating service and truly enjoying old-fashioned courting I committed to the first man that said "I love you" even moving in with him . I now after many months have found out we are not nearly as compatible as I had originally thought . I don't want to hurt him and am in a quandary . I truly wish I had been honest with him and told him I needed to date him and others before getting serious . If it is meant to be , it will work . Good luck !

Wow, great question and responses. I am just starting to date a bit and this is great information.

Good thread! Thanks for the info.

i think, like with many things, dating etiquette can vary from person to person, and it is about personal preference and personal expectation.

i personally relate a lot to Betrayedintoronto's comments, and would prefer to conduct myself in a manner similar to that, and i would like a man i would date to have similar dating habits to that as well. personally, the dating i did before i married, i found it emotionally confusing and, at times, exhausting to try to date someone who was dating other women. to me that adds too many variables into the equation for me to really take that guy seriously. if someone i'm seeing is seeing other people, i'm gonna bow out. you're automatically put into a competitive scenario, even if it is civil, simply because there are 2 (or more) of you. and i am not going to compete for someone's affections/attention, etc. i don't do the "pick me" dance for any man, and i wouldn't expect a man to do that for me either. i personally would like to find someone who is OK, happy, content, etc not always talking to/dating a woman. it would be refreshing to me for once to meet a guy that is not already chatting up someone else. because in my experiences it has been more rare, and it would be refreshing: to meet someone who is waiting for someone special.

i feel that i cannot focus on dating multiple men at once, nor would i want to: if i meet someone and we are clicking, i want to see where that goes without the added element of seeing/talking to someone else. so i think that it is important to be open about how you feel. some think it is "normal/expected" to date several people all at once, but that is not everyone's "normal." being up front and honest about expectations is a good way to go because that way you minimize confusion and potential hurt feelings down the line.

This is a great thread. I like the responses.

I just told one of the women I am dating that she wasn't the only one. She didn't like that at all and broke it off with me. We have been intimate and only dated for a couple of weeks. She was upset but was very mature about it. She was expecting more than casual and I told her I am not there yet.

This dating thing is hard.

Personally, I only date one person at a time. I may talk to people I am interested in, but I think it shows a level of respect to pay attention to one person at a time. I guess it's because I would expect the same behavior from someone I was interested in. Of course I have a different definition of dating. I don't consider going out with someone once and not having a connection as dating that person. It's a single date but not dating. To me dating implies a mutual agreement to me exclusive, but I know this definition can be open to many interpretations. But if sex is involved between the two people, there should be nobody else involved on either side.

Great question, and great answers. Very vital information here. This is a whole new world for me that I am navigating cautiously. I need all the help I can get...

I wondered about this very question myself after having been out of the dating scene for pretty much 30 or so years, and so asked some friends of mine (both male and female) their opinions.
They almost unanimously said that if you hadn't had "the chat" with the person you were seeing and mutually decided that you were going be dating each other exclusively then you were fair game to be chatting to other people, because you were not really dating anyone yet. You were just going on random dates together to see whether there was anything between you worth pursuing to a dating level.
Shouldn't honesty always be the best policy anyway??

I have dated several people at a time and was completely honest about it to each person.
I polydated because my time was limited and my " dates" were usually also busy people with booming lives. If my schedule doesnt co-incide with his it could have been weeks before we could set something up and i wanted to get the most out of my time.
If someone else wanted to go somewhere with me I would do it.
Another problem for me dating just one person was - i d wait for our schedules to co-incide and then find out later on that we are really not compatible and I wasted all that time waiting for I dont know what.

Yet another reason - I used to he very impulsive when it came to sex, because i had a number of sexless relationships, including an 11 year old marriage. So, when I was single, i usually had FwB just for that, so I don't act impulsively with my dates i hardly knew.
FWB was safe, it was a friend.. i think it worked well and it was honest.

I agree with telling all your dates that you're dating several people, but then not being intimate, not even a kiss, with any one of those people, until you're sure you like that one person, and then be exclusive. It's for your sanity and emotional health as well as theirs. Being intimate with several people I would think would get emotionally confusing.