There are other ways to get money to support the child. Child support is court issued and mandatory. She could go to maintenance and get his checks garnished if need be.

It sounds to me like, even though they are exes, she still has feelings for him. And while that is normal, she needs to be honest about them. She will never stop seeing him in one context since they have a child together, but she needs to be straight forward about your relationship with her to her ex and she needs to look into legally getting money so she has no excuse to go on dates with him.

We all have a certain amount of healthy 'trust issues'. Some issues are from insecurity, some are derived from our gut instincts. Trust is Built based on Behaviors and it is Deserved. As they say, "It takes years to build trust, and only seconds to destroy it."

Facts are, she has an X and they have a daughter. What she does with this family connection is totally her business and her responsibility. She has her reasons for making these choices.

Cool thing here is, IMO, You have Two Choices: Accept that she is going to have some form of relationship (for the daughter, or the money) with the X,
Or You decide you can't handle it and walk away.
You can't change Her situation ~ you can only change Your situation.

Good Luck

Ok thanks

Is the only time she hangs out with him is when they are with their daughter?

If she hangs with him for other reasons than specifically for her daughter, and combined with your statement that "she hides the fact that they are dating you ", then you have reason to have trust issues.

Given that it is driving you crazy, you have a decision to make on if it is healthy to continue in this relationship.

This is a tough call. In more context this problem could be better examined. It is extremely rare to completely kill lingering feelings. There is history and a buried spark. Naturally, I would have a problem with this. But it is possible for them to be just friends. I used to not think so but it is possible. I would leave because I couldn't deal with this situation but if you love her then you need to stay.

OMG, I dated someone who did that to me!!!! GEEZ!!!! It wasn't child support, or his EX but it was his babysitter and he spent time with her for free babysitting.

(Wow, does that sound crappy...I am so glad I broke up with him.)

yeah, he would not tell this woman about me, because the baby sitter had a crush on him and he felt would not baby sit for free if she knew about me.

I wasn't alright with it. I ended it.

This is her EX? and child support? I am with Jolene - she doesn't have to do this - she can have it mandated by the courts and be done with it all.

Unless she is nonconfrontational and doesn't want to take that route?

I hear you, mystery...not a good deal. You have a right to be 'not good' with this.

L~

I love her but not sure if it is worth all the drama, and what she is doing makes me think she is still with him. Only been to her house one twice during the day so this stuff is bugging the crap out of me.

So, let me get this straight: In lieu of him paying her child support, she's raking him and making him pay for extravagant dates? She sounds like a real spiteful fluzey. Dates do not pay for her child.

What do you see in her again?