Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have been married for 22 years. It has been a battle since day 1. the past few years have been very hard emotionally and finacially. I really do not how much more I can handle. He is not a horrid guy., but there is nothing there.. he is a good father and loves his kids but the emotional support for them and myself is 0. We have a daughter who has emotional and mental issues and that has been very hard on our marriage,, we have been to counseling 2x and he refuses to do it again, saying that I just want things my way. he says he is the only one who sacrafices and makes any money and that if I would just do what he says we would have money and things would be ok,, he does not agree with taking our daughter to therapy and thinks we can fix her. he thinks that I am a bitch, there is no romance or love between us we argue a lot and it has been the same fights for the past 6 years. financially I cannot make it without him yes I work and make money but not enough to take care of 3 kids. I am depressed and yes I have an attitude cuz I am on the edge,, I have tried sitting down and talking to him in a way that is not blaming and threatening.. he gets mad and says fine he will just shut up and do it my way.. that everything is his fault and he will just go away,, I have never said that. I am just ready to bo done with it., my worry is messing my kids up. I do not want to fight with him over kids,, I want us to be able to get along and be there for them but he will make me out to be bad, he does that now, when I say no he says yes, when I tell them they need to do something he ask why? He tells them that I am the reason we never have any money., they inform me everytime we go grocery shoppping that dad is going to be mad. when they ask for something and I tell them they do nto need it they say well if you would not spend all the money we would have money for it., these are the games we play,, I am tired, I just want out, I want my kids to have their father and me both in their lives and for us to be there for them, I want to be able to smile again and enjoy life, I have went back home for a couple of visits to see my mom and dad. it has been very hard to come home again, I do not miss him and I do not hink about him, he comes up at night and the stress issues and tension are very high.. I like my job here and have a lot of friends and my kids are in a great school system and my daughter has great support from her school and has great support from the therapy place she goes to,, I do not want to take them from that. they need as much stability as possible, there dear mom is about ready to have a nervous breakdown, thanks for listening,,
-
My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Take ownership over your part in the demise of your marriage, let go of what your husband has done and is doing. If it's beyond repair and/or he is unwilling to hold up his end, there is nothing you can do, you can't glue a marriage together by yourself. Begin the steps you need to take to be a happier, healthier YOU. The rest will fall into place. (Just so you know, I am speaking from personal experience with ALL of this.)
Hugs to you!
Anyway, rather then focus so much on hoping and trying to work things out with your partner why not flip the coin and use that energy to work on things you know will make your life better. As suggested above check things out with a lawyer, also check into all available resources that your community offers that can be of great help to you which will include financial assistance, support, counseling, living accommodations and so on.
It is a lot of paperwork and phone calls but a heck of a lot better then living your life out in misery. Wishing you all the best and hoping happier days find you very soon:)