Graves' Disease Support Group
Graves-Basedow disease is a medical disorder that may manifest several different conditions including hyperthyroidism (over activity of thyroid hormone production), infiltrative exophthalmos (protruberance of one or both eyes and associated problems) and infiltrative dermopathy (a skin condition usually of the lower extremities). This disorder is the most common cause of...
I live with someone with Graves' disease and the disease has put me at dis-ease! I walk on thin ice over egg shells over broken glass most of the time; and now my overly cautious disposition is what triggers Graves Rage worst of all!!!
I've become so fake in trying to please her (because I'm starting to resent her), she's become a radar detector for my passive aggression - I want to help, but I NEED space, which she only allows if I've been kicked out of the house with an inanimate object hurling towards me. She spends most of the time looking at me with bugged out eyes asking what our plans are for the day, or, in the face of mild disappointment at my disposition, deciding that I'm total worm food. Then she's totally affectionate and all over me.
Our conversations about our difficulties are 100% devoted to how I'm responsible for all of our problems, and I can do nothing but sit in silence, apologize, and promise to change. Any mention of Graves and ... GRAVES RAGE!!!
We're a young couple and she's just had the radioactive iodine treatment. Since then she's threatened to leave me, has accused me of not having looked after her properly, that I embarrassed her in front of everyone ... OMG it just goes on and on.
I need some people to talk to! I'm totally alone, cut off from my family, living in rural Canada. Please, I just need someone to empathize!
I've become so fake in trying to please her (because I'm starting to resent her), she's become a radar detector for my passive aggression - I want to help, but I NEED space, which she only allows if I've been kicked out of the house with an inanimate object hurling towards me. She spends most of the time looking at me with bugged out eyes asking what our plans are for the day, or, in the face of mild disappointment at my disposition, deciding that I'm total worm food. Then she's totally affectionate and all over me.
Our conversations about our difficulties are 100% devoted to how I'm responsible for all of our problems, and I can do nothing but sit in silence, apologize, and promise to change. Any mention of Graves and ... GRAVES RAGE!!!
We're a young couple and she's just had the radioactive iodine treatment. Since then she's threatened to leave me, has accused me of not having looked after her properly, that I embarrassed her in front of everyone ... OMG it just goes on and on.
I need some people to talk to! I'm totally alone, cut off from my family, living in rural Canada. Please, I just need someone to empathize!
I dont understand what is there to " take care" of for a person with Graves, unless one had surgery. I believe that Graves can cause mood swings, it caused me a LOT of problems, but not to this degree.
If she is anxious maybe she needs some meds and counseling ?
I guess what i m trying to say is Graves or some other medical issues. may not be the cause, but a contributing factor to the behavioral problems.
From what I've read, people with hyperthyroidism, with the usual exceptions, DESTROY relationships. There's a high divorce rate, unexpected volatility, resentment, threats, and hairpin triggers that become unbearable. I lived with a partner for YEARS with this condition that only worsened until she took the radioactive iodine treatment. After the treatment she went INSANE and blamed everything in her life on me. I went to the internet for consolation and found voluminous testimony from husbands and wives of people with hyperthyroidism. Obviously you had a different experience.
I am sorry you are going through experiences with Graves' Rage and such. I remember those days well.
It is important to make sure one's thyroid levels - the Free T3, Free T4, and TSH are in the right places.
It's sounds like your significant other's thyroid levels are not in the 'right' places for her to feel her best there at.
She should get labs every six to eight weeks and work with getting her Free Ts to the mid to the upper third ranges of the lab reference ranges from the replacement meds she will need to take.
{{{hugs}}}
Originally posted by "Sassy" on the Thyroid Disease Support Forum - but I hope by reposting it, it can only help to get this info out to a wider audience.
Although this article makes references largely to Graves' Disease, I think it's useful for hypo/hashi's patients too. I hope some of you might find this helpful if your family and friends don't understand and are not very supportive.
Sassy
INFORMATION FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Thyroid imbalances of any kind--but most notably Graves' Disease--disturb normal function in every cell of the body. One of the aspects most noticeable to others is its effects on the brain and emotions. Thyroid hormone is now recognized as an essential brain chemical, necessary for proper function of other brain chemicals. Graves' Disease can turn even a mild-mannered person into someone who is often irritable, angry, emotionally unavailable or self-absorbed. Graves' patients don't necessarily understand that their feelings originate in out-of-whack brain chemistry, and sometimes blame others for their fragile emotional state.
It is quite impossible for someone who has never experienced the attack of Graves' Disease on the body and brain to understand how difficult it can be simply trying to function or get through each day. Relationships and careers can be damaged, sometimes permanently. People tend to view the erratic behavior of the Graves' patient as part of their personality, or in terms of character defects. Many people with Graves' have had it a long time before it was diagnosed, and a lot of damage may have been done already without anyone having a clue that an illness is responsible.
These factors contribute to the high divorce rate for people with Graves' Disease. Sometimes the patient leaves the marriage, believing the spouse is responsible for everything that's wrong; and other times the spouse can't endure the changed or difficult behavior--or lack of normal marital relations--and ends the relationship; perhaps taking it personally, not understanding that the problems are a manifestation of an illness.
To complicate matters, "thyroid problems" are viewed as minor by the general public, since for a time before sensitive tests became available, anyone who was a little heavy and tired may have been told they had a low thyroid condition. The "simple" explanation for thyroid imbalance refers only to the changes in metabolism of energy. Many people mistakenly believe that hyperthyroidism is a free ticket to weight loss, rather than a dangerous illness.
True thyroid problems are serious, and can be fatal when untreated. When treated, the journey to wellness is not necessarily fast or smooth. Since every cell and organ in the body is negatively affected, symptoms develop ranging from extreme fatigue and sleeping and digestive disturbances to nerve, joint, and muscle problems, as well as hair loss and fingernail breakage, and changes in the menstrual cycle, fertility, and sexual function. Miscarriage is the heartbreaking result for many pregnant women.
While the body will usually heal in time with proper treatment, permanent heart damage, osteoporosis, and permanent effects on the brain can occur when hyperthyroidism is left untreated too long. Extremely high levels of thyroid hormone can lead to thyroid storm, which is a medical emergency requiring extreme interventions to keep the patient alive.
Anxiety and depression are common, and because of the myriad of unexplained physical symptoms, the patient is likely to become focused on health issues. Friends and family probably have no idea what's involved, why the patient is behaving the way he or she is, or how to deal with it all. The result is that the thyroid patient may be treated as a hypochondriac or as emotionally "weak", and berated by others or left alone to deal with life at a time when support from others is needed most of all. The final whammy is when the spouse, one who has promised to love, honor, and cherish for better or worse etc. can't understand or be supportive either.
But there can't possibly be a more difficult task than giving support to a spouse who isn't necessarily sick in bed, doesn't look particularly ill, but very likely has stopped functioning in many areas of the marriage--often including household duties, parenting, social activities, and perhaps the bedroom as well. On top of that, how do you support someone who seems irritable or angry much of the time and might not even have any of the positive qualities left that attracted you in the first place?
It may not be easy, nor will the return to good health probably be as fast as anyone would like. You may already be tired of hearing the word "thyroid", but if you're not, you probably will be. It can take months or several years, depending on treatment method and individual response, for thyroid levels to be stabilized and for the healing process to begin; and it could be a few more years before full recovery takes place. It's possible that some psychological and cognitive effects will remain; especially if hyperthyroidism was severe or went untreated for a long time.
A few suggestions are that you learn everything you can about this disease, and recognize that your friend, child, sibling, parent, employee, or partner has a very serious condition and is not able to be who you need for awhile; perhaps even less than with most other serious illnesses, because of the changes in brain function and emotional stability to deal with, on top of the physical illness.
Spouses: this may be one of the greatest challenges your relationship ever faces. She or he may not understand right now that it's just as difficult for you in many ways as for him or her, but probably will some day. Your understanding and support through this will surely strengthen the bond between you.
It's important to take care of yourself too. Spend some time with safe people who can meet some of your needs for stability and friendship that may not be met in your relationship with the Graves' patient at this time. Talk to other people who are going through the same things, if possible.
If the patient is responsible for young children, help may be needed in many cases during some of the more difficult phases of the stabilization process. This is one of those times when friends and extended family can be of tremendous aid. If this kind of help isn't available, child care is an option worth considering.
Patients who are children themselves have a unique set of issues. I'll need some help before attempting to address those here--but school work, friendships, and family relationships are among them.
Work performance is usually negatively affected until stabilization of thyroid levels has been achieved for some time. Until then, expect impairments in endurance, productivity, concentration, memory, planning, complex problem solving, and interactions with others. While most of these problems improve significantly after treatment, a 2000 Dutch study concluded that even after successful treatment, over half of patients experience a continued lack of energy, and that over 1/3 are unable to do the same job they did before the hyperthyroidism.
If the person with Graves' is out of control emotionally, talk to him or her (during a calmer moment) about the effect this is having on you. Make it clear you understand the behavior is caused by the thyroid imbalance. Try to develop a mutually agreeable way for you to protect yourself when the outbursts happen. For some people it helps to get out of the house for awhile when necessary.
She or he can work on trying to recognize when the bad spells are coming on and give you warning so you can protect yourself until it passes, but it's not always possible. I could tell you not to take it personally, but that would be trivializing it---what could be more personal! It may take some time for you to completely forgive and trust again. Try to remember that this is temporary, and that it's an illness beyond his or her control.
Patients with the eye disease may withdraw socially because of self-consciousness about appearance. Protrusion of the eyeballs and lid retraction produce a facial expression that gives erroneous subconscious messages about the person's emotional state, producing misinterpretations of intent and meaning in interpersonal relations. This may be happening in family relationships as well, whether or not anyone is consciously aware of it. The patient's self-esteem may be damaged both from the disfigurement of the eye disease and from the changed interactions with others. An awareness of this on your part should help you avoid some of these errors, and help you be more supportive..
It may be necessary to seek counseling for both spouses, or for the entire family. Try to find someone who is experienced in treating patients and families dealing with chronic illness, especially thyroid imbalance
What you've posted is my story as well. I thought Ive been going crazy for years off and on. I only just recently realized that it must be the graves contributing to every condition after reading a "very" brief article somewhere that said often as you get older your quality of life changes (worsens) with the decease. So I figured this is what they meant. But what you're saying is so much more and exactly what Ive been experiencing.
I am 49 years old and I am now peri-menopausal. So what can I expect to happen now. I'm not having the hot flashes but my mind gets foggy, depressed severe confusion, short term memory loss, amazing hair loss, fear of a hopeless future. And one of the thing Ive noticed is the circulation in my ankles has always been really bad. I flunked the nerve/reflex test on those and no I do not have diabetes so what's up with that? This is just a few of the physcological and yes there are some more physical symptoms right now.
I was diagnosed with graves in 2006 received radioactive iodine in 2007 and 50 mcg of synthroid Shortly after I developed Severe PMDD with depression, paranoia and suicidal thoughts. I'd didn't know what it was at the time and the crazy thing was Every episode would always catch me off guard. I never knew why this was happening to me until like the 3rd day into my period. It was but for the grace of God I didn't act on those thoughts each time.
My Synthroid dose has never changed They just check my blood, tell me the counts are good they don't blame anything on the graves. There has been no consultation or answers given for the years of suffering and myriad of symptoms. Especially the severe depression. It has severely impacted my career, relationships and caused me to be withdrawn etc.
I have had brief periods of remission but because I have also had a few traumas and major stressors over the entire past 10 years, I know they have heightened this condition.
I am not nearly as successful as I should be in my career. Because even though I know I'm smart and I know my stuff and I love what I do, I find myself thinking maybe I'm just not good enough because I can't focus or process things efficiently or maintain the structure my business requires. I though maybe its just me and I'm just not one of those people who will make it. I I have almost lost everything because of this and the manic depressive episodes to say the least
I watch my diet excercise, meditate and work on staying healthy to help balance myself and it has help but entering the Peri-menapause stage seems to be a bit of an issue now.
Im trying to find natural remedies to help keep me balanced. I don't like drugs but I desperately need help with the depression. It comes in waves way too often now
So to help me out mentally (hormonally). My GYN prescribed Prempro (conjugated estrogens/medroxyprogesterone acetate tablets). 0.3mg / 1.5 mg.. I'm still taking the synthroid 50mcg. I take raw vitamin D 1000 mg. Natural liquid veggie vitamins, folic acid and 1000 mg of Vitamin C.
However, I have read the issues with taking projesterone and the potential side affects. Out of desperation, I only took my 1st does (30day trail) today. After having the prescription for 3 months. I kinda feel like a ginnie pig, cause I'm not sure if my GYN check any specific levels to conclude that this is the right dosage. But it appears to be the minimum dosage prescribed according to the information.
I'm looking into the primrose and flaxseed oils that I see is mentioned a lot in this chat. Do you have any suggestions?
ONCE AGAIN.... THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME BACK MY LIFE. THIS ARTICLE AND GROUP IS A BLESSING TO ME!!!! GOD BLESS US ALL... MAY WE GET WELL SOON AND BE WELL ALWAYS.
Thx
Though, I love the person, sometimes I have to wonder, just if medical research as gone too far, that perhaps, if we are going to be making excuses for people who have behavoral problems connected with medical problems, as to whether we are allowing them, perhaps to be a threat to us.
Yes, it stinks for sure. I have someone I know who has it, but, what does not help out the situation at all is when other family members make excuses for their behaviors, which can also compound behavioral problems, not nip the3m in the butt.
Though, I love the person, sometimes I have to wonder, just if medical research has gone too far, that perhaps, if we are going to be making excuses for people who have behavioral problems connected with medical problems, as to whether we are allowing them, perhaps to be a threat to us.
In other words, my thing here is that it's ok to support them and love them, but, what is not OK is when even people with this disease are engaging in abnormal behaviors, as part of their over exaggerations, or mood swings, can enable the behaviors to persist. I do have to say, that when these people do have to have medication adjusted, and especially, where hyper or hypothyroid diseases, also have psychological and psychiatric connotations connected with these diseases, that they are not being committed inpatient into a psychiatric facility in the4 first place during the adjustment of medication period to observe the psychiatric component of the disease, because, this, Graves disease is more than bones, bulged eyes, and lumps and bones. This disease also ventures into the brain, which houses the mind (Psyche). Thus, insurance companies should be required to cover inpatient hospitalization for people with thyroid problems, where it also affects the mind, as well as the body. This should take place when medications need to be adjusted, and doctors in this instance should be required by law to admit someone with Graves disease or other thyroid problems, to a psychiatric facility for observation during the adjusting of medications. With what is taking place in the world today, and the advancement in medical technology for the disease, with no real cure, but, only breakthroughs, Would this by common sense mean to you that the law needs to catch up to it and also hold those who make excuses for those people who engage in dangerous behaviors, where we are talking about thyroid problems and psychiatric issues being tied together, also accountable for any collateral consequences that may happen from the sufferer's behavior, under some form of scheme of law.
Put this way. if you were a mother or a father of someone with graves disease, but, the person with the graves disease cares for you by driving for you and with you in the vehicle. Now, let's say they are in a mood swing episode, you, the person being driven is very elderly and they are driving you to and from a holiday gathering, and it's 20 degrees outside, and you need heat on in the car or it's 90 degrees outside and you need air conditioning, however, the person driving you who is having a mood swing episode, does not want air conditioning or heat on, but, on the other hand, you the elderly person needs it because of problems with your own body.