I said no. Actually what I told my son is if he needed me to take him and the baby I would BUT the mother would not be welcome and I would not take the baby alone. The baby is with the gf's mother and two of her other children. Can you imagine what it is going to like for the 7 year old who is attached to the baby if Mom takes her home but not him?

At this point in our lives we wouldn't take another baby no matter what. Taking the baby with one bio would be stressful enough - and there's no guarantee that said bio would stick around.

Thank God Pinky made one good decision in her life, to get her tubes tied after the third. I think that was the only time in her entire life that she was thinking clearly.

I paid my daughter $1000 to get her tubes tied knowing she would buy drugs with it. I didn't care, I was saving future children from abortion (her method of birth control) or a life of hell with her and saving myself from raising another child. I would raise another (she has a third child that is being raised by paternal grandmother that I keep often) but so glad I don't have to raise a baby!

I was asked in April to take my 6 year old granddaughter who is being raised by her paternal aunt. I have joint legal custody of her and see her every other weekend . I am raising her sister so the 2 girls are together some. The aunt was having issues and social services was called. I told them I was doing all I could with my 10 year old and my other daughter's 18 year old who I raised (she is in college now, success story). I have also helped raise another who is grown and on her own. Other arrangements were made and the aunt worked through her problems and child is with her and I still get her every other weekend. It hurt to tell them "no" but I am tired and need to live a little myself. My daughters have 7 kids between them and I have helped raise or support all of them. My oldest daughter has decided to be super mom to her youngest two, but she threw away the oldest two like trash and they came to me, at 12 and 15. I hope she doesn't get tired of the little ones when they are teenagers. No more.

I would not. I have a nine year old son and custody of my 7 year old step-granddaughter. She has a 5 year old sister that is being raised by her father and we keep them in touch. If my step-daughter has another, I would hope we could arrange visitation with whomever will raise the child. Just this morning when I woke up, both kids had eaten, brushed their teeth, dressed and had on their backpacks and ready for camp! I love when they are independent. Babies are cute, but I can't do that again.

I'm raising my 6 year old grandson, since 1 year old. My daughter is pregnant again and due in August. I say no won't raise another child, but now my daughter has been taking my gs for over nights and he is getting really attached to Mom and the idea of little sister. If things don't work out with this baby my gs will be broken hearted, but i can't raise another child i don't want to and if i did it would be out of obligation not my desire to do it. I have said if it comes to that again we will visit the baby often and get some counselling because i just can't do it again. My gs has ADHD and behavioural issues, we have him on the right meds now and hes doing wonderfully, but this new baby will have issues to daughter is on methadone and her and babys dad both have mental health issues and addiction issues. So i would be getting another child who will also most likely have an attachment disorder awell. This is what you have to look at most of these children will come with their own set of needs, unless we raise them from birth.

3 years ago, I said I'd not raise another. I meant it to my core. Then I was faced with a 3 year old subjected to fighting off cochroaches to eat, being babysat by yet another boyfriend, and I just couldn't stand it. I took her during the week at first, and had to put foot down and say get rid of bf, as I can't supporting u , won't pay light bill for u and deadbeat bf , and when she wouldn't give him up and became homeless I took gd 7 days a week and finally got custody. Without the custody I was subjected to her temper, cursing me out and taking gd to unsavory places at her whim.
If dss were to take her next baby I could be ok with that. Unfortunately , her neglect is hard to prove and mood swings and verbal tirades and possible moving bf to bf is not enough for dss involvement.
What I couldn't do is look at a neglected bounced around child and refuse to take him in, I hope it never comes to that , but God will help me cope if it does .

I really do think most of us would have to actually be faced with the exact scenario before we could make a definite choice..........notice I didn't say all. I know that some know one way or the other beyond the shadow of a doubt. I can think of situations where I might not be able to live with myself saying no, and I can think of situations where I could let another baby go if the circumstances were "right". Finances would always have to be a priority when making a decision. Day care is outrageous and for those saying "yes" without the monetary help of DCFS, that is a huge financial burden to take on, especially in this economy and in our later years when we need to be taking our retirements very seriously. Like all of you, I pray I'm not faced with this again so I won't have to make the gut wrenching decision one way or the other.

Strange you should ask....
We have had my husband's oldest grand daughter since she was like 4 months old basically. We did the whole SRS reuniting the mom & daughter thing,etc but it didn't work as we now have permanent legal guardianship of her. She turned 7 in August.

About 2 years ago, the younger two half siblings of this gd were pulled away from the mother ( hubby's oldest daughter) and placed into protective custody and then later into foster care. We talked about taking them on but we both agreed, we could not do it plus i did not want to do it either.

Fast forward, my son brings home his newborn baby girl to our home. He & his current gf at the time take care of her for the most part. They start fighting a LOT and things get ugly. Finally the middle of Oct. 2013 they split up and we put them both out of the house. Son leaves his 6 month old daughter with me for safe keeping until he can get his act together. Baby girl is now 14 months and still living with us. Son is trying to get his act together but isn't ready to take his daughter on full time. He is talking about trying to take her on weekends to start and see how that goes for awhile but he isn't to that point yet.

So...would I take on another baby. Not really but when it is your first blood grand child, saying NO is hard to do. Hubby's youngest daughter is expecting her first baby in Oct. Who knows what is going to happen there? Son's ex gf is due about any day with his child. She is living with her parents for the time being but has talked about moving back up this way closer.

I am 56 yrs old with back issues, suffered pulmonary embolisms in May 2013, work part time for the local school district and currently raising a 6 yr old grand daughter and a 14 mo old grand daughter. My hubby is now an OTR truck driver. Life is not at all what I would have dreamed of or had hoped for at this stage in life.

I know right now, I can not physically take on any more grand kids....i just can't do it. These two are testing grandma to the limits.
Everyone has to know their limits and stick to them for everyone's sake!

Depending on the situation, I would. However, I would do it different. IF I adopted the child, they would maintain their birth name and they would know me as Grandma. Also, they would know why we were raising them, not in a mean way.

After some bumps, our adoption was final last Aug. but Bug has called me Mommy from the minute he could talk, we TRIED and tried to change it. We chose to change PapPaw to Daddy when we thought the first filing was just about done (3 years ago) a decision I regret.

I spend too much time wondering and worrying about if Bug hears the wrong thing or trying to explain family that wouldn't be family if we were biologically ours. I don't spend as much time as I used to because whatever is meant to be will be.

I do NOT want to have the adoption conversation, I will but i honesty wish I didn't have to do so.

When this thread was first posted I didn't think I had to concern myself with it. But now I do...I haven't been on here much recently...as a refresher, I have had my 7 year old granddaughter since birth for the most part. My DD is a drug addict and probably mentally ill. Last October I adopted my granddaughter because, even though I lost some financial aid, I never have to worry about her being taken away. Also, on the advice of GD's therapist, GD has not seen or talked to DD since then. Now, through the grapevine I have learned that DD is pregnant again (at 41), homeless and using drugs hard. I cannot take this child. I am 65 and would be in my 80's before it graduated high school. If DD somehow keeps child, I will never be able to be a part of it's life as I couldn't stand to see what she does to and with him/her and not be able to help. It's doubtful DD will give it up for adoption. Again the father is unknown as that is how she pays for her drugs. And I don't want GD to know about the child. How could I explain to her that DD kept that child and I did everything I could and did to keep GD in my custody. I just hate this. DD uses up and destroys everyone involved with her. And I have little reserve to deal with any of it.

Mayana, id say there is a good chance, if the pregnancy doesn't miscarry, that your daughter won't be leaving the hospital with her baby. If she & baby are positive for drugs, the state will step in.

I would have thought DCF would step in, but that was before we were ever involved in this crazy life. 4 years ago our gd was born and both she and mother tested positive for opiates, heroin. Nobody in either family knew. DCF was called in, parents said they would get outpatient treatment, baby went home with them, case closed, no followup. Fast forward 3 years, I read all the hosp paperwork when we got custody of gd last year (ongoing drug abuse my both parents and poor parenting in midst of leukemia). Appalled that DCF did not follow up.

Jan and I are both in the same state. In my case they did step in and take my third granddaughter before she left the hospital. As far as I know neither my son or his GF or the baby tested positive for drugs BUT both were known to DCF. My son due to the fact his xWife was about to lose to two girls due to mental and drug issues. The GF due to the fact she had lost custody of 4 of her kids. The first child was voluntary, the next three was due to a drug bust in her apartment. She did not do time but then current boyfriend/baby daddy did. Her two little girls were place up for adoption and the new baby was place with her mother.

They are working with DCF to get the baby back taking classes and drug testing and lieing to DCF about their contact with the baby. They are suppose to see the baby on visitations set by DCF but the GF is living at her Mom's taking care of the baby. Right now they should get her back in Sept if they do not lose the appartment for not paying the rent. Right now all three phones are shut off due to not paying the bills.

I have no contact with this baby. I have seen her 3 times in 8 month for a total of 90 minutes and have held her for less then 5 minutes.

If these grandchildren inherit all these stupid genes from their parents they do not stand a chance in life.

My daughter has borderline personality disorder and feigns pregnancy every month. Drives me crazy. And the push and pull of her relationship with her 20 month old son ranges from her saying "my precious baby boy" to "you are the reason I dont have a boyfriend" this takes her from mother of the year to "Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy" In toddler language translation; "why aren't you paying attention to me instead of your cell phone" While glued to the cell phone, she could be caught up in typical 20 yo drama with friends or aranging her next date to have random sex. Can't kick her out. Can't live like this. I thought this pregnancy 20 months ago was our ticket to say "you need to live with your bf. Then I realized what condidtions she would live in and the developing baby as well. Not withstanding the fact that her mental illness means she would value and devalue her bf within a half hour period creating a screaming tyrade not healthy for a child at any age.. So here we are. I live in fear of another baby and and my willingness to be strong enough to say "you need to make an adoption plan".