We've been considering adoption, mostly because we'll have the kids until they're 18 anyway and NOTHING would change in their lives except on paper. Also, because there are Social Security benefits for natural and adopted children, and the way they eat we could use them! LOL

Pinky has said she'd agree to it one day, then the next day she won't. But we just haven't had a chance to contact a lawyer yet, because we've heard it could cost around $5,000. More if Pinky fights us.

I think it's the smartest thing to do, because chances are overwhelming that the bios won't clean up their acts enough to be good parents again. And even if they do, our grandchildren's lifestyles, security, etc. would go downhill since the bios still won't know what they're doing, even if they get straight.

If the kids are old enough they may get attitudes. Our three aren't sure what they want, either, and if adoption freaks them out too much it may not be a good idea. Remember - even though nothing changes we would literally be taking their "parents" from them.

We adopted our gs to keep the crazies away. The bio dad (mom, our daughter deceased) sent a letter through his lawyer that we could adopt and if his son wanted to look him up when he turned 18, fine, as long as we didn't ask for any money, Ha! The court ordered him to pay $35 a month and he didn't do that. The court ordered him to carry medical insurance on gs but when I sent him bills, he filed and had the money sent to him. I had to pay out of pocket. We all have our little aggravations with bios and adoption does take that away. Crazy stepmom caused all sorts of hystrionics in court. They filed bankruptcy so lawyers w/not be paid. We had to sell our house and investments to pay lawyers. No regrets though. We have a wonderful gs, now legally our son. Adoption gave him a sense of security also. I have been to seminars on guardianship and there is nothing secure about it. The judges in Chicago spoke at one seminar and said they always find in favor of bio parents. All this being said, no state in the union has determined what a fit or unfit parent is making it almost impossible to win w/o parent consent. I have a theory that the parents are money driven. If you make it sound like you will be saving them money, they might just go along with it. They don't really care about the kids but they all seem to know that the state will give them money to raise the kids. Even though you are no long under DCFS you should be able to speak to someone regarding your chances of adopting. If they reopen your case they may be able to assist in paying for adoption. Tell the parents if they give up parent rights you won't sue them for child support for the past what ever years you have been taking care of gc. Might scare them into cooperating!

We adopted our 3 yr old gs last week, and his 10 yr old sister 3 years earlier. She came to us at age 5. We also have their year and a half old brother. My daughter has a chance to get the youngest back if she can get her act together but I'm not holding my breath. DCFS (IL) provided our lawyer and also medical coverage for the kids. We also get a significant bump in soc. sec. until kids are 18. We couldn't love the kids any more than we do, but it is challenging.

I have adopted my grandson, I started the process 2 years ago myself but when we had to leave the state the adoption stalled. This August we officially completed the adoption without contest from either parent. Total cost was just about $1000, that was the lawyer, filing fees, home study, background check and health checks.

We had custody from 2 months after his birth. After his first birthday, his bio-dad checked out, although he lived and worked less than 6 blocks he didn't attempt to see him for almost a year. At that time, we threatened adoption and both parents said they thought that was best.

I spent a great deal of time being angry and sad but the other day I had a shock when I suddenly 'remember' I was his Grandma.

We chose to follow through on the adoption because we wanted him to know that somebody WANTED him and chose to put him and his needs first.

I'm happy to say or answer more but I didn't want to ramble, I'm on cold meds right now and a little foggy.