Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Ahhh I am in this real life situation as we speak!! (see post "Angry"
Besides the 7 year old grandson we are raising, ...
I have 2 granddaughters, (well in a convoluted sort of way...) my oldest is actually my sisters son. He is 36.Was with me since he was 11. He is divorced, but has 2 kids 12 and 15. I have the 12 year old as of this week, for at least a month..and other gramma has the 15 year old.We actually have been involved in helping with these kids since infants. But never physical custody. (15 year old is so angry with life that she will kill her sister or someone else, I swear) Mom left them when youngest was 2. She needed to "find her self" and left my son holding the bag. Her family (she was raised by grandma) supports her crap. 7 years later she re appears and is all fixed. NOT> she is currently in jail for 3 dui's but thats okay 80 days in jail will cure her methadone and suboxone problem right? Remote chance, maybe. Another story. Meanwhile dad falls apart and left for 6 month rehab for alcohol. Mom never has been able to hold a job,only for a few months at a time, and since mom/dad/grandparents have money she lives in their beach house,for free,utilities included, grandpa/ dad owns a car lot so she wrecks a car gets a car.
You get the picture?
Now I get a packet of stuff for kids, and in it is the food card. 500$ worth for a month. Mom, from jail dictates to her "mom" to get the card and go get food for her, so when she is out of jail she has a stockpile.
I feel, if, it is legal to do so, the money should go directly to the kids. 1/2 for each household. Other grandma mom wants me to turn it over and has it all justified.
I don't want to risk using it illegally. I am thinking to call the # on back of card and ask what to do.
I imagine that they will tell me it is no good. Fine by me. Of course we could use it to supplement but I won't do it if it is illegal.
Other grandma who has enabled and created this self centered adult, (and a few others) wants that card.
Mother turned the card over to the dad right before she went to jail last month which he did use towards the kids, before he went to rehab.
Now I have it
Call the # ?
Cut it up?
Turn it over to other grandmother and let her wrestle with her own version of a conscience?
Besides the 7 year old grandson we are raising, ...
I have 2 granddaughters, (well in a convoluted sort of way...) my oldest is actually my sisters son. He is 36.Was with me since he was 11. He is divorced, but has 2 kids 12 and 15. I have the 12 year old as of this week, for at least a month..and other gramma has the 15 year old.We actually have been involved in helping with these kids since infants. But never physical custody. (15 year old is so angry with life that she will kill her sister or someone else, I swear) Mom left them when youngest was 2. She needed to "find her self" and left my son holding the bag. Her family (she was raised by grandma) supports her crap. 7 years later she re appears and is all fixed. NOT> she is currently in jail for 3 dui's but thats okay 80 days in jail will cure her methadone and suboxone problem right? Remote chance, maybe. Another story. Meanwhile dad falls apart and left for 6 month rehab for alcohol. Mom never has been able to hold a job,only for a few months at a time, and since mom/dad/grandparents have money she lives in their beach house,for free,utilities included, grandpa/ dad owns a car lot so she wrecks a car gets a car.
You get the picture?
Now I get a packet of stuff for kids, and in it is the food card. 500$ worth for a month. Mom, from jail dictates to her "mom" to get the card and go get food for her, so when she is out of jail she has a stockpile.
I feel, if, it is legal to do so, the money should go directly to the kids. 1/2 for each household. Other grandma mom wants me to turn it over and has it all justified.
I don't want to risk using it illegally. I am thinking to call the # on back of card and ask what to do.
I imagine that they will tell me it is no good. Fine by me. Of course we could use it to supplement but I won't do it if it is illegal.
Other grandma who has enabled and created this self centered adult, (and a few others) wants that card.
Mother turned the card over to the dad right before she went to jail last month which he did use towards the kids, before he went to rehab.
Now I have it
Call the # ?
Cut it up?
Turn it over to other grandmother and let her wrestle with her own version of a conscience?
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
When I got laid off, I had 60 days "Warn Act" pay -- total salary and benefits because they considered it "paid leave of absence" until my official final day. I assumed i would not be able to collect unemployment until that ended. I called the number -- I was able to collect.
A long way of saying you never know what is permitted! If they tell you to use it for the kids' food, you'll be soooo relieved. If they tell you to give it to her, you can give them a piece of your mind -- and YOUR conscience will be clear!
There is nothing illegal about that.
If they gave you the card and pin number, use it. You don't even have to sign anything.
Bailibird,
Also, the card gets automatically deposited to, and you don't lose what you don't spend. Like rollover minutes.
Therefore,it would make no sense to "get the card so you can stock pile food" Since, not using the card would simply accumulate the amounts.
If you get the card, use it. If the adult owner of the card wants to, they can call and discontinue it and have a new one issued. Until you get LEGALcustody of the kids, you can use the card on the kids. After you have LEGAL custody, the kids shouldn't be on bios "household"
I don't get food stamps for grandson , as he is in my custody and I make too much. However, gd is in moms custody, dss is aware baby is staying with me while mom works on treatment plan. Thus they won't take it to court, so ddmom gets to stay eligible for the welfare money, food stamps, and 2 br housing. If she loses custody, she would loose the benefits, and I wouldn't qualify for them anyway. DDmom lets me use the card to get 100 a month for granddaughter. I don't feel bad about throwing some of my groceries in the cart, as food stamps don't pay for the diapers in the cart. After everything rings up, and they process the card, they tell me how much cash to add for non food items.
BTW, I am ready to take an the ingrate bios, round them up and send them to an island slated for use as an atomic testing site.
What I would LOVE to do, is report it as fraud then, go ahead and smile and give the card to the other grandma. Then she could go to the store and rack up 500$ and then at the cash register and get declined. OH, I have a devilish side.
I will keep you posted. Keep sending ideas please.
Anyway I painted the scenario to the gentleman who took my call.
He said to use a food card other than the authorized person is fraud.
Each grandparent could apply for kids. If other grandma wants to stock pile food, fraud as well.
I said well here I am with a card and pin # and why don't you implement required ID at cash register?
His answer? "Well it is not a perfect system."
There you go folks, our money being well spent.
I am handing off card to other gramma and telling her it is fraud, She can do what she wants.
My conscience is clear.