I think part of this is normal little girl behavior. I remember my teacher telling my mother I was "little miss bossy" in 3rd grade.

I would probably ask her to pull me aside and tell me privately rather than in front of a bunch of people, for starters. Then all you can really do is try to help her understand what is imperative to tell and what sorts of things really aren't serious enough to warrant bringing up. It's probably a stage of development and I'm sure with your help, she will figure it out.

You might want to start talking to her about what it means to be "judgmental". You also might check your local children's library for some resources - books for yourself and for her.

Good luck!!!!

I concur with GMaWilli - I think she had some good thoughts.

I especially was thinking along the lines of really stressing that because you are mom/daughter, that is a special relationship, and what you share with each other 1) stays with each other(under normal circumstances) and does not go any further unless the other person knows that, and 2) that talking to your mom is "different" than talking to friends or classmates or even teachers, sometimes. That sharing at home, in the privacy of your house is different than telling whoever happens to be there.

I think I would also encourage her to come and talk to you before she shares what someone has done wrong with other people, in order to train her as to what is the type of thing that needs passing on and what is not.

I agree, too, that this is probably pretty normal and just part of growing up and learning.

I know when my kids were growing up I made the mistake of sometimes talking to friends about things that they brought to me, and they really hated that. And they were right. I shouldn't have done that. I have learned that what happens in the home stays in the home. I think that had the opposite effect of them not wanting to talk to me.

You are blessed that she is not afraid to share with you and I think that you should continue to encourage her to share - IMO - too much is far better than too little. Sharing too much at least gives you opportunities for training her. :) Personally, I think it is a good thing.

Thanks you both for taking the time to give me these ideas and the encouragement. I have never been the bossy type, but more the type to try and make people get along and "be nice." This too can get off balance. The world needs leaders and peacemakers to be in balance. While working on myself and still teaching virtues and also relaxing, realizing that part of this is a stage, I have a fresh perspective on this. There are so many issues we grands have that keep popping up, I pray the Serenity prayer and am able to sort out with God's help and yours, the wisdom to know the difference and keep on with thanksgiving. Scutterbug

You know, what's so funny in looking back on that time in my childhood..............My teacher perceived me as being bossy, when I was probably trying to keep the kids from getting n trouble. Now, as an adult, my problem has been not being nearly bossy enough, which led to some serious issues with my kids. We all live & learn and I can look back now & see where I made some major mistakes that contributed to my kids' ending up the way they have. Trying really hard to be a lot SMARTER in my parenting of my GS. There is something to be said about being a more "mature" parent. My GS doesn't get away with NEAR what my kids did!!! Small example........he was dumping his bubbles on the front porch yesterday and I told him to stop and he said we would have to get new ones. I said, "No, you don't get new toys or new bubbles because you break the ones you have or don't take care of the ones you have." AND I will stick by that rule. When my kids were growing up, I let that pouty lip and crying manipulate me. Not with this little guy.

Yea, we have to look back and learn and still laugh. I had 4 brothers, then sons and husband! Now I have this little girl, who brings us so much delight, yet part of her seems to struggle with "since I can't fix everyone or anyone I'd just like to disappear inside nonnie and poppies arms for the rest of my life - it would be so much easier." Maybe we are tougher on them because we are older and want them to have the inner strength to live a great life when we are gone. I know I wasn't thinking about my mortality as much when I was raising my boys.

Telling and tattling are hard to tell apart sometimes. When I was a classroom teacher I always told my kids that they are only in charge of themselves and that is a big enough job. I also said that telling is when someone is doing something dangerous to themselves or others. Sometimes i would say-that sounds like a kid problem not a teacher problem and send the participants out to the hall to talk over their issue and then report back. My favorite saying-myob-mind your own business. Maybe you can encourage her to discuss these infractions in private with you alone which makes it telling and not tattling so relationships with peers are not damaged.

What great advice! I was actually raised that way (hellooo). Actually more strict - there was zero tolerance for tattling and I guess some unspoken message came through that that included telling. I don't remember sharing much of anything with my mom until we both were adults. Hmm. Will have to think about that now. Anyway, I really think all of this will be very helpful. Thanks