Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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grandmama1 09/29/2012

My 13 mo. GS bio mom (my daughter) was to come visit her son today and spend the entire day with him. This is part of the "re-unification" plan between her and Department of Human Services.
Of course she didn't show up! Was I surprised? HA! This just seems to be par for the coarse for her these days.
Nevermind the fact that my husband and I had made plans to go out to dinner with friends. It's rare we go anyplace that is not "baby friendly" anymore. Daughter was well aware of it. But she "overslept".
She did the same thing over the Labor Day weekend. She was to come visit her son while we went to a bbq. She never showed up and we ended up taking baby with us.
I'm just so sick of dealing with her and her lame excuses. If she doesn't want to see this child, just say so! I told her that I am finished with her and that if and when she decides to visit her son that she can make arrangements through DHS. I'm not sure that's even an option, but I was ticked off and it sounded good at the time.
However, I will certainly let DHS know how many visits she has cancelled or just blown off. I have been keeping a journal of her contact with baby.
Whew! I feel better now. Thanks for listening :)

mynanny4 09/29/2012

I know just how you feel. I had a chance to go to a BBQ with my husband last night but the gc bio's wanted to come for a visit. So as usual I sent my husband alone and stayed and waited for them to come. Of course they did not show up. Like you I am getting so tired of their little games. I think they just like to screw with our lives even more than they already have.

deleted_user 09/29/2012

I understand. While my friends are enjoying their lives without kids, I am raising another child and have to try to get a babysitter to go places that aren't kid friendly. Most of my friends stopped asking me to go places a long time ago. I just accepted it and end up watching my other grandkids more. I have decided that's what God has planned for me right now. Sometimes, I get mad or down about it but it is what it is. I had to give up on my son taking his daughter about a year ago. At least he's been faithful with helping financially so far. At this point if my son took her for a visit now I would just worry about her. It just breaks my heart at how many parents can just give their children up. But thank God for Grandparents!!

grandmama1 09/29/2012

I guess I will be checking out babysitters. It just doesn't seem fair that we should have to pay for a sitter when bio mom does absolutely nothing day in and day out. If it were my child I would be moving heaven and earth to see him.

grandmama1 09/29/2012

Joslyn- I know how you feel. Most of my friends have stopped asking me to do anything with them as well. I remember when hubby & I could take off for a weekend. Those days are over. It's just so hard to come to grips with the fact that we have a baby now. I gripe & complain about things but one look into that sweet baby's eyes and I know where my heart is :)

mayanana 09/29/2012

I've had a hard time getting babysitters...teenagers all have so many things to do these days they're not available often. Then I discovered drop-in daycare centers. They've been a lifesaver even though they are somewhat pricey. And I actually feel more comfortable with a daycare center than an individual sitter. They're open from 7:30 am to 11 pm in my area and you can leave them from 1 up to 7 hours. My GD looks forward to going so I can still make doctor appointments without having her along and can go out to dinner with my Friday dinner group.

horsepad 09/30/2012

I have never heard of drop in daycare center. I wish I had that option. I never counted on daughter showing up for visit. Almost always a "no show". I never told grandchildren when she said she was coming because of the disappointment when she never showed. If they're unwilling to raise them, support them, show any interest in their children why would they visit them? I too have no life and now that I am a widow no one at home either. Iwish I could catch a break once in awhile but then again as a widowed middle aged women whose friends are all married what would I do with a "night out" anyway? Cry in my loneliness?

mommagain 10/01/2012

I deal with GS bio mom (our DD) all the time doing that...I have started not telling him she is coming and having a back up plan...

BG's bio mom doesn't even bother...

for a few years now I have thought about opening a date night child care center... I even went as far as to check with CPS on the rules and guide lines...

I was thinking about having it on Friday and Saturday night form like 6-10.. you make an appointment for what night you want... bring the kiddos with a sleeping bag, pillow, and dinner, after we eat we brush our teeth, go potty, roll out our sleeping bags, color and work puzzles, we then pop popcorn and watch a movie... the cost would be like 10-15 for a night... I would pay it for a night off.

but that is just a thought.

deleted_user 10/03/2012

I guarnatee you that she is still getting high. Be very careful it is very easy to manipulate the system..

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