Will she be supervised by your husband if you go out or will she be unsupervised with the kids at your house. I for one wouldnt let my daughter be unsupervised in my house even if the kids werent there. Although there is not much of value left, she still likes to help herself to stupid things..Mixing bowl (only 1 of the set) corkscrew, shower curtain valance, stupid stuff.

Thankfully, the one thing Pinky has never done is steal from us. I don't know how she has managed that over the years, but something holds her back.

I sure hope she isn't using, but my husband will know in a heartbeat.

That's one thing that will never happen again here. If and when DCS allows DD to have supervised visits it wil not be in my home. She also helps herself to anything of mine she wants. And she helps herself to anything in stores she wants. Surprised she doesn't have more shoplifting charges. I don't understand what it is in their thinking that makes that OK. At least your husband can tell when she's using...that's one thing I've never been sure of...I guess she's been on them so long it's hard to tell normal behavior from drugged behavior.

Mayanana, you're right. If Pinky's "up" I think she's using. If she's "down" I think she's using. When she was really straight last summer she was different - I don't know how to explain it, but I could tell she wasn't high. But I still have trouble figuring it out. Maybe that's because she uses pills, and being high isn't as obvious as, say, meth or even alcohol.

I feel for you Sara, what a challenge for you. I can relate because one of my stepdaughter's is someone who I can see plays my husband and I have to keep my mouth shut. However; like you in the beginning I got caught up in making sure he kept up with his relationship with them. I did of course get burnt from doing that and decided "no more" why do I need to make sure they have a relationship? He doesn't have to help me keep up with my relationship with my kids from a different marriage! Either way I am the one who gets blamed for his relationship with his two daughters from his 1st marriage! Actually; I was the one who did make him make time for them thoughout the years because; I do care about them and know how important it is that they have a relationship with their dad.

We haven't seen them for over a year, by their choice...not sure why except I think my husband put his foot down on the manipulation they would try on him, you know make him feel guilty and they get money, etc...I figured that I will always get blamed even thou their mother left my husband for another man who then left her and she was unhappy; then use the girls to mess with us. When his girls were young they loved coming to visit us and mom hated that so she would find ways to get them to stop and my husband didn't want to make the girls to come....that was the start of all of his problems with his girls. I believed he needed to make sure they came even if it meant him going and forcing them; it was his right.

So, now we don't see them and I still feel bad about it and I keep reminding myself that it has nothing to do with me.

Best of luck...I know that you have the skills to handle all the arrows that will be shooting at you when she comes back into your home...

I sould be so worried to leave mine alone with a bio...

Pinky sounds like my daughter she puts on a phoney act with my gs being overly excited about everything he says, hes 3 yrs. She calls him her mockey or mockadoo. That grates on my nerves, like nails over a chaulk board. Its so over the top, she is bipolar. Shes out of jail now and all about rehab and changing her live around, time will tell.

Makes me think of that song my Amy Winehouse about rehab, i want to giggle, not so funny that Amy died, but just the irony of her really wanting to go to rehab, lol. As i said time will tell. I'm taking my gs to McDonald's to see his mom, my dd tonight, and i will have to listen to her syrup sweetness with him, garanteed it would'nt be that sweet if she had to deal with a hyper kid all the time like i do.

I hope he really can see if she is using again if it starts. Doesn't he have to work some weekends though? I seem to remember when she got ordered from the house due to the relapse before he was at work and you had to deal with her BS by yourself with the kids.

I really hope that she sticks to being clean this time. Only time will tell.

Yeah, Eclectic, I'm the lucky one who's home with her on weekends :-( She really does remind me of Kim Bauer from "24." But my husband gets home early enough in the afternoon to see what she's like, and he can spot her high a mile away. I've downloaded a few good books, though, so maybe I can hide out in another room. LOL

Good luck Sara. I hope it all works out for you. Only time will tell how long she will remain "straight" this time. While I hope and pray that she is at least straight during for her visits, I tend to believe that if she is back on the wagon, it won't be too long before she barrels off of it again.

Good luck! I hate baby talk too.

I notice you say "Your husband decided". Are you in agreement? It really should be a joint decision - perhaps even more of YOUR decision since you are the one spending most of your time making sure her being there works out. I wonder if your husband knows what an awesome wife he has. (not picking on your hubby; just saying!!)

GMa, I'm so conflicted I let him make the decisions. On one hand I'd be thrilled if I never saw Pinky again, and I really don't care what the children want -- they could always see her when they're 18 HAHAHA.

But on the other hand we've had three kids now nonstop for the past three or four weeks (or is it five?) and I am BURNED OUT! Just the constant "Mom-Mom!" like baby birds. Especially on weekends, when my husband's at work I can't do anything because I'm hounding them to do their chores, practicing school drills, breaking up arguments, yada-yada. I'm too TOLD FOR THIS!!! YAAAAAA!

But then there's always the "other hand" -- "who wants lunchy-poo?" And "Mommy brought youse all a present-poo!" AAAAAAAA!

I meant "A prezzy-poo." Even worse!