Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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SaraBT 02/18/2015

We have our adoption hearing date on April 10. Everything has to go through an official adoption agency. Late in January they sent us a 1" thick ream of forms to fill out. They want to know EVERYTHING!

We had to be fingerprinted, get a police background check. They want our driver abstracts. They want official child abuse background checks for every state we've ever lived in. Medical records. Tax returns. Marriage certificates. They even want PET VACCINATION RECORDS! And a snapshot of us all.

We have to get it all done immediately so the agency can do the home visit and make the hearing deadline. We've never been so overwhelmed in our lives. Making copies, filling out endless paperwork for THREE kids. And on top of that we get to pay $1200 for all of our effort - PLUS the cost of the drivers abstracts, fingerprinting, background checks, etc.

And this is for three kids who have lived with us for 10 years. I can't imagine how awful it would be for someone who is adopting a stranger's child.

So far we're into the lawyer for $2,000, plus the home study, plus the lawyer's costs at the hearing.

The moment that packet goes into the post office I'm gonna open a HUGE bottle of wine. LOL!

grammy22 02/20/2015

Sara, Will Pinky really be out of you life? I get the impression your husband will not be pushing her away.

SaraBT 02/21/2015

I'm hoping that he'll cut her loose once it's official. She's here this weekend - sleeping, sitting on the sofa texting (probably lining up her escort clients) and not interacting with the kids at all. I'm sure she's coming down off something. I'm starting to dread weekends because she wants to come down every weekend again. I just hope my husband is being nice to her so she won't cause trouble at the hearing.

SaraBT 02/22/2015

Update - Pinky may have exceeded my husband's patience. She says she'll call on Fridays to figure out what time to meet her at the bus. Half the time she doesn't call until Saturday, but my husband always goes to get her. She says she'll stay until Sunday evening but can't make it that long (I think she either starts withdrawing or suddenly gets an escort client)

She came down this Friday, and decided she needed to go home Saturday at lunchtime, even though it was starting to snow and ice up. She said she had a "fever."

My husband said we're going to have to discuss what to do because she's becoming an "issue." It took him this long to realize it? HAHAHA

nutsandbolts 02/22/2015

It may have taken him this long, but at least he is figuring it out. Sara he's a bio too. I wish I was the third party sometimes like my husband. You see things for what they are, we bios see what they were and the hope. It took me along time. The adoption helped a lot.

SaraBT 02/22/2015

I think what helped the most was when I'd finally had it with her, and told my husband that if he wanted Pinky here HE would have to make arrangements, pick her up and drive her back to the bus stop. I used to do that most of the time, so he never felt the aggravation first-hand. Hee-hee.

snowshoe60 03/27/2015

In reading your post , I realized how lucky we are in the adoption process. The only thing we had to pay for was background check and the oldest child's lawyer fees. The state pays for everything else. And we didn't need all that stuff. We did have to make some changes to the house, but that was covered as well. Fingerprinting is reimbursed, which is good ,because we had to do it twice ( I never did understand that one since our fingerprints don't change). We should be hearing in another week or so on the adoption date. I am anxious for that so we can start living by our standards and not the states...

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