Hello Cottontail. Welcome to the forum. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. It be a rough row to hoe and I feel a sorrowful joy every time someone like you helps me feel less alone with these valid questions.

I'm old enough to check you for diaper rash and inherited my 3 GKs when my youngest son and his wife were killed in a car wreck in September, 2019. I most often call them, "The Foster Kids" because the standard grandmother platitudes are a painful reminder of my loss. I don't know which I miss more: being a standard grandmother or retirement. Can I handle a second parenting career? I'll be 84 when the baby graduates from high school. Got any fashion tips for an 80 year old soccer mom? At present, these children don't have allot of other options.

But that is me and this is your thread. Keep venting, Cottontail. Finding answers starts with finding the question.

Gentle empathy. . . Listening. . .

My hat off to you for considering something so loving. I've definitely seen more and more grandparents raising grandkids. Back in the days, communities definitely helped, but things in every respect have shifted and pivoted, and there are so many complexities to child raising/guardianship. You want this child to be loved and supported, no matter which roof that takes place under.

I'm convinced it's the choice making that's so difficult. Actually, when the choices are made, we then wrestle with them. That's the anxiety part, always telling us the choice made was the wrong one.

thank you both of you. i am so sorry for your loss and am touched by your kindness and your story . I admire you so much. you are so right it is a rough road to travel. i mourn for the plans that i had made and the freedom that i would have had. i also feel flipping angry, in fact i am raging inside.
My son has been away a week and has not once asked how his child is. he is not interested on how i have juggled working and looking after his child. i dread sending my GS back. he seems so happy now.

Do you have any CPS support?

Gentle empathy on losing those retirement dreams. Will I ever get my turn? I still wanna a river pirate when I grow up and still miss my rivers something fierce. And here I am, stuck in the Dust Bowl again.

If you dread sending him back and he seems content where he is, is there any chance of the two of you discovering the world together?

Just wondering. . .

I'm a 54 year old who raised four children only own. My daughter was addicted to heroin and gave birth to my grandson who was born addicted. when he was five years old I adopted him and now he is 11. He was in Foster Care when I adopted him. I have a lot of the same feelings you do and it's scary. It's really hard. My grandson has a lot of behavioral issues as he was severely abused by his dad's ex girlfriend and molested in Foster Care. I feel like I take a beating everyday. I to have to return to work, school is starting and I'm kind of scared how I will do it all.