I have been on and off this site several times over the last few years. It has always been helpful for me. I have permanent custody of my ten year old GS for last five years. My son and my GS mother were divorced before my GS was born. Both were addicts and unfit parents.

My wife and I won custody with supervised visitation through the safe program. Neither parent showed up. Mom is an addict and a whore. Only cares about herself but tries to act like she is a real mother. She is one who has had three boys from three different men and has lost all of them in court. Yet occasionally she will call and act like she is the greatest mom who loves her kids and wants to take them to all the fun places that their is to go. She never does because no one will allow her to take the kids anywhere. She does not pay her child support to any of the three. She does not ever have the same phone number more than a few months and no idea where she lives. We seldom hear from her but I would love to have her out of my life.

My GS has done great during the five years he has been with us. He is a kind, loving individual who never wants to hurt anyone's feeling. I know he wishes he had a normal life and he also does miss his mother. He gets upset with her false promises and is aware of how unreliable she is. He also knows that the judge listen to the evidence and felt he would be better off with us than her. He loves living with us but I can tell that he is beginning to question if he really wants to go by our rules because if he could go back to his mother (which wont happen) there are no rules there. Our rules are simple: No lying, stealing or cheating. He has those down no problem. The big rule is most important. School work. It comes before all else. Finish homework correctly and you get more play time after school with friends. If it is incorrect, then you get less time to play. Not asking much at all but for the first time I see him starting to wish he didn't have rules to go by. He seems to think he might like living with his mother again.

What I found strange was that before we got him, he had no rules, no steady home for longer than a few months. He had no structure at all. When he came to us we gave him structure and he thrived under it. A marked improvement in every category. Why the change? So why now question it? Am I losing him? Is there something I can do better? He has a great life that any child should be happy to have. I can't let him turn into either of his parents. I have tried to lead him down the right paths. I just feel that he thinks his parents don't go by rules so why should he. Any suggestions? Thanks