Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
This time I'm not going to mess around with her.
On Friday, she told me that her shelter stopped overnight visits. She knew this on Thursday, and could have warned my husband and me that we wouldn't be able to go out to dinner as we had planned for more than a month. Of course, none of that was her fault even thought she missed the group meeting when they announced the change in policy.
So she said she wanted to come here on Sunday. Naturally -- it's Mother's Day and she wants her accolades from the kids. She asked if I could pick her up at the bus stop in the morning. I told her there's no way -- it's just too chaotic, getting three kids and myself ready for church. She called back yesterday and said that Lover Boy would give her a ride. I said "fine."
Then she left a message this afternoon asking if I could pick her up at the bus. Lover Boy would pick her up to take her back home. When she called back, I said "you changed your schedule. I cannot pick you up in the morning. It's too much."
When she called to talk to our eldest granddaughter later, I listened in. Something told me that I should. Sure enough, she was poisoning our eldest granddaughter's mind. This is what I heard:
"Mom-Mom says she's a Christian, but she can't be if she won't pick me up at the bus to take MEEEEEE to church and to see MY children."
"(Lover Boy) is willing to drive me back AND forth to see MY children. He LOVES you children! And there is Mom-Mom, refusing to pick me up at the bus to GO TO CHURCH."
" I don't want Mom-Mom and Pop to adopt you because then I wouldn't be your mother anymore."
"I'm getting an apartment and I will have you three kids back with me."
And so on and so forth. Pinky claims she will discuss these topics with me when she gets here tomorrow.
I can't freaking wait.
I'm going to tell her that we need to talk along with my husband, not just me. Then I'm going to let her spew her crap. All of it. Then I am going to very calmly tell her that I heard every word she told MY granddaughter his evening. I'm going to come down on her like a ton of bricks. I'm going to ask her how DARE she mess up HER daughter's mind by telling her lies and false promises. I'm going to slam her like she's never been slammed before. I'm going to make her admit to HER CHILD that she said false things about me. She will either confess to our eldest granddaughter that she is wrong, or she will NOT step foot in our home again.
She IS Jodi Arias. She is evil. I wonder how long this kind of thing has been going on, even as she smiles ever so sweetly to my face.
Psychopathic B**ch. I can't WAIT for this confrontation to happen. How DARE she screw with "her" children's emotions like this!
Oh, it's going to be an interesting day for sure.
On Friday, she told me that her shelter stopped overnight visits. She knew this on Thursday, and could have warned my husband and me that we wouldn't be able to go out to dinner as we had planned for more than a month. Of course, none of that was her fault even thought she missed the group meeting when they announced the change in policy.
So she said she wanted to come here on Sunday. Naturally -- it's Mother's Day and she wants her accolades from the kids. She asked if I could pick her up at the bus stop in the morning. I told her there's no way -- it's just too chaotic, getting three kids and myself ready for church. She called back yesterday and said that Lover Boy would give her a ride. I said "fine."
Then she left a message this afternoon asking if I could pick her up at the bus. Lover Boy would pick her up to take her back home. When she called back, I said "you changed your schedule. I cannot pick you up in the morning. It's too much."
When she called to talk to our eldest granddaughter later, I listened in. Something told me that I should. Sure enough, she was poisoning our eldest granddaughter's mind. This is what I heard:
"Mom-Mom says she's a Christian, but she can't be if she won't pick me up at the bus to take MEEEEEE to church and to see MY children."
"(Lover Boy) is willing to drive me back AND forth to see MY children. He LOVES you children! And there is Mom-Mom, refusing to pick me up at the bus to GO TO CHURCH."
" I don't want Mom-Mom and Pop to adopt you because then I wouldn't be your mother anymore."
"I'm getting an apartment and I will have you three kids back with me."
And so on and so forth. Pinky claims she will discuss these topics with me when she gets here tomorrow.
I can't freaking wait.
I'm going to tell her that we need to talk along with my husband, not just me. Then I'm going to let her spew her crap. All of it. Then I am going to very calmly tell her that I heard every word she told MY granddaughter his evening. I'm going to come down on her like a ton of bricks. I'm going to ask her how DARE she mess up HER daughter's mind by telling her lies and false promises. I'm going to slam her like she's never been slammed before. I'm going to make her admit to HER CHILD that she said false things about me. She will either confess to our eldest granddaughter that she is wrong, or she will NOT step foot in our home again.
She IS Jodi Arias. She is evil. I wonder how long this kind of thing has been going on, even as she smiles ever so sweetly to my face.
Psychopathic B**ch. I can't WAIT for this confrontation to happen. How DARE she screw with "her" children's emotions like this!
Oh, it's going to be an interesting day for sure.
I have never really, truly expressed the full force of my feelings about her - to her. I thought she had gotten beyond badmouthing me to the kids, but it seems she hasn't. She's still the lowlife druggie ho she's always been, and it will make ME feel good to finally get it off my chest :-)
Maybe it will be a good thing to take a break from her. I think my dislike of her is turning into hate. She's all sweet and nice on the surface, but underneath there's a devil.
I hope so. First of all, she may be laughed out of court. She has seen her kids every weekend for the past year and a half. And nobody told her she could never come back.
Second, no judge can force us to have visitation in our home. So Pinky may get more than she bargained for, when, instead of spending the days in our home she ends up at McDonald's or a social service agency under supervision.
Yeppir, I hope she does take us to court.
I am so sorry you are going through this with her all over again! She definately is a piece of work. We keep all conversations between the kids and their "mom" on speaker and we are sitting right there. Of course, my kids are younger than yours, but IMO, pinky has lost the privilege to have any privacy with the children by her actions. What she is doing is a form of emotional abuse where she is trying to cause conflict between the children and you. I went to your state DCF website and looked up what constitutes abuse in your state. It was interesting to say the least:
http://www.nj.gov/dcf/reporting/links/
Cruelty to a child shall consist in any of the following acts: (a) inflicting unnecessarily severe corporal punishment upon a child; (b) inflicting upon a child unnecessary suffering or pain, either mental or physical; (c) habitually tormenting, vexing or afflicting a child; (d) any willful act of omission or commission whereby unnecessary pain and suffering, whether mental or physical, is caused or permitted to be inflicted on a child; (e) or exposing a child to unnecessary hardship, fatigue or mental or physical strains that may tend to injure the health or physical or moral well-being of such child.
How did the children take the "talk"? Did they understand that just because you didn't go pick her up that it doesn't make you un christian? WOW and I thought I had it rough with my DD. I hope things are a little better for you today and things have seemed to calm down a bit. I have been corresponding with you via this site for many years now and truly believe in my heart that you are a good, honest and caring person and that you love and care for the children. If it were me in your situation, I wouldn't let her talk to them unless it's on speaker or at all for a time. Does she not get what she is doing to the kids? Does she not get that she is hurting them even more than what they are hurting?
Our eldest granddaughter wasn't chatty when Pinky was going off on me. It was mostly "mm-hmms" and "um-hums" which leads me to believe that she didn't like what her mother was saying. At one point she did say she "didn't want to be involved" in the drama, and Pinky said something like "I know you don't," then continued.
The most disturbing thing was when Pinky was discussing the adoption, and my granddaughter said that she didn't like living with us. When she gets home from school today I plan to ask her what she means. It could be anything from "I don't like living here because I'm not living with my mom and dad" to appeasing Pinky to having a genuine problem in some area. I hope she'll open up to me.
as far as the kids defending the bios... my GS isn't at all attached to his mom and still if bio mom and I are into it he will tell me to stop being mean to his mommy. Even though she will be the one screaming and yelling at me and I am defending myself I am still being mean to his mommy...
as for Mother's Day GS gives his mommy AND me a gift even if he has to make one at home on his own... as for BG I ALWAYS get her gifts she never even ask or thinks about her bio... EXCEPT for recently she is so scared she is going to have to go home with her from court.
But other family members think she may have been poisoning the kids' minds for a while now. They won't speak to Pinky's mother and the eldest claims she doesn't want to live with us. She'll be home soon, and I'm going to find out what's going on. These poor, poor kids!!!!!
WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT EACH OTHER HERE? I LOVE YOU ALL!