It is definately food for thought, enabling the parents to continue on with their lives while we put ours on hold, I do totally agree with that 100% but I do it for my GD not my daughter, I feel in my heart that my Daughter has screwed her own life up and that she is an adult and should have the responsiblity for her own actions but at the same time I still care for my precious GD while mom is out living the high life so to speak. As long as you know this is the decision that you have chosen and are ok with that, then you must get over it and get past it. I felt that taking my GD would teach my daughter that she needed to make better choices in her life and because she was unable to do this responsibly I have the GD, then when things never changed with visits and the GD kept coming back enraged and upset I ranked the visitation rights..was daughter mad "oh ya" but again trying to teach her that she has to make responsible decisions or there are consequences. Well it is coming up on a year next month that we have had GD and we have such a strong bond with her that she could very well be our own child and she is 100% emotionaly and physically better than when she saw her mother occasionally, so even if my intentions were in a way to punish (the shock factor) her to teach her responsibility by taking GD , she still to this day has not grasped the situation or why. She does not fight for her daughter she fights against me for everything in her life that she thinks I am responsible for. She now has another baby that we have absolutely nothing to do with and have never seen, nor do we want to. W are waiting until the end of summer and then we are going to court to fight for custody of our GD and then the daughter will be free to walk away and live her life as she so chooses, but it will not be with my GD, am I over protective "oh yes" with every right to be. When our lawyer asked us if we could have one thing what would we want and we told her we wanted our GD and for my daughter to just walk away and never interfere in our lives again. I know that sounds harsh but we have been through the same old same old with her for the last 10 years and I refuse to go through it again.

Take Care

This discussion is something so close to my heart...how am I going to be able to let my gd's go when their dad is ready to care for them(4-5 years)or when he is done with college? what sort of conversations could I be having with him about this fear I have? so much to think of!!!

I think the operative words are that we are "taking care of them". We are doing far more than that! We are raising them, we are mom and dad to them, we feed them, we help them, we love them. We are no longer in the grandparent role. It is not fair to live with the fear that we might lose them. There are strong bonds being formed with our gc and to even think of breaking these bonds is a crime in itself. They need our love and stability. I think it is time for the parents to consider loving their children enough to allow them to thrive in the environment they are in. You've probably all read the Lay Away Kids Poem. What do we need to do to show that kids are not objects and cannot be put on layaway? You either are a parent or not....but make your choice and live up to it. You didn't drop stones into the world when you gave birth....they are children....human beings....who need love and attention to grow. If we, as grandparents, have to step in to give them that love and attention, then honor us.....don't fight us.

My daughter did take care of her son before she went to prison..When she gets out she will probually live with me for awhile until she gets on her feet & then we agreed she would get custody back
I know I will still see him but it will be hard when she moves out & I dont see him everyday like I do now. It is tiring taking care of a 3 yr old but I love him so much I dont mind being with him.

Very well said daisydduck, I hope you don't mind but I would like to take your words when it comes time and pass them on to our lawyer they speaks volumes in what we have to say. Thank you for your input.

Be my guest but I am afraid they are just words. We need to unite and get laws changed. I am advocating whenever and where ever I can but it's a long, uphill battle. I have been so busy working and caring for my family but I hope to soon get my second book "Born Into Love" in print so that people can read the statistics and the stories. Say a prayer that I can get the time to do this soon.