Great question. I don't know the answer to that question either and I'm not sure I want to know. I think the percentage will be very low. My dd and sil are currently working the plan set by the court 2 years ago. If you can believe them. My dh and I try not to get our hopes up. We worry that even if they get clean (drugs) and get the kids back that things will go back to the way they were. I have told them more than once that they better make sure they can do this because I will not go thru this again and the kids can not handle it again either. I think they know that we are the only ones who would take their kids. His family has proven that they would not help.

I think I finally found some statistics, and they're pretty sobering:

"In a survey of 4,700 grandparents conducted by the American Association of Retired Persons Grandparent Information Center, the length of time grandparents served as primary caregiver was 31% for less than a year, 20% for one to two years, and 49% for more than two years. More than 7 out of 10 grandparents indicated their role as the primary caregiver was permanent, 11% temporary, and 17% were unsure of the status. Permanent and temporary custodial grandparents will encounter a variety of parental concerns, for example, discipline issues, financial support resources, legal issues (i.e., grandparents' rights, custody options), and most importantly, taking care of themselves (Blackburn, 2000). In addition, many grandchildren may have special medical, psychological, and educational needs, often caused by parental mistreatment or neglect."

http://ohioline.osu.edu/flm01/FS25.html

Forgot to add that this was in 2001! God knows what the numbers are today!

That is a good question! I think I'll try to remember to ask my kinship care coordinator that one! :)

Thx for the info. It will be very useful in my advocacy work . The more statistics I have, the more people listen.

WOW, great information. I so appreciate that you took the time to look for this information. I am trying to write letters to our congress and senators and this information will definately help what I want to say.

Awesome work and thank you again

I attend a relatives as parents support group, and we were just discussing this last meeting.
Statistically wondering how many bio parents turn around, even after plans set forth by CPS, or jail etc. Which is all paid for by us.
Our group has grown in leaps and bounds in the past 3 years. Not all attend, because we are rural and spread out, but the number of relatives raising children is way up.
Most want permanent custody or adoption.

I would guess that most grandparents-raising-children is permanent, based solely on this:

1) Parenting is a natural, biological function. Therefore, if it goes wrong, it means something serious and long-term is wrong.

2) The top reasons to give up parenting are death, mental or physical illness and substance abuse. Death, of course, is permanent, and some mental conditions just never resolve themselves. And many of us know that drug addiction is a lifetime struggle.

3) In a sense, we are enabling the parents to keep doing what they're doing. But what choice do we have, since another human being is involved -- something they never considered. They know they have us between a rock and a hard place, and they don't care. They're out living their lives while we have put our lives on hold. Why should they change?

I only know one who went back to the mother - a great success story. The mother was 18 and her child was one when she just couldn't seem to handle things for a while and asked her parents to take her daughter. The girl lived with the grandparents for about a year, then the mother got herself together and took her back. She's almost 15 now and both she and her mother are doing fine, and the grandparents are still very close. The daughter went on to get a degree, has a great job, bought a house, etc. The child has a very stable home and loving parent.

I know one grandchild who is 13 and wants to live with his mother, she wants him, but the grandmother refuses to give him up. The mother was very young, but has grown up and matured, is married to a terrific guy and they have two children so the boy has two half-brothers. The mother is stable and responsible, so there is no cause for concern for his safety. He wants to live with his mother, step-father, and brothers. The grandparents won't give up custody, but share him with his mother - he stays with her a couple days a week and visits with her. The mother doesn't want to get into a court battle with the grandmother and have her son get hurt, so as long as she has him part of the time, she tolerates her mother's hanging on to him. This is the same grandmother who told me when I took my grandson to raise, that she would never do that - she would never raise her grandchild.

We've had our grandson from birth and he's almost 16. He knows he's better off here and I think, deep down, his mother knows that too. She works nights and travels for work, and you can't just leave a 16 year old alone at night and for days at a time. If we lived in the same city and we could take care of him when she was working or out of town, it might work out. But, she lives 300 miles away. He has three more years of school left, then we will be true empty nesters. It's going to be very quiet, and very boring I'm afraid.

just this weekend the dd and i said 2 yrs. that is the goal but if it does not work i will not be suprized and if it happens sooner i would be very happy for her and the gd.

that story about the gm not wanting to give the gs back even though the biomom is ok now is sad. i have heard of parents keeping the gc even though the bio's have proven to be healed and ready to take on the kids. that, to me, is not any better then what happen to the grand kids to begin with. oh so many different ways children suffer.

Those statistics were really interesting. They must have been posted while I was replying...lol. There is quite a spread between the two sets of statistics. I wonder if it was geographical or what caused the difference? But either way, it looks like half or more are permanent placements.

Sara, you said "3) In a sense, we are enabling the parents to keep doing what they're doing. But what choice do we have, since another human being is involved -- something they never considered. They know they have us between a rock and a hard place, and they don't care. They're out living their lives while we have put our lives on hold. Why should they change? " I so much agree with this! It has given me a lot of pause for thought because I have struggled so hard not to enable my son. I enabled my ex for years and did NOT want to repeat past mistakes. But I think you bring an element in here I never really thought consciously about before. There are always other lives involved, whether it be our own children or gc. We do what we have to do to protect the children. Sometimes this may include enabling. Thank you for that thought! :)

My daughter is in prison for 2-4 yrs(just started 1/09) & I have temp custody of my 3 1/2 yr old grandson..He has lived with me since birth. When my daughter gets out of jail & gets her life back on track he will go back with her..I know that is going to tear my heart out but I know I will have to let him go because that is what will be best for the both of them

PNACE, I doubt you'll have to turn him over to her immediately after her release. Won't she have to prove that she can support herself and her child for some time after?

PNACE, I hope you will take your time in letting your daughter have her child back. I hope you will make your daughter PROVE she is capable of doing a good job in taking care of the GC before giving the child back to her.

As for "enabling" them by taking care of their kids; I'm not sure I look at it like that, but I know my boyfriend looks at it like that. When I've told him that even if the parents DO get their acts together, there will always be a chance of relapse and their will always be a chance that I get another phone call, he says, "Yeah, and they'll always have that crutch to fall back on." To me, I was enabling them when I allowed them to stay in my home & when I took on all the responsibility of raising their child while they played "house" and did the enjoyable things with the baby, but did those things under the influence of heroin. Now that they are kicked out of my home and their baby is no longer in their care, I don't feel like I'm enabling them anymore. I'm giving them a reason to get clean. Get clean or never get your child back. They could've, and did, use when they had their child. They can continue to use now, but not BECAUSE I'm taking care of their child. With my situation, though, DCFS is involved, which does create a different scenario than when a Grandparent is just voluntarily raising a GC and there are no legal safety nets for the Grandparents. When the parent can just come in anytime they like and take the child back, then I can see that situation as being looked at as just enabling them.

Ours is perm, we adopted through the state. Bios still don't have it together and I doubt they will. Sad, they aren't even safe for our girls to know them.

As for the gm of the 13 yr old, most 13 yr olds think the grass is greener on the other side. How long do you raise a child before all consider you the parent, second what kind of guardianship does this gma have, did she adopt? Really to me it sounds like the same as a kid wanting to go live with the grands because the parents set down rules and boundries. JMHO sorry if it offends anybody.