Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
So...My stepdaughter, can come across as very well put together, she's what I call a functioning druggie, and during our court days she showed up every day except when we couldn't pick her up. Yes, we gave her rides to court. Crazy I know. Anyway, we took the kids to her this weekend and she told me she might be in jail for 2 weeks because of arson. Apparently the boyfriend that "doesn't" live with her, who has a record for beating a woman and was in prison for 12 year, pissed her off. He was supposed to give her a ride to an interview and when it didn't happen she got pissed took all his cloth (which she happened to have, because remember he doesn't live there), put it in the bathtub, poured lighter fluid and clorax and threw a match in the tub. Of course everything went up in flames. Now she's being charged with Arson. I laughed when I heard the story. I feel guilty sometimes because it pleases me to see the bios fail. The only reason it pleases me is because I know that if they ever won custody of their kids it could be because they played the system and not because they really made the changes necessary. If I knew in my heart that they were really capable of changing, I would want nothing more. But what I don't want is for them to continue playing the system and getting kids that represent benefits, food and shelter for them. So I was so happy that she showed her true colors and that now we're getting closer at maybe someday being able to terminate her rights and adopt these kids. They deserve stability and not to have the rug pulled from under them.
For the past year, for instance, Pinky could have gotten her kids back. She was in a stable relationship, in recovery, living in a home that was nice enough and large enough for all three kids. If she had tried, I know she would have succeeded.
And then what? LoverBoy would have gotten sick, she started using and lost everything. We would have gotten the kids back...not good for them most of all.
In my experience any successes the bios experience are temporary -- especially if they're in their 30s and haven't gotten things together yet. The older they get the less likely they'll stay on the straight and narrow. But if they want to work the system, they're experts. And all they care about is what they want -- not what the kids need.
Im glad you laughed!