Thanks daisy...yes I will make sure I have plenty of notes ready....I'll be sure to keep you updated.

Kathy, I'm wondering if we could get a feed online to listen when this happens? Would be great to hear the interview.

I finally got a reply:
Since you didnt reference a particular article, we cant be sure exactly what you had in mind when you accused us of being ridiculously nave with regard to the challenges faced by grands raising grands. In any case, your comments seem to reflect a woefully inadequate understanding of our viewpoint. As a matter of fact, we have worked hard to present all sides of this issue in a fair and balanced way. For example, Chris Weygandt Albas Gaining Legal Custody of Your Grandkids candidly acknowledges that caretaking grandparents face a number of formidable obstacles, including legal red tape, problems enrolling children in school, difficulties with medical-consent issues, grandchildrens ineligibility for employer-provided health insurance, and the fear that birth parents may reclaim their children at any time. Meanwhile, Marlee Alex, in Parenting Grandchildren, encourages grandparents to get involved with grandparenting support groups, to explore creative ways of making financial ends meet, and to check out the availability of monetary assistance from Aid to Families with Dependent Children. Both sets of observations and advice are valid and important for custodial grandparents who desperately need to know that they arent alone in the vital task theyve taken on. We dont see any reason to depress and discourage these heroic people by telling them that there is no help available especially when it is part of Focus on the Familys stated mission to provide just such help in any way we possibly can.



We hope this reply has clarified our perspective for you. Thanks again for caring enough to contact us. Dont hesitate to let us know if we can be of any further assistance. God bless you.

This was my response:

After writing two books, living through it and researching for my second book, I can tell you that you are very wrong in that there is help. The help that is available is limited mostly to grandparents that are at or below the poverty level because these programs are income based. I interviewed numerous grandmothers and agencies throughout the Unite States and this is what I am told by every one. I am on the Task Force in our state for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren and I know this is the case. Grandparents are desperately trying to seek relief with TANIF and cannot because they work, or have retirement incomes that are too high. I have survived through many losses as well as raising my grandson and caring for my husband who suffered a stroke at 49 with my faith. It has challenged and there have been times when I just did not want to believe. But I have come through and I now know that God gives us challenges throughout life to test our faith.
Your comment of not wanting to say there is no hope is without basis. When the neurosurgeon announced that my daughter's brain tumor had returned and she had just brought home her preemie son, I collapsed in despair and said there's no hope. He said:"why would you say that? There is always hope". Two days later they gave her 1 in 100 chances of living three days. Three days later she had surgery and lived over a year bonding with her son. We are not giving up. We are just beginning to fight for recognition of our jobs. My research has shown that this is the biggest change in the traditional family since the 1950's! We cannot ignore it and to say there is help when the majority cannot access it is indeed naive. Helping to get the word out and getting legislators to change laws to give these children insurance, to have their teachers understand that they may be misbehaving because they are grieving, to get them therapy for Attachment Disorder
and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is helping. My second book: Born Into Love is about the unconditional love that grandparents are giving these grandchildren and most in the process are losing their retirement income to caring for the children. In interviewing grandmothers for my book, my final question was: "If you had it to do over again, would you do the same thing?" "Absolutely, they're my grandchildren!" was the universal answer. If you truly want to focus on the family then report on the full subject, not just a couple of books. I spent months researching for Born Into Love which has statistics, studies, and stories. I do not have the print date for it yet but hope that it will bring out what is really happening to grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. My first book is: "Has Anyone Seen My Daisy"? and is about my personal story, if you care to read it. It has a lot of poetry. Comments: "I laughed and I cried; it's a story
that had to be told".

Good comments, Daisy. AS of yet I have not heard anything back.
But I am checking back because scgramma wrote it was to be a 4 piece article. So I want to see what else they wrote.

I went back and read the other articles, they were much better.
But does not give me any more info then we all already know.
I am constantly looking for new info some place else to search, a law to look up,someone to contact etc.... This would be nice to see in an aritcle, give us some names and numbers of people we can call to say LAWS HAVE TO BE CHANGED!!!!

I have three speaking engagements for November and Decemember where I will be able to get the word out. I'll just keep talking until someone hears me. Also, last spring I went to see our congressman who brushed me off and never followed up as he promised. I sent him an email and said I would not vote for him because he would not recognize the situation. His aide called me today and asked how they could help. I sent him a lot of info and will follow up. Any suggestions on what I should tell him?

Yes, Daisy!
One thing is to let him know this is a wide spread problem that has gotten out of hand. We step in to raise/help the grand children and we are all kicked to the curb. Not only do we all need help with money, we also should get the state vochers for day care and laws need to be changed or at least followed through with.
I know as a CASA Advocate that we go by the same law as ALL other states go by when it comes to children and I know here (as I am sure it is every state) parents are to have ONE year to get it together or the rights are to be taken from them. This is the law that needs to be followed!!!!! While it takes so much money to raise the children, on top of that we are being put through lawyer fees, court fees etc...that is costing us all an arm and a leg, because the court system is allowing the parents to keep taking us back to court when they are not ready do to that law they have one year.
Once permenant guardianship/custody is giving it should be that period and we should have all say so other wise what does permenant mean???????????? or the word custody mean?
We were once set in life , we had a large savings account 2 homes 2 businss's etc..... we are down to one home and one buisiness. ANd this one home we will be letting go back in the next month, and no money in savings.
WE have been hummbles, BUT we should have a out come after 4 years. (something to show, why we were humbles)Instead it is still going and going and going......The lose of everything trying to pay lawyers we can do with out,but the stress of being made to send a child to her mom's to be abused it crazy!
ALSO
Use my little common sense comment that I always use..........
WHen you abuse a animal, you are arrested, name on the news, you get at least a large fine, if not jail time and you NEVER get that animal back!!!!!!!
Why is it animals have more rights then children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That article is really out there.Who's reality is that? Be creative??? Work a second job??? Certainly, not any grandparents I know that are dealing with the daily issues of raising grandchildren. Thank you to the grandparents here that are doing something about this!!Daisy... Oprah here she comes!!

I read the first part of this article and that was enough! I wrote to this organization and told them that I wondered just how many grandparents their writer interviewed before writing her article...and that, though I agreed with the necessity of our taking care ourselves, that what we need is help not suggestions like being 'creative'! That people who take in foster children get more help than we do, and we are saving the state money by doing this! I suggested that their writer look into why we aren't helped and treated like it is our responsiblity to raise our grandchildren, because our adult children have messed up???? Also, what little creativity I have goes into getting them to school and keeping them up with what the schools send home for us to do with them, along with doing what we can to give them a normal childhood...

Grandmame: if I get to Oprah, it will be with an audience of grandmothers and their grandchildren from all over the U.S. to support me! Wanna come?

Jade: I will take your comments with me. Thank you. I could not have said it better. If you don't mind I will also share it with our congressman. I am working with his assistant to gain recognition and will share the comments with him also.

For all of you. If you have not reviewed the new law, link posted on ds, please do so. I spoke to one of the ladies who helped compose the law and she pointed out, as I had read, that the law helps those grans that are foster parents mainly. However, this is a start! We got recognition. I am dedicating my advocacy to the grandparents who are taking the financial hits alone and will continue to fight for assistance for them that is NOT income based. It will be an uphill battle, but I am picking up help along the way. Jade, we lost everything also. I was laid off of my job last May and am just getting some part time jobs to help out. I don't know how I'll pay the rent, but I trust God will help me out as He always has, usually at the last minute. In the meantime, go to your state website and find your representatives. They have email access through the state government. Same thing with Federal. I went to see my congressman six months ago and never heard back. After several failed attempts to reach him, last week I emailed him that I would now ignore him and not vote for him! I had a call back in days. We need to get our stories out there! email Oprah, email Ellen, email Tyra Banks, and tell them they need to cover this topic. I applaud all of you for all you are doing. May God send enough guardian angels to keep us going!