Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Every once in while we've talked about how addiction can be compared to other diseases, such as diabetes or heart disease.
When I attended Al-Anon, they told us that the reason addiction is classified as a disease is because it follows a particular path, just as others do. If you treat it, this will happen. If you don't treat it, this will happen, then that, etc. etc.
It just occurred to me today that addiction is completely different from other diseases, except perhaps for the mental illnesses,
The disease of addiction itself makes it all about the addict. All they care about is giving themselves relief or pleasure, and the rest of the world including their own children, doesn't matter.
And the treatment? MORE "all about me."
I think that's why addiction aggravates us so much. No matter what the addict in our lives is doing, it's all about them. I realized this as I thought about Pinky. I need to focus on MY goals. MY body. MY recovery. MY actions." She complains that she needs a job (and she does). But she doesn't have one, and so she sits at home all day, bored to tears because she can't amuse herself. So I told her to go volunteer somewhere. A library. A nursing home, a food bank -- whatever. Absolutely no interest at all. That would involve focusing on helping other people, and Pinky's recovery is all about PINKY.
I'm beginning to wonder if the whole cycle, from addiction through recovery, is nothing more than a symptom of narcissism (the REAL disease).
When I attended Al-Anon, they told us that the reason addiction is classified as a disease is because it follows a particular path, just as others do. If you treat it, this will happen. If you don't treat it, this will happen, then that, etc. etc.
It just occurred to me today that addiction is completely different from other diseases, except perhaps for the mental illnesses,
The disease of addiction itself makes it all about the addict. All they care about is giving themselves relief or pleasure, and the rest of the world including their own children, doesn't matter.
And the treatment? MORE "all about me."
I think that's why addiction aggravates us so much. No matter what the addict in our lives is doing, it's all about them. I realized this as I thought about Pinky. I need to focus on MY goals. MY body. MY recovery. MY actions." She complains that she needs a job (and she does). But she doesn't have one, and so she sits at home all day, bored to tears because she can't amuse herself. So I told her to go volunteer somewhere. A library. A nursing home, a food bank -- whatever. Absolutely no interest at all. That would involve focusing on helping other people, and Pinky's recovery is all about PINKY.
I'm beginning to wonder if the whole cycle, from addiction through recovery, is nothing more than a symptom of narcissism (the REAL disease).
I'm also a third generation alcoholic from my mother's side. She was a drunk, so was my grandfather on her side. I have alcoholics on both sides of my family, and i worry that i have cursed my children with the awful disease of addiction. So far, my boys are not addicted to anything. My dd takes pills.
Recovery has to be selfish, at least for the first little while. I had to concentrate on how to deal with things sober, not easy when you're used to looking thru a haze of alcohol. Yes, it is all about the addict. Perhaps narcissism does play a role, altho AA taught me that i had to stop making everything about me, me, me and focus on what effects my actions had on others. To step outside of myself was the scariest thing I've ever done, and not easy.
I can tell y'all this, the addict has to WANT to stop, no matter what their drug of choice. As long as they are unwilling, nothing anyone does, says, or the consequences mean a thing. Are our brains wired differently? I believe so. As far as having a choice goes, I don't believe most of us would have ever picked up that first drug if we knew the road we would go down.
Every single female in my family has had breast cancer. Every single one. My mom, grandmother, aunts, cousins, etc. They either survived or did not. My doctor recommended genetic testing and I almost said "no," because I knew I'd have the gene. Turns out I didn't! How that happened it beyond odd, but I guess it means there's hope for all of us :-)