My gs is 22 and attachment issues remain a problem though he has conquered so much. While this is typical of teen love, it is worse for grans who have been abandoned by bio parents. They missed out on the security of parental love and even though we give them all we can, they know something is missing. Unfortunately, they tend to blame themselves and that is what I w/be concerned about. I w/try and encourage him to see a counselor to discuss the breakup and perhaps they can help him work through the attachment issues. I don't know if you have ever learned about Attachment Disorder but many of our gc suffer from it because of the adults in their lives leaving them. They do tend to blame themselves and feel they are responsible for the person leaving. Hope this helps.

You know, I can't say we really found a "good" counselor. The first one was a student and really bad. One day I just got upset and told them to forget it. They got all upset and assigned a supervisor counselor and things went better. This is the one who diagnosed attachment disorder which explained a lot to us. The next place they had group therapy and he seemed to do better with that. While he was in counseling, I went to a parent group and got a good deal of help there. When all was said and done though, I cannot attribute any real gains with counselors but more with what we learned about handling it ourselves. They opened doors but we did the actual work w/gs. It took him awhile to accept because teens don't like to admit to problems. Now, he comfortably talks about it. I w/suggest you read about attachment disorder and talk w/your gs. The priest may also be a good sounding block for him. My concern is that they always try to put it off to a "teen thing" or typical and it is not. I believe we gained more by working one on one with gs. However, that only worked after we learned about post traumatic stress and attachment disorder. Also, grieving therapy is important. You might research that on the web. Bottom line is I totally agree about counselors. Perhaps though we expect them to fix problems while all they can do is identify them. Sounds like you have good communication with your gs so you s/do well with him. I understand the part of watching them hurt and not having an answer for them but helping them find their own answer may be the better way.

The reality is..there is "pain" in life and living. It cannot be avoided. Sounds like your family is providing the support we all need to overcome a painful experience, regain confidence in ourselves and be brave enough to pull up our boot straps and forge on. Wish I had known this while raising my children, tried to protect them from pain. That isn't always a good thing as they had to learn lessons eventually . Trying not to feel guilty about that, I did what I thought was best, can't go back. Have to say if I had it to over again? My daughter's "My Little Pony" accessories would not have been retrieved for safe keeping all the time so she would learn to pick things up so she wouldn't lose them. I picked them up. To this day she has every piece of a miniature stacking toy because I found all the pieces for her every time.
Have to believe all you have given your grandson will help him find himself and his own strength to move on. And yes..it takes time.