Make sure your profile text is upbeat and don't include anything "needy" - don't say you "need" a man or a chance. Don't mention your weight in the negative and do not mention your hardship finding a guy. Can you share your profile ext with me - I'll tell pretty quick if it is running the guys away because i am sure its not a cute chubby face.

Make sure your profile text is upbeat and don't include anything "needy" - don't say you "need" a man or a chance. Don't mention your weight in the negative and do not mention your hardship finding a guy. Can you share your profile ext with me - I'll tell pretty quick if it is running the guys away because i am sure its not a cute chubby face.

Make sure your profile text is upbeat and don't include anything "needy" - don't say you "need" a man or a chance. Don't mention your weight in the negative and do not mention your hardship finding a guy. Can you share your profile ext with me - I'll tell pretty quick if it is running the guys away because i am sure its not a cute chubby face.

Make sure your profile text is upbeat and don't include anything "needy" - don't say you "need" a man or a chance. Don't mention your weight in the negative and do not mention your hardship finding a guy. Can you share your profile ext with me - I'll tell pretty quick if it is running the guys away because i am sure its not a cute chubby face.

Make sure your profile text is upbeat and don't include anything "needy" - don't say you "need" a man or a chance. Don't mention your weight in the negative and do not mention your hardship finding a guy. Can you share your profile ext with me - I'll tell pretty quick if it is running the guys away because i am sure its not a cute chubby face.

Whoa, why in creation did that post so many times? I only hit Add once.

The worst thing you can do is create an imaginary facade to attract more people. Try to consider the possibility that the problem might NOT BE YOU. One of the problems is that people in general (not just gays) have gotten overly superficial, self-centered and greedy. If you were thin, the most you'd get more of is sex, not love, along with a higher risk of catching std's. Granted, even the best of us needs a certain kind of physical chemistry with a partner, but it's gotten so out of control. Someone like you can either see himself as faulty ....because you're in the minority, or rise above it and realize that something else is going on. Be patient. What you're looking for is not the run of the mill gay man.

I'm right there with ya man. And I'm 47. On top of what you had to say I also have some issues as a fulltime caregiver that keep me at home perpetually with no free time of a life of my own. But my self image is for shit. Seems to me though that what DavidOz has to say makes an incredible amount of sense over all the touchy feel good stuff that a lot of other people had to say. Not that I'm dissing on any of them cause I'm not. It's just that sometimes empathizing and being there yourself are words apart in making for a real sense of understanding. I'm gonna have to give David's advice some serious consideration and effort I think.

I had an interesting situation yesterday.
I met a bloke on gaydar - he looked great - his txts seemed ok, more than great photos - but then when I actually spoke with him over the phone I realised he was a "bossy bottom" - I dislike them intensely.

I just want a bloke who wants to be with me, not just my dick.

I thought about it overnight - then sent him a txt the next day - explaining that it won't work out between us and why.

He then sent me 5 txts trying to change my mind.
Now guys, I'm no Adonis - and I know that - but when a washboarded bloke with a 7.5 inch cock is told that I don't want to meet him, let alone have sex with him, he got all bent out of shape.

I know this is probably not strictly sticking to the question - but I have quite a few extra pounds, less than I used to have though.
My point is - being buff, big dicked and quite cute does not guarantee you sex, not with me anyway. I'm seeking someone with a desire to meet me emotionally, not only physically.

When you are out and about - do you feel good about yourself - how you are dressed, how you appear to people who see you walking in the mall, for example?

Cheers mate,

Dave

If I have to be brutally honest with myself. I don't expect to meet that great guy. At least not for the forseeable future. Hell who am I kidding? Not ever really.I'm trapped in my own self induced prison or whatever I guess. I am the full time caregiver for my Grandmother who suffers from advanced dementia/alzheimers and a severely mentally handicapped cousin whom she raised. My life has pretty much been taken over by that and anything of myself has taken a back seat. Sure I'd love to meet Mr. Incredible. Hell I'd even like to meet Mr. OK. But the truth is that I've given up on that happening in the near future. Probably ever. This thing I'm doing has totally taken over my life. and I'm afraid that by the time it's over. I will be too old, too ugly and too jaded for Mr. Anybody that I'd also be interested in to ever take a second look ate me. If he even notices me on the first glance that is. I was never the "take a risk type to start with". Guess you could lay it down to a basic lack of self confidence that I've never overcome. Even though I'd love for it to be different, what I truly expect is that I'll be lonely and romantically alone til the day I die. I'm fine with being outgoing about stuff until the focus actually comes to me personally. You know the stereotypical wall flower? Well I'm more like the the old wood trim or crown molding . Interesting but not likely to go anywhere anytime soon. I hate it but I just never developed the skills or self confidence to be anything else. And at my age I really don't know how to change. I'm the guy who people love to be "friends with" but never seem to give a second thought to being anything more with. It doesn't help either that I have tastes that are far outside my reach. Or that I have no taste in clothes and stuff that it seems gay men are supposed to have. I hate shopping or cooking and never hung out in places like the mall or clubs even when I was free to do so. I guess that basically I don't believe in myself and therefore nobody else will either. That's how I basically see it anyway. Aside from that people say I'm a great person. Always handy with an encouraging word and talented at creating artwork. Just not date material on a personal level apparently. I just freeze up and shut down and am really uncomfortable in social settings. Maybe it sounds like I'm making excuses but this is how I honestly see myself. I know that this is a big part of my depression that is totally of my own making. I also know that it is part of some kind of defense mechanism to keep myself from being hurt. But knowing all of that and doing anything about it are worlds apart. Oh and did I mention that I live in a rural area where there is absolutely no gay culture.
I know I'm pathetic and if I'm not willing to help myself then there isn't anything anyone else can do for me either.. Basically I just totally suck.
I totally got away from the topic didn't I?
See what I mean!!!!

Forget of staying on topic. I understand. I am listening for what it's worth.