Gay & Lesbian Teens Support Group
This community is dedicated to teens that identify as Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender or are questioning their sexual orientation. It's a supportive community where LGBT & questioning teens can give or get advice from their peers or just hang out. Please do not join this community unless you meet the description above. Thanks!
I've recently come to accept the fact that I'm a lesbian. I've spent most of my life denying it and trying to change it, but I realized there was nothing wrong with it.
I feel like I need to tell my mom. Our relationship was never very good, but we've worked things out and we're a lot closer than we've ever been. But she always gives me mixed signals about how she feels about gays and lesbians. One day she's defending gay rights, and the next day she acts like she's embarrassed by it. No one else in my family is supportive of it, but my mom's the best chance I have of being accepted.
My question is, how do I tell her? Do I just say "Yeah, so I'm a lesbian" or do I work my way into it?
I feel like I need to tell my mom. Our relationship was never very good, but we've worked things out and we're a lot closer than we've ever been. But she always gives me mixed signals about how she feels about gays and lesbians. One day she's defending gay rights, and the next day she acts like she's embarrassed by it. No one else in my family is supportive of it, but my mom's the best chance I have of being accepted.
My question is, how do I tell her? Do I just say "Yeah, so I'm a lesbian" or do I work my way into it?
when i told my mom a couple of years ago i just came out with it after hiding it 4yrs as though in the end shes always said your just different even now no matter she didnt like it in the beganing now years have past she is lil accepting not much but shes trying here as li sisterly luv its gonna be ok the rainbow shine everyday lol lgbt ghost
First off, congrats on reaching this point of acceptance of yourself! We all know what it's like to struggle with who we are, and it's usually a painful road. So it's great to hear you've come to terms with yourself :) As for coming out, that's tricky. It's unique for everyone. Nobody can really tell you what's right and what's wrong on when and how you do it. There are things to consider. One very important factor is, are you financially dependent on your mother? If you are, you'll want to be very careful. Nothing is worse than being left high and dry or being blackmailed for money to get by. You say she's sending mixed signals? Be sure you know she's going to react okay if you ARE financially dependent on her. If you think things are going to go south, it might be best to hold off coming out to her. I know that sounds crummy, but nothing should jeopordize your health and/or stability like that. Another thing to think about is how will you handle different scenarios? If the best happens, what will you do? If the worst happens, what will you do? Think of all the different ways she can react and think about things. Think about both the emotional and physical effects. If you do decide it's time, there's multiple ways you can tell her. You could write her a letter. Sit down and just write how you feel. Reassure her that you are still the same daughter that she raised, and that nothing has really changed. You are just accepting who you are. Work it into a conversation. Bring up gay rights or casually mention how you did some type of LGBT activity and let conversation go from there. Or, yes, you can even say, "Yeah, so I'm a lesbian." :P That may be a bit of a shock, though. If you are going to talk about it, I'd recommend practicing in front of a mirror. It sounds silly, but it will really help prepare you for what you want to say and how you want to say it. Most important in all of this is be confident. Be proud of who you are. You're in an exciting transition of discovering who you are. It's scary, yet wonderful. Own it. :) I wish you all the luck in the world during this process! Don't hesitate to shoot me a message if you need somebody to talk to!
Ash