This is probably pretty long story but i feel i need to vent and maybe someone will understand me. I fell in love with my now best friend Taylor on 3/14/08 and we've become close.. and she once told me she as confused... and i thought at one point she said she liked me.. but i misinterpreted it even though... she said it PRETTY CLEARLY then said she didnt... and she's dated like so many boys sense... none of them the rite one.. well the recent one has lasted the longest. but anyways... everyone kept tellin me she's using me but she already told me she doesnt like me like that she doesnt "think" so what i do with her is of my own accord.
Well now she's with this guy... very fugly. but neways besides the point i get so jealous.. and i don't mean to be but... it seems i just want to make her happy.. and i spend time with her and ijust want to like wrap my arms around her... and kiss her.. and it drives me nuts.... well... as soon as her and her new man started going out.. i started to realize... that im lonely... Usually i spend my days cheuffering people around or helping people with their love problems.. but recently those activities have halted... and I remember i told people to "Stand on your own two feet before you stand on someone else's that way if you get hurt you can catch yourself before you fall to hard." Now it seems i'm the one falling off my feet. To me she's amazing... she's country (i really like that) she understands me... we can both sing... and have been in the same choir class for a while now.. which personally i don't care if they can sing or not but as long as they listen to country... But now it seems she's startin to slip away has a friend...She had once TOLD me we were going to prom together. not as dates but as friends which was fine with me...then kind of told me.. well we mite "hang out" at prom later on when i asked what was actually going to happen.... A part of me.. REALLY wants to believe that somewhere deep in side she has feelings for me.... but there's the other part that tells me to move on.... But... now i realize i have no one to move on to... Usually i switch crushes every few months... But the last two crushes have been stuck in my head for a long time.... Which Concludes to I'm So freaking tired of being single, after experiencing what it's like to be SOOO happy having someone to call your own.... and then having no one.... it's been about 6 years now... it seems... it's annoying...


This is probably really long and annoying to read... but I had to say it ... I feel so alone some times.... I know that ya'll understand because i'm sure we've all fallen in love with straight people....