Okay. I realized I never properly introduced myself. My name is Alycia. I'm twelve years old, and in seventh grade. (Yeah, I lied when I signed up here, but I'm thirteen in a few months)

I'm a geek and slightly emo.

I'm obsessed with the "Harry Potter" books, Twenty One Pilots, and a few YouTubers including Shane Dawson (my #1 role model).

I'm in band and I play the French horn. I'm pretty good at it, for a beginner (beginning band starts in seventh gradenin my state. I wish it were sooner).

I'm also in drama club. Our school play this year is "The Lion King Jr." And I'm Scar!

I've been giving myself voice lessons by recording me singing and fixing it(because of the play, I gotta to this) It's actually worked a bit. I used to suck and now I'm a bit better.

 Yeah, I have a girlfriend (as far as it should go in middle school) and we're doing well as one of the longest lasting couples at school, being two of the minimal openly gay people at school. We're going to the casual school-you-aren't-supposed-to-have-a-date dance together secretly.

I'm somewhat questioning my sexuality, but I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian (if so, probably a blue jean femme) and I'm demisexual. I never really questioned my gender. I thought about being in the non binary spectrum, but that quickly left my mind.

Now here's the depressing things.

I've been bullied a lot, the worst started in fourth grade.

I see myself as ugly, fat, useless, talentless, and worthless. I don't see the point to my existence, hence my username. The only things I pride myserlf on are my intelligence and somewhat on my creativity.

My dad got laid off in fourth grade and took a long time to find a new job. That six months was terrifying. He got a new job, but very soon got laid off again. That was fifth grade. It took him about a year, give or take a few weeks, for him to get a new job. He hasn't gotten laid off since and I am very thankful. But still, we aren't very stable financially.

I made my first suicide attempts when I was in fourth grade. I was nine. I tried to strangle myself. Enough said.

The only reason I haven't cut is because I haven't had anything sharp enough.

I'm still bullied a lot, but I've been emotionally worn down so much, it doesn't really bother me as much. I may have a mental disorder now though.

I want to start a GSA next year when I get to the school for eighth and ninth grade on my town (they're changing up the schools a lot so I don't know what it'll be called. There will be one school for sixth grade, one for seventh, one for eighth and ninth, and one for tenth, eleventh, and twelfth, plus the elementaries) 

Serious anxiety and depression run in my family and I'm pretty sure I have them, at least a bit.( I won't go into detail cuz its a bit tytyoo personal) but my mom refuses to have me talk yo somebody and the school councilors are not to be trusted

Most importantly:

I am an aspiring authour and filmmaker. 

I'm working on my first book!

I have a poetry journal!

Last year, in class during our poetry unit, we had to write short, one-stanza poems at the start of class some days and voluntarily read them. After the second time, there was a rule that I had too go last because nobody wanted to share after me cuz mine were so much better.

I'm on my school's broadcast/ambassador team. We make the morning news and manage some school events.

I want to be a YouTuber and have my original skits, short stories, and do rants because that's what I'm good at. (If I get better at singing, Id do covers)

My parents are overprotective and kinda hate me (they've admitted to it)

I'm sorry this is all over the place asnd very long. I'm a bit scatterbrained. Sorry

I think that's it. I joined about a week ago, so I'm still learning about this place and trying to get to trust you. I hope y'all can help me make it through life.