Gay & Lesbian Teens Support Group
This community is dedicated to teens that identify as Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender or are questioning their sexual orientation. It's a supportive community where LGBT & questioning teens can give or get advice from their peers or just hang out. Please do not join this community unless you meet the description above. Thanks!
So. I've called myself bi for about two years . But as time has gone by. Ive slowly become 100% gay. Im in a lot of stress right now. Being litterally on the road to move back to the state i grew up in. While Ive been in the state I've been living in for awhile. Ive been finding myself having increased attraction to guys. And while in this state I went to a long term hospital for cutting. And i found this guy.. We fell in love very quickly. and i even got to experience my first Kiss with him. And my second. And my third. Etc. And in leaving the hospital. I have been waiting on him to be released so we can talk. And now I've been as my lesbian best friend calls it 'boy crazy' since i left that hospital. And moving back home to where i spent my entire life i don't know any gay people. Not one. And im stressed because nobody back home knows I'm gay. And my grandmother above all people hates it. She's a so called Christian ( she doesn't act like one) and always tells me how wrong it is and even beat me last time i was talking to a guy like that. She doesn't know how deep i am in being gay. she doesn't know about the Kiss. and she thinks im just in a phase and questioning who i am. But i know who i am. And i just have nobody who supports me.. and i need gay interactions when i move back. because i need someone to spend time with... And etc. Please help me!
You might not ever really know who you are. I thought I was 100% gay, and I fought so hard to find a label for myself, to find a banner I could rally under, and I tore myself apart looking for a static identity because identities are not static. People change with every passing second. Your thoughts now are new. You've never made them before.
When it comes to sexual orientation, I've learned that sexual desire is something that only appears in the moment. I am not attracted to "men" or "women" (gender is a social construct anyways), but I am attracted to A PERSON and in the moment my body, through physical sensations like the fluttering of a heart or the tickling of arousal, will tell me if I am attracted to that person. Don't worry about putting yourself in a box; allow yourself to follow your impulses and you might surprise yourself!
As far as coming out to family: it's hard. There's no other way around it. But harder than coming out is days and weeks and years of hiding a secret from the people that you could love, you could nurture, you could take care of. If they really love you, if they love you unconditionally, then they will accept who you are. Now, if you know they won't accept you or might make you leave the house, or do something else that puts you in danger, then I think it is fair to keep your secret. But if you feel safe, you will feel even safer when you tell them who you are. My father is a classic, closed-off man, but now, years after he's learned about my Queerness, he waves his rainbow flag proudly.
Make the choices that feel good to you. You have an inner guidance system that always knows exactly what you want and what you need. Trust yourself. You are so capable. And remember, you are never alone.