I still hear that after surgery and it makes me so angry. There is nothing easy about having this surgery.

My husband insinuated that thought a couple of times. He is supportive - but I do think that idea lingers in the back of his mind. :( I really think that people who are not "us" will never understand. Psshaw -- we are doing what we need to do for ourselves and our health. I try not to let it bother me too much.

WHATEVER the reasons were that you chose to take this journey, it is in no way easier than any other means of weight loss. I think people say that because the weight comes off so quickly at first, it seems like it's easy. They don't understand the sacrifices we make, the mental and physical difficulties we face, and a million other things that come up along the way that we have to deal with. At the end of the day, you have to know that you made this decision for the right reasons no matter what anyone else says.

I truly think that people close to us say those things becasue they are scared of the unknown. They don't know how this whole journey will change us, for the better or worse. They don't know how others will now respond to the "new" us. They have a million "what ifs...." going through their heads when we are so busy concentrating on what we need to do today. I would talk to him and tell him how you feel. Maybe you two should go to some support group meetings together or even counseling might help. This is all new for everyone involved. Good luck! Have faith in you and your decisions. :)

I have also heard that from people! But, those of us who were blessed with surgery know the hidden side of WLS and this is by means not the easy way out!

Thanks ladies for the encouragement. I signed up for this sight because this is a very small military base with NO support group!

Brush it off. I am 41 and overweight my whole life. Like you, I tried everything and could lose a little but always hungry and it would never last. Ask your husband this..... If he broke his leg and kept going to the same doctor and they never fixed it right would he or anyone keep going back or would he try another route. ...just like you did. I am 8 weeks post op down from 441 pounds to 333 and feel great. Like you I want to see my 4and 5 year old sons get married. It doesn't matter how you do it you just have to. Good for you keep it up.

I have just begun my journey. When I mentioned the surgery to one of my cousins, that was one of her first comments. I immediately got defensive and told her that this is in no way the "easy way out." I will have to constantly make the right choices in order to keep the weight off. I love her dearly and know she's just worried about the surgery itself. Keep up your faith, hopefully the comments will subside once he sees that you are making great sacrifices in order to live longer for you and your family.

This is absolutely NOT the easy way out - and everyone who has had this surgery will tell you the same. I haven't shared with all of my family member that I've had WLS because of that very attitude. Unfortunately your husband will be there during your journey and I think he'll come to see how much there is to the surgery, and then all the post-op lifestyle changes, the vitamins, blood tests, etc.. that you will have to continue diligently for the rest of your life. You will never be able to mindlessly scarf down a meal ever again. It is a lot of work but the pay off is your good healthy best self - and there is nothing easy about that. You know you have the right intentions and we will all be here for you - 24 hours a day. You go girl!!

i dont understand how this is the easy way out someone cuting you open moving everything around inside your stomach show him a video of the surgery and ask him whats so easy about it. then sit with him and say it would of took me this long to loose weight on my own if it worked and caused more damage to my kidney and with this its going to go twice as fast and less damage to my kidney so i could be here longerto look at you and be with our child. people dont understand how hard this is on us emotionally physically and mental. i was taught if you dont have anything good to say then we shouldnt say it.

Anyone who says that this is the easy way out has absolutely no idea what they are talking about. Sorry you are getting that from someone you need support from.

Tell him there's another "easy way out" called d-i-v-o-r-c-e! Help him see how that is no more reasonable than what he is saying to you... {:>} rd

Here's the thing, we have all most likely been on many diets over the years and have most likely lost and gain hundreds of pounds. The difficulty and pain of being so heavy that we do not fit into the norms of our society is hard enough. We have suffered plenty and worked hard every day to hold our heads up high and keep our self esteem at a reasonable place. We are survivors and we have suffered enough. We have been through illness and had to go on medications. I do not think we have ever taken the easy was out and if this surgery gives us a tool to help us get better, be happier, and be healthier, than great! To some, this is the easy way out, so instead of being insulted by their lack of education, we should embrace the fact that finally we are being given a break and will be able to finally succeed in a race that we have been losing until now. I know it is hard to deal with the negative comments, but once you are thin, no one will say them to you again. And even if they do , you can just smile. Be well and be happy. Take care!!