My parents are really close to me and they were against it the whole way. I finally had to tell my dad " this is really getting old, why cant you just trust me" when he would start up again. My mom was a wee more understanding, but she was doing it with weight watchers and full blown diabetes already so she thought i was easy way outing it. I told them both it was a decision that my surgeon and me made together about my health and that if the insurance company was backing me on it as well that it was obviously a solution that fit my needs. It wasnt until they were bringing me home from the hospital that they didnt stop ragging on me. (husband is overseas) At first i got the "why did you think you had to resort to something so drastic" after, but i saw that as a step into curiousity. Now that i'm almost six weeks post op, and i've lost almost 30 pounds since surgery on july 6th, they have stopped. They have seen me eat now, know i can have food just the same as before, but in HUMAN portions, not eating like a bear anymore. They see the smile on my face that wasnt there before, and they see that i'm happy. They are FINALLY supportive. My husband just keeps saying "dont get TOO skinny" but hey i'm 5'3"... I was MADE to be too skinny lol... He'll be happy once he see's that i'm happy too. Great leaders in the world werent always trusted and followed by everyone, this is where it is your turn to be the next great leader in the war on bad health. The others will follow your drum once they see its not as bad as they make it out to be. hang in there!

thanks suzie81 i needed that, im gonna eventually tell him when i have a surgery date, lol hell realize its something i need thanks again :)

Actually, you're both wrong. Him for not seeing what kind of support you need at this time, however you must realize that he may be genuinely concerned about the change in your health and the limiting activities you might not be able to enjoy in the future. And also you are wrong for not telling him. He may not like it, but you at least owe him the knowledge of knowing that you're changing your life. Keeping a secret like that is only going to last until about 2 days after surgery when he sees your scars and what you're choking down for food (ie., protein drinks)

Imagine one of you going out and signing a mortgage on a new $500,000 house without telling the other one. No matter how nice the house is, it shows a lack of trust and concern for the other person.

Without even telling your husband about the surgery, you're setting yourself up for a lonely future.

Not telling your best friend is one thing, but not telling your spouse something as significant at GBS is grounds for divorce in most states. I wish you all the best, but I really think you need to re-consider completely lying to your husband about the issue. That's not a solid foundation upon which to base a marriage.

Barefoot ,thanks but if i tell him he will try to do what he can so i would change my mind, i will let him know when i have the surgery date but if i tell him now then i wont end up having the surgery, i NEED this surgery....I am lucky enough to have my sister as my support and she has been great..

I don't have any support, either, and that may be a small part of the trouble I'm having now. I live with my 3 cats, and they don't care if I eat a truckload or not at all, as long as I don't forget them! My aunt understands the eating problem, but she thinks surgery is far too drastic. My friend has no understanding of compulsive eating and absolutely can't understand why I don't just "eat better". So when I need a big push to move forward, I get more support for staying where I am. And finally, I'm a bit concerned about what I would do after the surgery. I've learned that regardless of any pain I have, everything here is still my responsibility - especially the cats. I love them dearly, but regardless of how I feel or what surgery I've just had, I still have to shop for them, feed them, scoop their boxes, etc. Past surgeries have taught me that once I get home the recovery part had better be completed!

Having a support system is really important because there will be days and hours where you really need it. Especially the first week or two when you think you have just made the biggest mistake of your life. My husband does not support my decision, he thinks it is the easy way out as does one of my daughters. But I made it clear to both that they could keep those opinions to themselves and that I don't want to hear them. They are being surface supportive even if they disagree and I'll take what I can get. Knowing that they would not support me, I went out of my way to line up other support systems, local support groups, an obesity psychologist (the one who did the eval to get the surgery) and this online support group. Of them all, this online group is the best but the others are a big help too.

This can be a complicated situation. My best friend is still mad at me for having the surgery. She keeps gong off about how "you almost died." Blah, blah, blah. I tell her everytime that I am too ornery to go anywhere and she's stuck being my friend. Now my husband is making comments like "wish you never had that surgery" and "I want straight answers from that doctor Thursday." Yes, I have had some complications and I am still struggling to keep food down. Even so, I would not change anything. This surgery is going to save my life, put my uncontrollable diabetes in check and give me the chance to participate in life not watch from the sidelines. I had my surgery June 6, 2011. The weight is falling off. I know with a little more time I will be back in full gear and they will see that the surgery was a blessing not a curse.

This is a wonderful site and very supportive! We'll be your support person! Someone is always here to listen and cheer you on...I am so thankful for all of you!

To Barefoot:
I never said my husband doesnt know about my surgery, he is US NAVY and deployed and cant be here for me. My parents helped me and they are the ones that disagreed. He doesnt disaprove, he is just scared for a loved one. He wants for vanity reasons me to still have my T and A, he didnt know me as a teen I'll still have those lol... Its not too smart to hide the surgery from a close important, but to tell them "I'm doing this for me and its my body" isnt selfish. No one but your doctor and your self knows your medical needs better.

Just wanted to make sure I sounded clear on my part lol didnt want to start an epidemic of secret surgeries lol

I totally agree with BarefootD, your husband has the right and deserves to know what you are doing. Yes I understand that the surgery is about changing your life, but it will also affect him and impact his life in a very big way. A good marriage is based on Trust and trust is based on Truth.