I understand your decision to not tell your sons, etc until you had your date... however, this also added to the timeline for them as well. Your son who is struggling needs time to process the information and to understand why you are doing this as well as the procedure its self.

And then some still do not get it till they see the thinner and healthier you...

there is this site that is more geared towards spouses, but there might be some helpful information there for you.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/amos/cmsID,11852/mode,content/a,cms/

I do not have any input for the "how God intended you to be" comment other than the thought that God helps those who help themselves. :)

Many obese people have heart surgery, stints put in, etc, all of which may have been prevented if they were not obese.... And most folks feel this is ok and necessary to have done. Yet to have weight loss surgery to prevent this from happening is frowned upon by many.

I'd say educate him... and give him time. Maybe he could talk it over with his supportive brother?

May I ask... when is your surgery and how long has he known?

Best of luck! I am the mother of 3 sons , oldest 31, youngest 17.... Middle bear is 25... :) :)

I told them both on the eighth of June and my surgery in the 18th. They will be 32 and 30 in a few months. Thanks for the link. I told him the same thing about heart bypass. He is having a lot going on right now and that definitely amplifies it.

Quite frankly, by making ourselves obese eating processed food and fast food, diet coke and the like has already rearranged the way that God planned. Surgery is just a reset button to give us the chance for a do over and to live in a way our bodies were designed. Explain to your so that this is way for you get your life back, and I wish I could underline your. If he is not morbidly obese he has not clue what it feels like. The pain involved, both physical and emotional. There is a greater chance of dropping from a heart attack than dying during this surgery.

I do hope he finds peace with it... and I am sure in time he will. A big part of it is most likely fear of losing his mum :) It is hard at times to see the bigger picture, that he will lose you sooner to obesity vs later if you are healthier... Cause this is 'in his face' now.

Having other things on his plate makes it harder too no doubt. And I do agree with goldenrivers... this is for you, about you, and your life. yeah, for sure it affects him.... but bottom line, this is what you need to do. I am sure he will come around! Just give him time...

Other than my husband I got grief from all of my family members, even my aunt who had the surgery before....

I explained that God gave my surgeon the hands and the know how to fix what I had hurt.... That this is a tool that God gave doctors to help people who could not help themselves....

I also told them that I was more likely to get killed in an automobile, than I was to die during this surgery, or from complications.... That my knee was more likely to give out AGAIN, or my back to cripple me from the added weight... That I was more likely to have a heart attack from the cholesterol and rapid heart beat I was having....

Healthy people don't understand the strains that extra weight puts on our bodies..... I tried and tried to lose weight, but because of back issued and knee problems, my ability to exercise was very limited.... Since losing 74 pounds I am able to exercise, walk without being out of breathe, and enjoy things in life so much more...

It sounds to me like your son is scared of losing you.... And I am sorry about that.... But after your surgery I hope he will come around and see the changes in you and support you... My family has done that now that I have had it....

Best of luck on Tuesday.... I hope to see you around and please let us know how things go for you... God Bless!!!!!!