Sorry you are dealing with that kind of support. Perhaps there will be some info at the orientation that will help him understand. And maybe he won't ever get it. You may have to come to terms with that. Glad your mom is giving you good support. We'll be here for you, too!!

Linda

What do you do about it? Exactly what you did...come here and rant to people who do "get it". My parents didn't understand or support my decision either, however, they do support me now, and were there when I needed them thankfully. Some people will never understand, and no amount of explaining will change that. Surround yourself with positive people, and let your success speak for itself.

I am still pre op - My surgery is in 38 days..but many people see GBS as the easy way out or totally unneccessary.

Obesity is a huge struggle and unfortuniatly some of us get to the point where exercise isn't possible, maybe even harmful. Eating less may cut a few pounds, but unless we get our heart rate up, it doesn't drop anymore than we want it to.

Some people (like my husband)can loose weight in the blink of an eye and not think twice about it. Most of us - Well atleast those on this message board, it's not that simple. Many of us are moms who have had multiple births, multiple weight gains, multiple attempts at weight loss, and multiple failures which usually result in more weight gain.

Remember, not everyone will understand or agree with your decision, even your family, but you have to do what is right for you. People say about putting yourself first, and I know as a mother that is one of the hardest things to do, but I am doing it because I am a mother and I love my family and I want to be around for a long time.

Remember this is for YOU, YOUR KIDS, and YOUR FAMILY. Good Luck!! : )

Unfortunately, people who haven't struggled with their weight don't usually "get" it. Once a person hits a certain weight, metabolic syndrom sets in and loosing the excess fat (and keeping it off) becomes almost impossible without medical intervention.

I love this from Dr. Oz...

"And he has no qualms about saying he's an advocate for gastric bypass surgery, which he hopes will grow in the near future as a tool for in helping to fight obesity: "Ithink gastric bypass surgery will play a big role. We probably do only 1% of the gastric bypass surgeries we should do."

"Listen, if you're one hundred pounds overweight at age fifty, you have the same mortality rate as if you have a solid cancer. Would you operate for cancer? Yeah. So if you cannot lose that weight, get one of these procedures. You have to do it with counseling and full awareness of what you're doing, of course. But if you get people to start losing 5% of their excess body weight, you're really taking a big whack out of the two-thirds of Americans."

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2011/08/dr-oz-advocates-more-gastric-bypass-surgery-/1

Your father may or may not ever come around. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Hang in there!

JJ

He is afraid for you and this is prolly the best he can do to express it. I'll bet he will be really proud of you when he can let down and just see you happy and healthy! rd

He just loves you.
He is in most basic form right that it is a mathematical equation. My surgeon and nutritionist have both said that.
What is hard for anyone that is not afflicted with our issues is for them to understand them. It's like telling a smoker just dont smoke. Unless your a smoker you don't get it. Some people are not capable of thinking about things like weight loss out side of their own box.
Try to understand his perspective and know that he loves you and wants what's best for you. Obviously you would not be considering surgery if it was not your last resort. It is not something we do off the cuff and takes great commitment to follow through with. He can not see that yet. He will probly be supportive once the shock of the news wears off a bit. I still get the "why did you do that to yourself" My family was similar. But they completly and totally support me now. You just keep doing what is right for you! Your not doing this for him your doing for you. It sounds like even though he may not agree with your decision and thats his right, it sounds like he is going to support you in YOUR decision. That's really all you can ask.
Good luck to you and come here often for support. Everyone here is on the same journey and there's sooo much love and support here.
All my best to you!!! :)

Your father will likely come around in time. This is for you and you have the right attitude and will do what it takes to be successful. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. He shared his. Good luck with your journey and we will all be here to support you.

My parents would probably not have approved either. I lost my mom 16 yeras ago and my dad almost 11 years ago. I do think about what they would have said, but in the end, I know I would have done it anyway. Its important to be able to keep my weight off now and regardless of what their opinions would have been, I know Im doing the right thing. Do this for you.

Sorry. That's frustrating, but you have to think about what you need! You might have to do a little "tough love" with your dad. This is a journey to get healthy and you and your adorable kids are the beneficiaries :) Best wishes sweetie - stay strong!

When my sister had hers done back in the 90s our Dad did not think she should of had it done but he did traval to be with her. After seeing how her life changed and seen what a difference it made he planned on doing it also a couple of years ago. His plans changed and wasn't able to do it do to finding out he had kidney cancer and his health has gone down hill from there. But I also have a cousin, neice, and myself that has had it done and he is so happy for all of us. I know it is hard right now but give it time he might come around. I wish you the best.

Hang in there. Your parents always want what THEY think is best for us. Not always what we need or even want.
My mom was so negative about this when I first told her. My sister was downright hostile about it. I told them that they can have their opinion but it will not change my decision.
My mom is now so proud of me. My sister still thinks I am going to gain all the wt back on like her best friend did. I am committed to this and I will NOT.
Smile, This is the best decision you are making for you!
JILL

A lot of people won't get it now. They will get it when they see you succeed. I'm down 100 lbs since my surgery in April (down 120 lbs from Aug 2010). People are amazed at the results and you will be too!

I think he is just concerned too. I can't say I had that happen with family members. I don't have my parents here on earth any more. And my brother who lives hours from here I did not tell until last minute or so. I am thinking when it gets underway and sees things are going well he will be just fine.