i would suggest something tempting to eat, if he is tempted then thats great but if not he wont feel to bad about it

prayer with you and your best friends father

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oh Hope, I know this is hard for you because you are such a nuturing person who is there for us all. But yes I agree with dandelion, a nice batch of home made cookies or something so simple, remember the simple things in life are what means the most. Maybe you can find out his favorite cookie or pie or cake, something that has been his favorite, but most of all remember in this situation it is the giveing of yourself, maybe something to help his wife out. God bless you and your friends family for strength .
Hugs to ya kiddo
Rhonda

Hope it sounds like your doing exactly what is best...You are giving of yourself! Time with someone is so much more important that material things. If you hate going empty handed a uplifting book (joke book or a book on one of his hobbies may a beautiful picture book). Of course, we all know Praying for this family is your greatest gift. But sweetie you are already doing the best by being with them when they need your most!

This is hard.... But when my BF was in hospice at 42 dying from lung cancer... I gave myself... i sat with her, held her hand,,, talked to her,, may have been stupid stiff but i talked.... I think just by going and sitting and talking and listening to him and showing you care is the best gift you can give,,,, materials dont work in situations like this,,,, just my opinion... compassion and love is worth more then anything,,, saying its ok and I love you goes a long way,,, sorry didnt mean to get so deep...

Your best hug....and a hand to hold. These are the things people need and want to remember.........to know someone is there.

when my father -in-law was dying of cancer - he was cold, I made him a quick tie blanket, brought him some socks- extra plush. Some lotion and chap stick, a CD of his favorit music.

hope this helps, you are in my prayers.

Hope,
this is very sad.. So sorry to hear about it.. When my father in law was on hospice with lung cancer two years ago, I made him his favorite foods, and we put together a phote album of him and family members he was close to, memories for him to hold..

Becca

Hope I am so sorry you have to go through this for a friend. You are a good friend to him. He knows you are there for him. Give him the love of your friendship to the end. Reassure him you will be there for his wife when she needs someone to listen to her as she goes through grieving. Let him know you will be there to help in his absence if you can. That would help a dying friend's mind as to how she will manage without him.Be a sympathetic ear now as he completes hi journey and try to be strong yourself. Material things don't really mean much at such a time-Your letting them lean on you now does help. You be strong, you are a very good friend if you can see them both through this time. God Bless

I wrote this last night before I went to bed and woke up to all these great ideas and wonderful warm support.
I wish my friend had a group like you guys to turn to. I have tried to get her involved in DS but she really just doesn't understand that online friendships can be wonderful and rewarding.
I understand that being there is best so thats why I am going to visit today.. His family is there for him around the clock but someone needs to be there for them.
This is a devoted family man so I am liking the picture ideas also he's probably freezing. I know Walmart makes blankets made up of family photos. This would be both practical and sentimental I think it would be nice for him to rest with his special blanket literally wrapped in their love. I will have to act fast but I don't think it takes them too too long to make them. The hardest part will be getting a picture of all of them together although I am sure they have one.
I will also work on his favorite treat and bring that in. You are right, even if he doesn't eat it at least it's there for him.
I am working on planning all the food for after the service and of course sending a spray of flowers when the time comes.
So alll there is left now is to get myself down to the hospital to see if anyone needs my help and begin to say goodbye to a very very good man.
Thank-you all so much,You guys are amazing, XOXO Sincerely Vickie

@msdebutante This is exactly what he wants. To be assured that everyone and everything he loves will be taken care of. I now know what to say, Thank-you again, Hope

At this point, I would think things that nurture his soul would be the most appropriate. What about writing a letter about your best friend and telling him what a wonderful person he raisedor a framed picture of you and your best friend for his bedside? That way, it can be something for your friend to treasure once her father no longer needs it.

However, even when you go empty handed, your very presence is a precious gift.

JJ

I think the best thing you can give him is to listen to him if he wants to talk. It might be easier for him to talk you you than to someone he may be trying to protect. Give him a chance, just visit and be willing to listen. You can even ask him how he's feeling, is he ready. Giving him that opening and the tacit okay to talk may be very helpful to him at this time.

I often give a japanese maple or flowering tree, that can be enjoyed and then planted in a favorite place later. Given the season and your geographics, an evergreen or holly might be more approprite.

Many years later, on the lawn of my late uncle, a dogwood, planted in his memory, is about to bloom, reminding everyone of this man's life, every spring!

I checked out the family photo quilt idea at Walmart ans it will take 2-3 weeks : (
I can still bring banana cake (His favorite) but I know he can't eat it.
Socks are probably quite welcome
However RD may really be onto something as Don really loves plants and would really be into the idea of planting this in their newly purchased yard.
I will checkout some ideas for Northren Ontario. I like the idea of the plant flowering on the anniversary of his passing, if would bring my BF a lot of comfort for years to come.
This is so hard isn't it
My own parents died suddenly within three months of each other unexpectedly in 2000. I wanted to die right along with them.
It was traumatizing.
I try to reach back to those memories to put myself in her place and be there for her and her family.

time.... I would give him time.. I can only imagine the comfort one dying must get from being around people that love him and his family....even if awkward... let hime talk..........and you may find that is not what he wants but at least you tried..........any old pics of your friend he might appreciate? he would probably love to see them