Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group
Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.
So, I am hurting pretty significantly right now and being very introspective, but need you all so I have to post this...
I, more or less, ended my relationship with work hottie last night. And I didn it purposefully and with full intention. And it wasnt self-sabotage because I am dealing with my fat girl demons (although I still am, but they werent at play in this.)
It was self preservation.
But I dont know why, when I am sure I did what is best for me and my feelings in the end, this has to hurt so badly. I am hurt because of what I did, I am hurt because I know I hurt him ... I am so miserable right now it takes all I have not to just break out in random tears. And, believe me people, I AM NOT THAT GIRL.
Now, you want to know why ... work hottie has a child on the way. He got one of his ex's pregnant back in October (before there was a me and him...) in a moment of doing what he shouldnt have been, and he knows it and regrets it. He told me this, clarified what he wanted his relationship to be with his ex (non-existant as possible) and his child (active to the extent possible) and I REALLY thought I could handle it.
I cant. It has become more and more apparent to him that he is going to have to have more significant interactions with the mother - they barely speak and he knows that if he is going to have any role in the childs life, he is going to have to change that. So, when we discused this on Tuesday I knew in my rational mind that he is absolutely correct about that - and also knew I wanted him to do what was necessary in order to have a healthy and happy relationship with his child.
But, the thing is, the fact that his relationship with the ex is an unknown and, as such, is very volatile right now coupled with the fact that the idea of him spending time with and interacting with any woman on any significant level who isnt me KILLS ME, just made me have a come to Jesus with myself and know that I have to (at least for now) walk away. I just know I cant emotionally handle it right now ... and maybe after the baby comes ... in six months or whatever... that will change, roles will be defined, maybe I can better deal with it then. Maybe not. Who knows. Complications.
But I feel so empty. My heart is so hurt. And I am so lost right now... and part of me wishes I had never said anything to him last night - while the other part of me really wants to believe I did the right thing for myself in the long term. I just wish my emotions would follow the latter and not the former ...
I, more or less, ended my relationship with work hottie last night. And I didn it purposefully and with full intention. And it wasnt self-sabotage because I am dealing with my fat girl demons (although I still am, but they werent at play in this.)
It was self preservation.
But I dont know why, when I am sure I did what is best for me and my feelings in the end, this has to hurt so badly. I am hurt because of what I did, I am hurt because I know I hurt him ... I am so miserable right now it takes all I have not to just break out in random tears. And, believe me people, I AM NOT THAT GIRL.
Now, you want to know why ... work hottie has a child on the way. He got one of his ex's pregnant back in October (before there was a me and him...) in a moment of doing what he shouldnt have been, and he knows it and regrets it. He told me this, clarified what he wanted his relationship to be with his ex (non-existant as possible) and his child (active to the extent possible) and I REALLY thought I could handle it.
I cant. It has become more and more apparent to him that he is going to have to have more significant interactions with the mother - they barely speak and he knows that if he is going to have any role in the childs life, he is going to have to change that. So, when we discused this on Tuesday I knew in my rational mind that he is absolutely correct about that - and also knew I wanted him to do what was necessary in order to have a healthy and happy relationship with his child.
But, the thing is, the fact that his relationship with the ex is an unknown and, as such, is very volatile right now coupled with the fact that the idea of him spending time with and interacting with any woman on any significant level who isnt me KILLS ME, just made me have a come to Jesus with myself and know that I have to (at least for now) walk away. I just know I cant emotionally handle it right now ... and maybe after the baby comes ... in six months or whatever... that will change, roles will be defined, maybe I can better deal with it then. Maybe not. Who knows. Complications.
But I feel so empty. My heart is so hurt. And I am so lost right now... and part of me wishes I had never said anything to him last night - while the other part of me really wants to believe I did the right thing for myself in the long term. I just wish my emotions would follow the latter and not the former ...
You have analyzed this from all aspects and I can see why you came to your decision. I have nothing more to add to what everyone else has said so I will just leave it with: Thank you for sharing.
Keeping you in my thoughts,
Paula
You need to do what is best for you right now, and though it may hurt, the wounds will heal and you will be all the stronger. The right thing for you will come along when you're least expecting it. Just take care of yourself and do what you need to do.
Just sayin'.
Krista