I am sorry that you are sad. Remember that you are not alone, evn if sometimes it feels that way. You have your DS family here. If you would like to chat look me up.

Sally

I feel your pain. I'm just now learning to step back and give my kids and other family members the distance I need, so that my feelings are not stomped on anymore. This is our time...and I think a lot of times people who have watched us live for everyone but ourselves hate to see us change. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you...take care.

Valerie

I get it Hope!! I know you are a very positive person and continuously give to others. At some point you need to be selfish and think of yourself. It's hard to continue to fight our desire to comfort ourselves with food. My best advice...get out of the house and stay active. Less thinking time and less time to obsess over what you want to shove in your mouth.

You are such a great person and deserve the very best. I am sorry that other's in your life can't see that right now!!

All my best, Chris xoxo

We can't save everyone, just ourself! It's a very admirable trait to help others but when it interfers with our own mental health then we have to revaluate what "helping others" really means. We have to be our own best friend first, before we can truly learn to help others and I know this is really hard when you're a "giver" and not a "taker" but I'm sure you've certainly came to far to let others interfere with you own happiness! You deserve all the happiness that you try and provide to other people, so take it, it's yours!

Thanks for your support. I knew I could come to you with this.
Yesterday I had to step back from no less than 4 people who live with me and allow them to spin out of control to see just how selfish their behaivior is and how unfair it has been.
Drawing my own inner strength and new found confidence I stood my ground. I spoke my truth quietly and clearly and let it lie.
This was very effective.
This may not seem GBS related but it really is because I have become a different person.
Previously I would have joined in on the madness, exploded and them ran off to my closet of choice devouring vast quantities of comfort food in an attempt to self medicate.
Yesterday I did not do that once. I was consiously aware of each emotion as I was going through it and dealt with each one as it came refusing to be overwhelmed by it.
As someone here once said, this journey is so much more than a trip down the size chart.
Boy, is it ever!
I am sure that someone here can relate as many obese people cope with their feelings with food.
You guys are so amazing, thanks again for being there. XO, Hope

Pat yourself on the back for handling the situation with grace yesterday!
You shouldn't be punished b/c of the bad choices other people make. I know it is hard to step back and let the ones we love make their own mistakes.
But, you must watch out for your own health ( both physical and emotional)
Congrats on not turning to food for comfort. It would have bit you on the butt anyway!! Lol!!

What I understand you saying is you are creating healthy emotional boundaries for yourself so you do not feel drained.

Good for you!

What you are doing is creating new and healthy space for yourself regardless of what the circumstance.

This can only benefit you and build a better and more sustainable life.

I wish you every sucess.

Do not regret what you did in the past. Learn from it. Realize you made those choices under different circumstances and now they no longer work for you. You deserve more. You demand better.

I cheer you on as you proceed forward in this journey.

Hope let it go....Let go and let God....Please don't allow anyone to do this to you. I have done it and lived it and we deserve so much better. If it is a marriage walk away. If it is a child, omg, try to look the other way. You have to take care of you and you are the only one that is going to do that. Keep repeating the serentity pray. When you get to stinkin thinkin literally yell at yourself to stop. I am praying for you and I have been where you are. Take care of YOU!

Hang in there, HOpe.

I'm convinced that the most important part of our healing journey (and it sounds to me like you have reached this point) is to get in touch with our souls and find out what we really want in our lives. Then we have to respect and love ourselves enough to go after it.

You know you aren't satisfied. Might be a good time to ask youself what you really, really want: in work, in lifestyle, in relationships, in everything. Then begin to take steps in those directions.

You deserve to be happy. But the fact is, we are responsible for our own happiness. No one else can give it to us. So start now to make yourself happy. It's the part of the Declaration of Independence that always resonates with me: "the pursuit of happiness". It always reminds me that it's something we have to go after, not something that is handed to us. We have to work to get it. But I believe to the bottom of my American heart that it is achievable.

Go for it, woman!

Great post.

It gets to the issue, what do we do when we no longer have food to numb all the crap in life -- or even fill the empty spaces. I've definitely felt your passion about handling life's twists and turns.

We cope with it every day. Every day.

Thanks for sharing Hope. Seems we grow a spine when we lose some of our protective padding! Stuff i was willing to put up with or overlook before. . . Not anymore!!! Now the trick is not to kill anyone in the process!!!! Lol!!! Try having two post op women in the same small house when the issues come up:-O All i can say is that our couples therapist will be having a booming year.

Joy used the word first - boundaries. There's a good book called "Boundaries" by John Townsend and Henry Cloud. Less than $5 used on amazon. Worth a read for sure. Another personal favorite kinda related is "The Dance of Anger" by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. $3 used. Personally i can use all the help i can get. These have helped.

By the way... Thanks for being there for yourself! Peace, Misa