I could not agree more, and that was very politely said.

None of us came to this life change lightly nor should we have. Sugar coated answers help no one. If that is what was wanted, I'm sure there are people in your daily lives whom you could have asked. You come here because you want honesty based on all of our collective experiences. So don't knock it, when that is exactly what you get.

sugar you speak quite eloquently .......I will be contacting you the next time something I have to write sounds more like a sailor in a bar then a post speech letter for some input. :)


I know right? They come here 3 days away from surgery knowing nothing ...........they have picked up no literature nor have they researched it on the web............I devoured everything I could find for years preop........

They are willing to give up nothing for their health I and many friends who had to travel for our surgery centers gave up anything we had to be able to do this. I had to travel 3 hours one way for my appointments a couple times ALONE and I have agoraphobia! I and my "team" set it up so I had people to call .......I meet with a friend who lived there once on her lunch...I busted my butt.....Im not unique you all know what that Is like......old and new the ones who stick are the ones who want to work. We listened because we needed a healthier more active happy life so we don't die. It seems to be this entitlement mentality some of the new people have and the this is a diet attitude.

I know I am sensitive because as you all know I didn't get my happy ending "YET" and were at 3 years post op. I got the weight loss that I am more then grateful for don't get me wrong. Some of my comorbidities are back so the medications are back.....genetics trump bariatric the doc says. I know you all have listened to me supported me but I never quite know if what I have to say to a newbie is proper. Im not the only one who hit complications don't get me wrong but hell some of these newbies would friekin fold if they got a stritcher sp? let alone internal hernias, blockages oh and food doubling back in there blind limb for 2 years.

I'm 5 yrs out and actively read posts, however, I don't post/comment often because I'm more of an "old timer" than newbie. However, I did want to comment on this post.

SugarFreeMe, I think that you have politely described some of the newer posts.

I did not have serious complications (thankfully) but it did take 4 attempts to get my surgery scheduled and completed. At that time I was frustrated and very angry that it couldn't be done as soon as possible. Looking back, I am actually glad that I did have to wait.

The waiting period gave me time to realize that this is not, and I repeat, not an "easy fix" to obesity. It is a tool that needs to be used properly in order for it to it to work to it's fullest potential.

Some people (not all) go into this with a blinders on and just want to jump into this surgery for "instant weight loss". I have to admit, that at the beginning of my journey I was one of these people.

I am very very lucky that I have had no complications from the surgery. Every day is a struggle for me to stay in the head game and not go back to old habits.

GBS has become so "main stream" that I feel the seriousness of this surgery is sometimes overlooked and the complications of not following your pre/post op instructions are not being absorbed by all persons having the surgery.

Is this the fault of the patient? The doctor? Maybe both?

This site has literally been a lifesaver for me. We're not doctors or medically trained personnel, but people walking the same journey. When you ask for advice, you need to be open to all and then sift through the information.

I do believe that no one on this site would ever give advice to do any one harm. Sometimes our passion is strong and our words convey this.

I had to add this because alot of times I have found that the people who say they won't sugar coat things, etc. are actually "Control Freaks" I have lots of experience with feedbacks, etc. and this is what I have found. Control freaks have a very hard time admitting to this as a problem for them (I know this because I used to be one and strive not to be that type of person anymore). We can only control ourselves and this I know today and have let go of trying to control others. When I was in CONTROL I was always telling people " well, you need tough love and I'm not sugar coating things" this is a way to AGAIN try to control othes. It takes a long time to understand and admit to being a control freak but I have been there and done that and today know to stay away from those comments and realize that I am the only person I can change today. Love and support work for me. This doesn't mean I don't want to hear the truth that is exactly what I want to hear but I don't need anyone jamming it down my throat.

I can be a happier person not being in control today and wish all best in this journey!

Oh just one additinal comment. I am a nurse and very aware of the restrictions, etc. of this procedure before joining this group as well as many other medical co workers who I consult with so I am not at all clueless of anything but was just hoping to find some support online in addition to other sources as this is a huge life change

living I just wanted to give you a pat on the back.......my gosh I think I would of given up if I had had mine rescheduled that many times...and 5 years of success you rock!!!!! I hope I do as well at my 5 year mark.

aboyen I would rather be a control freak and tell my story in its entire truth then to lie and have someone die because they did not research or know what to do properly.

see I did have complications serious ones that my surgeon supposedly at one of the best bariatric centers in my state blew me off several times post op..............my new surgeon and my GP who took over my care to help me get nutrition to stay in (someone had to) both said I was at a point where I would of died without the revision when I got it. cant sugar coat that anyway. I thank the people who are so tolerant of me here. truth is hard it is actually hard to tell contrary to popular belief.

Im not quite sure how one becomes a control freak on line maybe you are referring to off line not sure. If a person comes to a message board they get what they ask for and if you don't want it don't ask is my view. of course I'm old so what do I know im nuttier then a fruit cake too lol

well everyone has his/her own opinion and opinions are like noses - everyone has one..haha....I personally will take what I can use and leave the rest. I still feel firm in the fact that the TRUTH doesn't need to come accross harshly and from people who need to be a certain way in order to feel better about themselves. I also still feel everyone should be blessed in his/her own struggles. I feel so blessed to not have to control whether it be in person or online in order to feel better about myself. God bless us all!

I'm a "newbie", just finished 6 months with nutrition and waiting to hear from surgical team for initional get together. I want the absolute, unvarnished, truth. I HATEEEEEE suprises!!! I'm sure I will have tons of questions for everyone and if I didnt expect and want honest I wouldn't ask... jus' sayin'. Still waiting on surgeon but I do have some really dumb questions about this supprt group. There seem to be a lot of words that have been created by ya'll that I need to learn, like getting under 200 lbs, (can't wasit!!!!)...one something? I read several others but my mind is blank right now. They will come...

Re-visiting more after some time off, and a few years out, I agree. I was surprised at some of the more "in denial" types of comments I've seen.

Thankfully, I still see everyone trying to be respectful in their comments and advice. That's why I keep coming back. The best support, even if it's NOT what I wanted to hear, EVER!

I'm an old newbie I have been around awhile but i am still pre-op...feeling very determined this time and I think we "newbies" need to hear the harsh realities...sometimes the truth hurts...but reality is the only way we will succeed...so to the other newbies...suck it up listen and learn!!!

I personally don't think the pure truth is the same as being harsh when speaking or being controling...I in my heart can't see how it is possible to be controling on a msg board. Maybe in some ways Im blind to things.

New people no question is dumb. The only question that can be answered is the one that a brave person asks. You guys are on a journey that can have many suprising turns. No matter what they are embrace them. I think the term one of you were looking for is onederland ? Sp? Its when your weight is in the 199 or lower .

I LOVE the way you put this! I am someone that wants the TRUTH, be it good, bad or indifferent. If I ask a question, please be nothing but honest with me. I can only learn from your experiences that way. I am almost a year out and still learn from all of you. Please keep the honesty coming!!

I almost feel sorry for people that only expect rainbows and unicorns in life. If they never learn that life can be very hard, how are they ever going to grow? Harsh? I don't think so, but I am sure someone will. Oh well.

oh but bouvier cant i just have one unicorn? lol *sigh* back to bed for this grounded in life old lady...........thank you for this thread i did from time to time feel bad .....like maybe i should shut up not tell what i have experienced............like maybe i have no right to speak out to people about being prepared for everything............thank you

I still want the unicorn lol

SugarFreeMe I am smiling because I have been here for 4 years and this kind of issue naturally comes up time and time again. Sometimes people just feel the need to defend vigorously ;)

I am 5.5 months post op, and have lost 91 pounds.

I followed my NUT's guidelines to the "T"...and have been successful.

So, my advice, from my personal experience is to just follow what they tell you, and the weight loss will happen.

When you are early on, in your journey, and follow everything exactly, the weight will melt off you!! SOmetimes, we do have "stalls", but don't get discouraged, it will happen!

Good luck to everyone,

Boo