Yes I have experienced the same! The new body, new lifestyle, etc. is a major adjustment for us. I also think that our hormones are totally out of whack for a year at least after surgery and rapid weight loss. I have been dealing with depression since about 9 months out. My surgery was May 28, 2013. In the beginning when I was losing weight fast, it was fun and exciting but once I reached my goal, it was like there was nothing to look forward to... I know this sounds weird but that is how I felt. My husband was not happy with the amount of weight I lost and commented on it all the time. Our relationship is still an issue, weight loss is not the only issue with us... Exercise does seem to help me when I can force myself to do it! I know I need to connect with more friends and get out and do things more often. I'm glad you backed off of the alcohol. That can become a problem very easily. Hang in there Amber!! I hope things get better for you soon.

You have my sympathies.

First of all, please understand that what you are experiencing is not uncommon.

When we being to take care of ourselves, very often we discover that an important relationship is no longer working because it depended upon us putting others ahead of ourselves. Or it could be that your partner is threatened by the new you.

Depression is also common because you may be grieving having given up old "security blankets" that being overweight gave you. Or you could be grieving the years you spent being overweight.

Whatever the reason, I strongly encourage you to see out a psychologist who can help you work through your emotions and determine what it is that you really want.

Depression is a real medical condition and you should not ignore the pain it is causing you.

Also, it is really common for people to substitute one addition (food) for another (alcohol). I congratulate you for recognizing that risk and backing away from it. That is absolutely awesome self-awareness and self-love. Good going.

Now, just take the next step and fully take care of yourself. If you choose talk threapy with a psychologist or counselor, most of them can work with your primary care physican to have an anti-depressant prescribed if they believe that you would benefit from one. However, be aware that some medications can interfere with weight loss. If you are still not at your goal weight, you might want to carefully discuss prescription options before you get one prescribed for you.

Good luck. :)

Thanks guys! You don't know how much it means to know that I'm not alone with this experience.

I echo Farmgirl's advice, and want to congratulate yourself on recognizing trouble before you got into it with the alcohol.
I'm sorry you're going through this. My marriage ended last year too, not due so much to the weight loss, but big changes tend to precipitate changes to weak or stressed relationships and situations in our lives.
Especially in the first year, you're also dealing with all the hormones and toxins that was stored in your fat cells on top of the stress and excitement from a new life style and changes.
Please don't think you're in this alone. We care, and finding some support for yourself from your medical team or therapist should help you get through this and into better days. Blessings.

This too shall past as they say. I love all the comments. Hormones, menopause, adjustments. What helps me pull up and out of depression is checking my thoughts and words that I put out there. Talking to God and moving around helps too. Just throwing in my two cents... I read somewhere that Addiction comes from guilt. I just know have had in the past and still work through shame and rejection. Just know God Loves you. You matter get help and hang with this group.
Peace and Blessings...

Hey, hun! Yes, as the others have said, what you are going through isn't uncommon. Personally, I struggled during year three. We didn't get to be obese because we were emotionally healthy. It is very common to substitute one addiction (food) with another (exercise, alcohol, sex, shopping, etc).

Regarding the marriage, the psychologist with my surgeon's office said that the weight loss made good marriages stronger and bad marriages worse. There is a high divorce rate for those with major weight loss.

Farm girl's advice is solid! Please take care of yourself!

JJ

My husband is going through this right now. He does not recognize himself. All he sees when he looks in the mirror is darkness. He does not know how to love me, and we are separated at this time because of this surgery...he has depression, has not desire to work on the home we bought several months ago. I do not know how to help him. But God does and this is what I am counting on. God's love and strength to pull him through. No one told us this could happen. I am upset with the lack of information the doctor failed to provide.

This is not uncommon at all. Farm always has the best advice. Good luck!! I'll be 6 years out next month. It does get easier.

I agree with everything said so far. I would add that Omega 3 fish oil helps me with depression instead of medication.

I also suggest view this video for marriage problems: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2fcNFHDzAE

I was on meds for depression and bipolar before my surgery and after I got it a lot of the symptoms came back because my body wasn't digesting the pills properly. I had to get liquid depakote which was absolutely disgusting. Although if you didn't have any depression before, it could just be that losing the weight is making you deal with emotional issues that caused you to gain the weight in the first place. Since my surgery I have had to face a lot of hard truths about myself and why I gained all the weight. Eating food as comfort is a way of dealing with stress and depression. I realized that I used food as a way of making myself happy when I was sad because all the other aspects of my life seemed too overwhelming.

I am going for my first meeting with the surgeon and there is a part of me that is running through this shame cycle..." I should have been able to handle this, how did I let it get so far..." etc. I am afraid to be hungry and afraid that it won't be enough food. I'm not usually a pessimistic person but I am reaching out because I need the support. I have been overweight all my life. At 38, my knees and hips hurt and I would say I feel more like 58. I could use some comfort but also the real deal. Thanks for all your comments. Sharing your stories has been helpful.