Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group
Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.
I am 4 months out now and have talked extensively with my family on my new diet. Low fat, no sugar ect ect. Well my husband absolutely refuses to make any changes so that I can eat with the family. He still buys pasta meals. Today he is making ribs, and he makes them so that the meat just falls off the rib, so I feel I would be able to eat it with little problem. The meat is tender enough. So I ask did you make them all with sauce? No, no sauce just seasoning. Well the #1 ingredient in the store bought season is sugar. So no ribs for me tonight again. I am getting a little tired of this. Granted I made the choice, but my kids at 11 and 14 are perfectly willing to make changes so that we can all eat the same thing, but not my husband. And it is not like he has to do without anything, just adapt some of the recipes and seasoning. ( and he could use a little adaptation himself......)
It is going to be a long winter with him home....
It is going to be a long winter with him home....
Early on, I decided that this was MY change, and no one else's. I don't expect anyone else in the house to eat differently because of the changes I've chosen to make. My daughter is a vegetarian, so I work to make meals that she likes and have enough protein for both of us. My husband is healthy, but eats crap - I can't change him or the choices he makes. I work really hard to find something that fits my needs wherever we eat - I'm usually pretty successful.
I do know that my daughter calls me out occasionally if I talk too much about foods I can/can't tolerate, etc. While it's a life changing process for us, those around us get tired of hearing about it..... I would agree - in the case of the ribs, snag some before he sauces them next time, but don't make it a big deal.
My husband doesn't even know how to boil water, so meals at home aren't an issue. Where we do disagree is how often we eat out. He loves to eat out but I usually have a hard time finding something that works for me. So we've compromised by letting me pick the restaurants where I know they'll prepare food without much fat or let me order a child's portion.
My husband also loves brunch - bacon, french toast, all the sweet stuff. So once a week I make him something that he really loves and I enjoy that HE enjoys my cooking, even though I can't share it with him.
Someone also noted that he may be insecure about you getting skinny. When I lost a bunch of weight ten years ago, my husband sabotaged my efforts becasue he was afraid I wouldn't want him anymore. Before surgery we both went to meet with a therapist so he could vent his concerns. Could your hubby be worried?
If your husband is not willing to change, then my suggestion would be that you cook for yourself... I realize it is not easy to eat differently from others, but I tend to bring my own food to get togethers and I am more than willing to fix my own meals.... I made the decision to have this surgery, and I truly don't expect others to change because of me...
I will say there is very little junk food in my house, or snack food, and what is in the house for my husband and his son are put in a closet out of sight for me.... I know its there, but I chose not to go in there... And if I have company, I will provide the type of foods they like to eat... This is MY journey, and only I can make it successful....
Don't get me wrong, I love having support from my husband and family and friends.... It does make it easier, but I told myself when having this surgery, that I would have to do what is best for me... And if others couldn't or wouldn't support me, then it was up to me to do what is right....
I hope you and your hubby can talk at some point, and he will hear what you are saying.... I am sure this isn't easy for you to live with...
Best of luck, and a big hug to you....