Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group
Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.
Ok, Im a list kind of person so its hard for me to work through my own head games as it may be for other newbies. I think Lcat is inspirational and I want to start off with 2 things on her list that happens during our journey:
30. As you backtrack through time, weighty memories surface, usually during plateaus. Working through them helps to move through the plateaus, and the whole journey, faster. When you hit a pause, look at what was going on in your life when you were at this weight before. You are releasing more than fat. You are releasing years of weighty emotions, memories and pain that you have stuffed or eaten: worry, anger, resentment, grief, sadness, guilt, fear, drama, victimhood, self- punishment, fears of the future, what ifs, old patterns, old beliefs, and attitudes that no longer serve you, etc., etc.
31. Questions to ask yourself during plateaus: What am I afraid to let go of? What am I hanging on to? What was going on in my life when I weighed ___, that I dont want to address or look at? What old attitudes, beliefs, or thought patterns am I resisting releasing? What is it about succeeding with this that scares me? What emotions do I want to stuff my face with?
So now my newbie question is regarding the head games and head stuff and healing solutions and healing acknowledgements that we may be facing through our upcoming journey and how to get a head start now while pre-op.
I realize that this may be too personal for some and that this is always an ongoing issue during our journey so there may not be a resolution, but anything that would or could help us to get us jump started would be appreciated. Also, this doesnt need to be listed from your own personal experience, but some of you have been post op for a while and have heard a lot of stories. And Im not sure Im wording this properly, but I guess what may be easiest is to list the stories and resolutions on what may be some of the head issues/games that we may be facing, and if possible, suggestions on how to work through them?
Am I making any sense?
30. As you backtrack through time, weighty memories surface, usually during plateaus. Working through them helps to move through the plateaus, and the whole journey, faster. When you hit a pause, look at what was going on in your life when you were at this weight before. You are releasing more than fat. You are releasing years of weighty emotions, memories and pain that you have stuffed or eaten: worry, anger, resentment, grief, sadness, guilt, fear, drama, victimhood, self- punishment, fears of the future, what ifs, old patterns, old beliefs, and attitudes that no longer serve you, etc., etc.
31. Questions to ask yourself during plateaus: What am I afraid to let go of? What am I hanging on to? What was going on in my life when I weighed ___, that I dont want to address or look at? What old attitudes, beliefs, or thought patterns am I resisting releasing? What is it about succeeding with this that scares me? What emotions do I want to stuff my face with?
So now my newbie question is regarding the head games and head stuff and healing solutions and healing acknowledgements that we may be facing through our upcoming journey and how to get a head start now while pre-op.
I realize that this may be too personal for some and that this is always an ongoing issue during our journey so there may not be a resolution, but anything that would or could help us to get us jump started would be appreciated. Also, this doesnt need to be listed from your own personal experience, but some of you have been post op for a while and have heard a lot of stories. And Im not sure Im wording this properly, but I guess what may be easiest is to list the stories and resolutions on what may be some of the head issues/games that we may be facing, and if possible, suggestions on how to work through them?
Am I making any sense?
I would love suggestions on how to manage this issues. I do know there is shame associated with the fast food as I am hiding the evidence. So why do I stop when I am ashamed? Immediate gratification? That blasted hunger hits me like a rock when I get out of work and my commute is 45 minutes. I'm rambling.....
The best place to start the 'head work' is to journal daily.
As I have brought up in other posts is a four letter world that helps kick off the journal...HALT
H is for hungry
A is for angry
L is for lonely
T is for tired.
I personally ask myself everyday how I am feeling, esp when I am feeling the compulsion to want to eat or even 'stuff' my face which is really stuffing feelings.
We all have feelings...and we all have triggers that spin us off into the world of food.
Some of my triggers have and will always be holidays. I always used them as an excuse to binge for days at a time. Not all of our eating issues are sad, or bad as mentioned. The issue is to 'root' out and address and try to put to bed the problems that got us where we are today.
You asked for a story, so I will share one with you that was an eye opener for me. I have been married for 38 yrs to a man that is ADHD but he has a good heart. As a result of being ADHD he is also a control freak, and he self medicated with alcohol. After about 5 yrs of this I had already gained weight, and was having a baby about every 2 years, that I decided that this was nuts, and started reaching out for help. At first I didn't reach out to the right people which caused me to eat even more, but I finally found a 12 step program called Al-anon. It really helped me get my head on straight, and after about a year I realized that I could change the word alcohol to food or eating, etc. and it described me. I resisted because I didn't want to give up my friend and best companion FOOD, but eventually the pain out weighed the pleasure, and I started to work on the 12 steps for myself. I haven't been perfect of course or I wouldn't have had to have RNY surgery. It took years for me to get to this point of needing surgery whereas without the work I did the time would have been a lot shorter.
Everyone has to and needs to root out the triggers and do the 'head work' aka the reasons and progression of how and why we ended up being here and needing this surgery. The best place to start is with TODAY. Ask yourself each and everyday why you want to eat this or that, or even why you want to eat at a certain time, etc. Just do it everyday, and journal, and work your way backwards in memories. I can tell you from experience that the issues will not stay buried as you progress in this journey, and if you have the tools in place then you will be able to handle them as they arise.
Sit back and allow the journey to begin, and remember that it is a journey not a destination.
Pegmarie
seeing a counselor gives you a person who is an expert at helping you not only uncover what is bothering you but also ways to deal with it.
for me "doing" something else never really cut it. but journaling is better. certainly you can try some of these on your own, but i just think the help, helps
good luck,
Rochelle
One of my first big numbers was 267 when I stood up to my dad. I finally got up the courage and called him on some hateful bigotry and asked him in very strong words to stop forwarding me these awful religious and political hate emails. I won't go into the details but I ended up getting disinvited to visit my parents at the time and was just fine with it. I felt so totally empowered!
I spent hours here on this site when I first had surgery keeping myself occupied to keep from thinking about food. I also journaled a LOT and still do. It has always been a great way for me to work through my thoughts. A book called the Artists Way had an exercise where you write 3 pages stream of consciousness. In other words you write every thought that comes into your mind without editing what you say. It is as if all these voices are speaking and you are having a conversation with yourself. I would come out with the most profound realizations and experienced a lot of healing. Getting counseling or some sort of therapy really helps. Here is a list of good books.
Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth
When Food is Food and Love is Love Geneen Roth
Breaking Free from Emotional Eating Geneen Roth
Excuse be Gone how to change lifelong self defeating thinking habits by Wayne Dyer
You can heal your life by Louise Hay
Losing your pounds of pain, breaking the link between abuse, stress, and overeating by Doreen Virtue
And
Constant Craving - What Your Food Cravings Mean and How to Overcome Them
The emotional first aid kit by Cynthia Alexander
Course in Weight Loss 22 Spiritual Lessons by Marianne Williamson
I did a LOT of healing and processing as I read these books.
You aren't your body. You live in your body. Remember that our bodies are our temples. Your light can shine through as you shed those pounds of shame, blame, self criticism, and self flagellation. In the end, the only thing you are losing are pounds of pain and you are gaining your life, your joy, your hope, peace, and participation in life again.
One of my biggest struggles (it is getting much better!) is being ok with being alone inside my own head. Hard to explain, but it was easier to eat and stay busy that way than it was to think inside myself too much. But I am learning that its not so scary in there! :) And that it is ok to be bored and to be still....
I am also learning to feel whatever is going on and address things vs. eating till I'm numb....
It is a process that I believe for most of us will go on for the rest of our lives just as recovering addicts (that is what I consider myself anyways) do.... Its not like one day they are no longer an addict, its just that they have learned how to cope without their drug...