Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group
Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.
Today is my birthday.
The day was supposed to pass uneventfully however I had expressed the fact that I did not wish to cook.
Everyone here is very aware I have had Gastric Bypass surgery.
I understand that intentions were good but I couldn't hide my disappointment when my family ssurprized me with a whole bunch of stuff that I can't eat.
They chose a Brownie Caramel Cheese Cake Torte this that was surely crafted bu the devil himself and tons of fancy.... pasta salad. I NEVER eat pasta salad. Now they all think I am an ungrateful retch because A I am not happy because I won't (can't) eat any of this.
Now in thier defense I will say I have been known to have a sliver of this or that from time to time because mostly I do not dump.
However if I eat the Brownie CC Torte from hell I will mostly likely dump. They don't understand that even the foods I eat that are off my list have to be chosen with some care.
Dacadance is not on the menu for me
Now I am hearing "We just can't make you happy"
Did you even try? Thoughtfullness is a real consideration when attempting to make someone happy.
I wouldn't make them something for thier birthday that they didn't like or couldn't eat.
Hmmmm.... what was O saying about anger....
Well, there you have it my friends.
I told them how I felt and now I sitting here alone. I guess this being honest about your feelings thing is not going to by any means, be easy
What should I have done?.
Thanks for reading the rant. XO, Hope
The day was supposed to pass uneventfully however I had expressed the fact that I did not wish to cook.
Everyone here is very aware I have had Gastric Bypass surgery.
I understand that intentions were good but I couldn't hide my disappointment when my family ssurprized me with a whole bunch of stuff that I can't eat.
They chose a Brownie Caramel Cheese Cake Torte this that was surely crafted bu the devil himself and tons of fancy.... pasta salad. I NEVER eat pasta salad. Now they all think I am an ungrateful retch because A I am not happy because I won't (can't) eat any of this.
Now in thier defense I will say I have been known to have a sliver of this or that from time to time because mostly I do not dump.
However if I eat the Brownie CC Torte from hell I will mostly likely dump. They don't understand that even the foods I eat that are off my list have to be chosen with some care.
Dacadance is not on the menu for me
Now I am hearing "We just can't make you happy"
Did you even try? Thoughtfullness is a real consideration when attempting to make someone happy.
I wouldn't make them something for thier birthday that they didn't like or couldn't eat.
Hmmmm.... what was O saying about anger....
Well, there you have it my friends.
I told them how I felt and now I sitting here alone. I guess this being honest about your feelings thing is not going to by any means, be easy
What should I have done?.
Thanks for reading the rant. XO, Hope
Happy Birthday!!!
I would sit down and have a chat with your family after your birthday passes. Clear the air with them, tell them what your needs and wants are.
For a lifetime, we've put the needs and wants of everyone else before our own. Maybe they don't truly understand the post GBS food choices you've made for yourself. On your birthday and everyday.
It's time for them to understand clearly your needs and your wants. It's time they know your health comes first.
Second - You have every right to be upset, I know I would be. You made a choice to change your life, your family should celebrate that change with you on your special day by supporting you and thinking about and preparing more appropriate food choices that fit your life.
Maybe they just done understand... and when you are less upset you can sit down and explain to them your frustration and all of the food you CAN eat that would have been better birthday fare ... maybe you can plan a weekend birthday meal redo ... and everyone can pitch in and cook a GBS friendly menu? I recommend starting with Eggface's Crab Rangoon dip, decadent, loaded with protein and I cant eat enough of it!
Food is a way MOST people learn to express care or thoughtfulness to others.
When you have had GPS sometimes family members and friends just don't get what you can and can't eat.
Good for you for expressing yourself.
Perhaps they will learn over time what you need perhaps they won't.
The best you can do is be honest.
P.S- my parents still buy me a b-day cake every year for my birthday. I don't eat it and usually they just tell me about it knowing I won't eat it. It's a dance we do. I get the underlying thought behind it and they understand my wish not to eat it.
I personally think the gift should be about the recipient but they believe the gift is about the intent. We will probably always disagree about this.
I hope the rest of your birthday gets better.
Several years ago my mother gave me some wonderful advice. She said that she had learned over the years to stop relying on other people to make her birthday special. Instead, she planned out what she wanted to do to celebrate her life. Since then, Ive planned to pamper myself on my birthdaya massage, dinner at a restaurant I pick., spending quiet time reading a book, etc. It really has made my birthdays a lot more fun.
This year, I had to make a 12 hour drive on my birthday (not a lot of fun). So, I announced to my husband that I was changing my birthday to a different day this year and spent the day pampering myself. The family did try to celebrate my sons birthday and mine while we were in Colorado on vacation. Pizza. I started to feel sorry for myself, then felt better when I promised myself I would splurge on an Outback steak when I got home (it fed me for 3 meals).
Whats done is done.When things calm down, you should try to explain why their celebration caught you off guard and what it communicated to you.
In the future, I recommend being very specific about what you want to do to celebrate your wonderful life.
JJ
You can be very happy u didn't give in to pressure! That's the best present of all!
You guys are right I should have taken charge from the start.
Pick up dinner at Swiss Chalet at 5pm go to Smiths market for the cake (where they would find a fruit basket instead) because every year on my birthday we all have to eat so it will always be my turn to chose.
I have become quite familiar with giving myself what others do not. So with that in mind I think tomorrow I am going for a spa day. Pedi, mani and I picked up a facial thing on Groupon so I'll use it.
Learning the lingo of being assertive is difficult. I am one of those who when finally pushed to the point of no return tend to present as rather unreasonable. My point of no return has been pushed back considerably since GBS.
I have to remind myself that even though thoughtfulness may be one of my great gifts it is not necessarily the gift that others posess. In any family, someone needs to pull it all together, to remember and host birthdays, Christmas and to make times special because that is their gift and thats what they will be remembered for, even if it is postumously ; )
Again thank-you so much members of my GBS family who can always be counted on to be understanding.
PS. I did have one bite of the cake. I was right on 2 counts.
One, I would dump if I had more
Two, The cake was definately make buy Satan.
Thanks All. Love Hope
Happy Brthday
Rhonda
Kathi
Hugs! Patricia
Sorry your family did not get it right today and so happy for you that you are going to get it right for yourself tomorrow. It's so tough for others to understand what we are going through, the choices we make and how our approach to food has had to change. What's worse, is that deep down, we all want to eat cake once in awhile...and when it is in our face----its soooooo much more frustrating not to. Heck, I have been on a liquid diet for what seems like forever, and yesterday, my 13 year old was talking about some food he wanted me to try...I said, son, have you not realized mom isn't really eating anything right now but liquids and protein shakes???? He said, oh mom, I forgot. Sometimes they don't really see or think, but at least here at my house (and I am sure at yours too) they are still proud of us for our choice to be healthy and happier moms.
I am really sorry that this did not turn out as it should have, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you anyhow!
xoxoxo,
Leslie
This might.... express my feelings, quell my rage, and save my soul (health).
The strange thing is ... I don't know if I can. Isn't that weird? It's my cake. Hmmmm ....points to ponder......