Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group

Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.

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chemistz 04/21/2011

Why is it so hard for people like us to take a compliment? Maybe it is just me. Several people at work have made very flattering comments to me this week about my weight loss. I say "Thanks" and then I can't seem to help also saying "I have lots more to go though". I don't know if I say this because I want them to understand that I am not finished yet or more likely because I don't feel like I have accomplished that much.

Either way it is a silly habit and I have to put a stop to it! It is harmful to my mood and we all know what that produced in the past. I am ever mindful of my destructive tendencies. I want to succeed and so far I am. Oh, how slippery is that slope though.

This site helps me in so many ways and for that I am very grateful. It is nice to read all the WOWS but it is equally good to see some of the small breakdowns and fears. I think we all share them and to get them out into the light of the discussion board helps us all ultimately.

Thanks everyone for listening to me ramble...

deleted_user 04/21/2011

Good post, Chemistz! It's the little things that can trip us up or create awkwardness for us. Fact is, "thanks" is enough. You are thinking about it, so can begin to practice...as you WILL be hearing more compliments as time goes by...regardless of where you are in the weight loss journey.

It's a lot like when someone dies and often people feel like they have to know what to say, or add something profound when a simple, "I'm sorry" is really enough there too.

We are use to camoflauging not just our bodies, but our emotions, almost anticipating the other shoe to fall, so to speak, right? It's a protective reaction and one we've gotten good at over the years as an overweight person. You can now begin to simplify your life with simple responses! It WILL become a little easier in time.

Keep up the good work!

MNMama 04/21/2011

I do the same thing. I deflect the compliments in some way....like I didn't earn them. Maybe it's my Northern European Ancestors Traditions popping up-- we are helpful to others, don't like to take credit for ourselves, and jump to take the blame for anyone else's troubles.
Another thing is how excited everyone around me is about my weight loss. I am working hard at my program, and feeling impatient with myself for not knowing "how to do it right" already. For instance, one too many bites or eating a bit too fast if I'm late for a meal. Everyone around me is going "you look so great" and "Yay you", but I feel how much further I have to go inside. Silly isn't it?
At least I've been able to smile and say "thank you," but I wonder at what point it will be "Yay ME?"
Oh....I have much to learn.
Take care.

deleted_user 04/21/2011

Yep feel the same way. Like I always have to tell them I still have a way to go... Don't know why I can't just say thank you.

deleted_user 04/21/2011

I realized I am being destructive when someone asks me if I have lost weight instead of just acknowledging it and saying yes. I always preface it by saying yes I had GBS in January. Unless they ask I just need to acknowledge them and take the compliment and move on! Quit offering information that isn't needed and accept that it is showing that I am succeeding at this plan.

deleted_user 04/21/2011

I do this too! Is it us being humble? or is it that we aren't use to getting compliments? I don't know. But, what I do know is that no matter how much weight I lose, I will always think I'm fat. Never satisfied - how horrible is that?

Lcat4 04/21/2011

" yeah, thanks! I feel great!" as I light up with a smile. That's what I have found myself saying. This is a journey of developing a new relationship with life as well as ourselves. Learning to treat ourselves with love, honor and respect is an exciting part of the process. We are coming out of ourselves and opening up to life. Enjoy and embrace the process! You deserve to be proud of you!

imcshe 04/21/2011

The compliments do come fairly often now after losing about 70 pounds, so it does start to feel a little odd. But I still love each comment, and usually say thanks and that I'm feeling really great.

But I still feel just like "me" like I did 70 pounds heavier, and when people say they almost didn't recognize me, it's hard to understand the changes! Hard to explain this, but maybe many of you know what I mean.

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