I had something similar happen to me. She basically asked why I would want to do something like that? There can be complications, etc, etc. It kind of took me by surprise, since she's also been struggling with her weight, and sees bariatric surgery patients on a regular basis as we get them post op on our floor.

Honestly, I think part of it stems from jealousy, that you're doing something to better your health and are making a commitment to be healthy again, and they're not. I think another part of it is that they may genuinely be concerned for you, but just express it in a very negative way.

My advice: don't let it get to you. Know that you're doing it to enhance your health and take your life back from the weight (literal and figurative) that you've been carrying around. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to see the good in what you're doing, but as long as you're sound in your decision and have other people around you to support you and cheer you on, that's what really matters.

((hugs)) Sarah

People just don't stop and think. I think the surgery saves lives. I know i got my life back

Your friend probably has good intentions but the wrong delivery. If she is a close friend you could tell her that her reaction hurt your feelings or pissed you off which ever it was. Then simply say that you know there are risks and they are ones you are willing to take. She has the reality part right things happen and not just because the patient is doing something wrong or the Dr. did something wrong but just because we are high risk patients and sh*t happens in life. If she is not that close of a friend and you are secure with your preperations you could limit your contact or cut her out of your life because concern is one thing toxic is another. :)

A lady in my office had the surgery about 4 years ago and someone asked me "Do I think she is taking the easy way out". I didn't know how to respond because I did not know much about the surgery. I think people sjould just mind there own business. If they know you well enough they should trust your decision and support it.

I think that's probably one of the things that irritates me most, the "they're just taking the easy way out" mentality. Um, no. After WLS you still have to do work. You still have to exercise, and follow an eating plan, and do the emotional work. It's not like we can sit around and eat cookies all day and drop the weight. One of the girls I work with definitely has that mentality, and thinks that people who have WLS are lazy. I've found that I just can't talk with her about the patients we get who have had it, because it just makes me angry.

I had a reaction from a dear from of over 30 years this week. I asked how are you doing, she stated feeling "fat" How are you skinny? OH my I didn't really know what to say. We both have been big for years. But a couple of years ago she lost 30lbs, got tanned and was working out. I didn't respond in a negative way. I was thrilled for her. But you know I have read several articles about how the surgery and weight loss can change relationships, this is sad. But I believe we can't surround ourselves with negative people.

Honestly (if she is a big girl too)I think she is jealous. I think that she thinks when you lose the weight and she goes out with you, I think she's afraid she would stand out more since she will still be a big girl. A people might say things because of her size more when next to you.
Of course I can be totally wrong and talking out my a**. I hope that she said it truely out of concern for you. Talk to her about it and tell her that you appreciate the prayer but that you need her support too.
debby

It never ceases to amaze me why people call GBS the "easy way out" as if that were a bad thing....first - it isn't "easy"...second - if it were, why would that be bad? It's not like Americans try to find the most difficult way to accomplish stuff (dishwashers, cars, etc)...third - it is a way out, for most of us, the only way out.

Personally, I'm glad I took it.

JJ

I've chose to only tell a few people before I have surgery just because I don't want to have to explain why this is best for me. After surgery I'm not sure how I will handle it........ but if anyone says I took the easy way out, I think I will tell them not to judge me until they've walked in my shoes and let it go at that. Do what's right for you and don't let people make you feel bad for that!

I am not really hurt by her comment because I truly think she said it out of concern, but she could have left it at I will pray for you. This reaction makes me all the more nervous about telling my mother this weekend because I know her reaction will not be good. She will worry herself for the next 7 weeks until I have my surgery. When she worries about stuff she doesn't suffer silently LOL. I will hear from her everyday. But who knows maybe she will surprise me and be right on board and not worried --- nah I am kidding myself with that comment!

I didn't tell many people before hand because I didn't want people to try to tell me all the negative stuff. I got scared every time I heard a story about complications and deaths related to WLS. And I did have a stricture which is considered a complication but everything worked out fine.

It was hard for me not to share in the beginning because I felt like it was good news. But I was careful who I told after hearing a few horror stories. Afterwards I have told more people.

My cousin, who's more like a sister to me, had the same reaction. She had two friends that died from complications. I know she was only very concerned for me out of her fear. She also said I was taking the easy way out but I let her know immediately that it wasn't easy at all. I have to make minute-by-minute choices regarding food and if I don't make the correct choices I can wreck the whole thing. She pushed her opinion very hard prior to my surgery but afterwards she stopped worrying so much. I didn't get that type of reaction from anyone else I told.