Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I've gone without gambling and have tried to gamble "responsibly," as the literature says. (Ha!) As much as I hate losing, I'm perplexed at why I just can't seem to take any winnings and leave. After a relatively good win, I seem to need to spend every last dime of it to try to win more. Even when I'm pretty sure I'm throwing good money after bad, I keep playing until all the money I had won is gone, and usually more. I think of the lyrics from "The Gambler" -- "know when to walk away, know when to run." I KNOW when to walk away and when to run -- I just don't.
I have one a jackpot only to give it right back. The casino is in business because of people like us. They can pay out, because they know we give it back. The sickening feeling as I drive home and in my mind I calculate all the food I could have put in the freezer, or credit card that needed to be paid. When is the last time I spent money on a nice dress, shoes ext...? I am sure you know the feeling of being so mad at yourself.
We don't walk away, because our brain is already engaged into the bells and whistles. We are not casual gamblers. I am in the moment able to ignore the world and pain that drove me to hide in my addiction, only to feel a different pain.
If you have read the post from people that have a good amount of time staying out of the trap, they suggest self ban. I did not want to do that, because I was fooling myself that I could walk into a casino with $20 have a good time a leave. That will NEVER happen for me. I put into place ways to not get money. When and how did I become so tricky? Ug, Who am I ?
Money is not the issue, we prove that by getting it and giving it back. The issue is we are on a drug and we need more drugs. Check out some videos on why our brain needs this addiction.
Your life will have to mean more to you then the trip to the trap. You will have to get to the point where you love life not death.
My addiction started because I didn't love me or life anymore.
This is going to sound crazy, but I am now in a place where I want to live again. I will not find life in a casino. I got to a place where I was so scared that I would once and for all lose myself forever. The only way for me was to self ban. To love life more then the ugly addiction that would kill me. May I actually change that to an addiction that will kill "US"
You know you will not walk away so please do not walk in.
Please self ban to save your life.
Hugs.
I've won $9K in a casino and given it all back within the next week. I've probably lost $60-80K between 2007 and mid-2015. Moreover, I've lost time, days upon days where all I could think about was going to the casino for 3-24 hours at a time -- time I could've had building skills for my business, time I could've been spending with family, time I could've spent reading or exercising and improving myself. It's why I'm abstaining now.
Addiction is when it's out of control. It's sounding like you might be out of control.