In December 2014 -- I quit my job of 15 years due to stress and anxiety associated with my gambling. I was struggling with guilt, creditors contacting me at my place of employment, anxiety and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I came clean to my husband and felt like my world was crumbling very fast. He did not leave and for that I am grateful. The guilt was so consuming I sought medical help for anxiety and depression. During the next couple of months, I tried to quit gambling but I continued to think I could recoup some of the money for our finances as I was unemployed. In February 2015 I began a contract assignment and was back working full time. My salary was less but in reality was more since I finally stopped on May 22. In the past year, I have paid off 7 pay day loans, 1 personal loan, only owe 3 more car payments. Took a weeks family vacation paying for all with cash -- not credit. My credit score tanked during 2014 and after a year has increased almost 100 points. I still struggle at times with fear of the mailbox -- a late notice, etc or calls from unknown numbers. I still have a payment plan with the IRS for taxes due to cashing out 401k monies to gamble. But ... my bills are all paid, my utilities are current, and my husband is trusting again. I still am consumed with guilt but it keeps me humble. It's funny how the addict is blind to the future and a recovering addict is eyes wide open to the future. My future is in my hands and I am determined to make it the best.

It's impossible ... said PRIDE
It's risky ... said EXPERIENCE
It's pointless ... said REASON

"Give it a try" ... whispered the heart.